VeganBibliotecaria

LAST POST

2008-06-01T21:37:00.004-03:00

EVER!

I don't know that ANYONE reads this anymore....but just in case....

I won't be posting here - EVER AGAIN. (I just really like the whole emphasis thing...teehee). A year ago when I started this blog I was hoping to marry my long time boyfriend, I was living in DC and going to school to be a librarian. I started this blog as a project for work, with no focus or foundation - really just to check out new technology. Loads and loads has changed since then. I'm single, living in Boston, working at a non-profit, and thinking - seriously - about getting a MA in pastoral ministry with a concentration in justice and spirituality.

But never fear - I have a new blog. It's not about Brasil, librarianship, or veganism. It's all about my faith and social justice convictions and the places where the two do (and don't) intersect.

I'm working hard on the blog and my first post is scheduled to publish on June 4th, 2008.

You can find me at http://faithintersectsaction.wordpress.com/. I truly hope to "see" many friendly faces there. Thank you for your support and encouragement here.

Beijos e abracos,
M

Yah, yah, yah

2008-04-05T21:01:00.008-03:00

Hmmm....been a while, eh? Doesn't make for very effective blogging. My grandmother has officially told me she is writing me off - in the blogosphere at least.

I'm here. I'm here! Don't give up....quite yet.

I often think about blogging - just not as much as I think about all the work I have to do, or why I've started a new long distance relationship, or why I haven't worked out, or what I'm going to eat next. I think about those things a LOT more. teehee.

Updates:

Recycling: Almost every Boston T stop has a recycling receptacle for the free dailies that are distributed every morning. Yippee!!! Granted, it is a plastic garbage bag, and not a metal container (like fabulous DC) so that seems like unneccessary waste. But hey - it is something. Also, I have stolen back the recycling bin I use at home. For those of you that didn't know my neighbor had taken the bin I requested from the city and claimed it as their own. I stole it back - hopefully from the right (or shall we say wrong?) person. Viva recyling!!!

Family: I bought a ticket, busted my chops to take three days off of work and suprised my cousin Liana for her 21st birthday. Well, sort of. She knew - but it was a wonderful weekend in Atlanta and Athens, GA nonetheless. My brother also drove over from SC. We had loads of cousinly love all around. I didn't grow up with very strong family ties and feel SO blessed to be creating them at this stage in my life.

I spent today with a local cousin, Jesse. He helped me load, transport, and assemble furniture. I am now officially not living in boxes. Woohoo!!!! He is so great to have around: big/tall/strong, funny, and musical. Who could ask for more in a cousin?

Farm: I am going to be a farmer one day. I am going to buy land with Moose, Booboo, Chorizo, and Drew (those are people by the way) and we are going to operate a permaculture farm and community hostel. Information, updates, and donation solicitations to follow. teehee!

Work: HARD! personally and professionally transformative. soul fulfilling. exhausting. love it. hate it. April 17th will be my third month on the job and the end of my probationary period. I have to decide if I will commit to the position for the next 3 years. I have never had a job that challenges me to grow and pushes me to excel in such a relentless and consistent fashion. It is the only job I've ever had that I look at the clock at 6pm on Friday and think "I wish it was 4pm" and then proceed to stay until 7pm. And when I leave I still have hours left of work. I've also never had a job that gave me such a clear and direct avenue to changing kids lives. I think I'll commit and complain a whole lot about it - but be better for it. Let's see~

Boys: For the first time in 8 years I am not dating Art or thinking about Art. And I live in the same city as him!!! That phase of my life has finally reached a conclusion. A new one has begun. I thought it was going to be one of single revelry and Bostonian flirting. Instead....it is with an insanely busy PhD student who lives in.......are you ready......Washington,DC. Yes, yes - I did just move from there. AHHHHHHH!!!! Trust me - if it wasn't the most profound emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and physical connection of my life I would kick him to the curb. Sigh. Whether we date for one more day (his crazy schedule is for the birds) or the rest of my life, it doesn't really matter. He's completely altered what I believe is possible from love (and I am NOT saying I am in love with him), but he is just that amazing. He is a gift from God - in the hardship and happiness. So (much like with my job) I am completely thrilled, engaged, grateful, frustrated, and conflicted. Oh joy!

Working out: Was doing great and then fell off the band wagon this week. Wish me luck for a good run tomorrow. Almost three weeks ago I visited my folks in NYC and my pops had me do a great weight lifting routine. I was inspired....for like three days. Ugh! If I hadn't just bought all this furniture (did I mention that 3 months into living in Boston and I'm finally out of boxes?!?!) I'd totally splurge on a personal trainer. Maybe next month....I do have those 20 boxing classes that I spent $200 on and haven't used once. Monday, monday - I'll go to class Monday (maybe this Monday it will actually be true).

Food: I don't have much time to cook or even eat out. I've just been eating the fruit and veggies that Boston Organics deliver. BUT, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the BEST Indian food I've ever eaten (which happened to be vegan). I got this dish at the Grit in Athens, GA. That curry tofu (and Liana) made it one of the best meals of my life. Not to mention their insanely wonderful vegan chocolate pecan pie. I'm drooling. No exaggeration. You may not have the pleasure of my cousin but it would still be worth going. I wasn't a big fan of the corn "thing" (in the small cup) - it was obviously canned corn. Gross! With all the ethanol production and high fructose corn syrup causing insane deman for corn you would think I could get some fresh. Oh well. Besides that it was a great atmosphere, spunky and efficient service, and great great great food. Go to the Grit!

i'm waiting and it's shorter

2008-03-05T00:14:00.004-03:00

Yup. I cut my hair. I had to do something - I'm single, ONE HUNDRED happy percent, for the first time in a while. Oh, yeah, I've been single before. I know, I know. But Art was always there. In my heart, filling my head, lifting my hopes. And now......I'm letting that go, getting rid of the safety net. What gave me the strength??? I want him to be happy. And that ain't with me.
Anyway.....I had to do something to mark the occassion. My pops teased me that I'll probably get a new email address (that is what I have done since I had my first hotmail address at 18) but not this time. This time I went for short and sassy. Still not quite as sassy as me - but it will do for now. Until the next boy.......but with any luck that won't be for a good long while.

Thursday I am hosting a vegan dinner (with scallops wrapped in bacon for the insistent carnivore male in the group). What I cook and eat will be vegan so that makes it a vegan dinner. teehee! Not quite sure what I'll be making, perhaps gnocci with spinach pesto.

Exercise. Well, I did run three times last week. All over 40 minutes. Haven't run yet this week. But will. I will! I love it so much - why don't I make it happen???? Ugh. I fully blame the state of Massachusetts. When I lived in DC I ran - regularly. The weather here is atrocious. I left for work at 6:50am (didn't get home until 8pm). I had planned on taking a lunch break and running at 1pm. The weather didn't have the common decency to hold off on raining until I had a chance to do so. The nerve! Oh...what's that you say.......what about the gym......that I belong to......and is one block away from work.....well.....hmmm.....let's see......

Still waiting on pins and needles for the results in Ohio and Texas.......

Retraction

2008-03-02T08:23:00.003-03:00

So not to long ago I wrote about the pitiful recycling bin situation in Boston - especially within the T stations. Since then I have noticed several green top, sheet plastic bag receptacles for recycling the newspaper. Which is great to see. Granted - they are always empty when I see them, there is no public awareness campaign to push the recycling, and there are still tons of newspapers littering the train and platform. BUT....I've got to be honest - they are there.

On an unrelated note I think Harvard Sq. is the smelliest T stop of all the ones I've been to. ugh! I would love to do a review of all the T stops on a given line. Maybe during the summer.

I'm very excited to get to know more of Boston. I just signed up to be a volunteer tour guide for Boston by Foot. (more details to come after I start the 6 week training.) Starting in April I will be attending Saturday lectures about significant historical and architectural sites. The class runs from 10-3pm, I have to write 4 papers (3 to 5 pages), and I will have a final exam. Then I am off - I will be giving 6 tours between May and October. If you visit me up here in Boston I'll be able to give you a 12 dollar tour for free. If that (plus me) isn't incentive to visit I don't know what is!

Whatta week

2008-03-01T08:17:00.002-03:00

Superficial updates:
- I have seen two newspaper recycling receptacles at T stops (Downtown Crossing and Haymarket). Woohoo. woohoo. My personal recycling bin was stolen and hasn't been returned. Those dirty rotten.....
- I have recently watched Michael Clayton and In Bruges and read Plainsong. Interesting....very very interesting. Michael Clayton was a suspenseful tale of corrupt greed and redemption. In Bruges was a slightly anti-American, racist, dry humor shoot em up. I never thought Colin Farrell was a good actor - now I can be convinced otherwise. And Plainsong was simple, slow, and quiet. I don't read a lot of fiction and this happened by accident . The writing was sparse and straight forward. It was subtle (I'm a big fan of alliteration). Worth reading but I can't say there were any big take aways.
- There is a new raw vegan restaurant in the North End of Boston - Grezzo. Whawhawhat???? Suprise suprise. It was a small space with an intensely personal atmosphere. It was pricey and hit or miss mostly because I am NO fan of raw food. BUT the gnocchi and dessert was GOOD and filled me for the evening. I really felt very energized afterward. But I refuse to go raw. You can't cook anything above 112 degrees. That is ridiculous (said the vegan who won't shop at Walmart, buy Nike, and strives to buy fair trade, organic, and local). We have to be reasonable - I mean....what about peanut butter cookies and pumpkin muffins? I need an oven! teehee.

More profound -
- My amazing coworker lost her father to cancer this past Monday. One of my former coworkers, a beautiful, kind, spirited 31 yr old new mother is losing her life to cancer. Death is incredibly sad and wrenching. And I have faith in something beyond this tragic moment. I can't imagine otherwise.
- I've been praying. Not down on my knees wailing and gnashing of teeth kind of stuff but a silent thread that permeates my day. On the bus I'll offer the "her" (see above) up in love for healing and peace. As I brush my teeth I'll be reminded to pray for those in Darfur, Iraq and Afghanistan who are experiencing devastating loss and violence. As I lie in bed I'll pray for those with addictions - to smoking, gambling, drinking, drugs, etc. I pray that God fills them with the love and courage to feel fullfilled on their own merits. It's been a blessing to be reinvigorated to turn to God.
- I've moved beyond the quiet desperation of wanting to get married and be with someone (most of you know who). Whether that happened or not I was comfortable. And safe. Now I am questioning what I want, where I'll be, and who God has chosen for me. Well....I guess it's not too late to be a nun...I think I'd be quite a looker in a habit.

Family - give me more

2008-02-24T22:46:00.003-03:00

Visited my Uncle Ben (whom I haven't seen in 13ish years) his wife - Aunt Robin and his two sons, my cousins Jesse and Thom (and Jesse's girlfriend Lauren). I got there at 1:45 and left at 7pm. We spent five hours laughing and talking. As I was leaving it struck me how lucky I am. I always missed strong family connections growing up and in the past year have been blessed to realize it isn't ever too late. Uncle Ben is easily accessible by public transportation (only 13 dollars round trip and under 2 hours from my door to his), I LOVE my cousins, he served great red wine, Robin was incredibly warm and welcoming, and their dogs are super cute. But no treadmill. I guess their thoughtful consideration of my vegan diet, hilarity, and kindness will just have to suffice.

I still haven't worked out. ARGH!!!! I'm moodier, less energetic, even less organized, not to mention insecure and whiny. I had a very strategic plan for working out today and somehow ended up making pumpkin muffins instead. But I've been reading the Run with Dogs blog which is motivating and causes me to feel shame. I will run tomorrow. I will!!!! (unless I talk myself out of it - which I easily allow the frigid temps to do). I tried to emmulate my DC running group that originated with a craigslist posting but the results were disastarous. I never met up with the two people that responded but the one chick ended up being PSYCHO and sending me rambling tirades calling me stupid, harsh, attitudey, and a princess (even though she never met me). Ahhh...the joys of craigslist.

My sassy Saturday night was shopping at Harvest Coop in Cambridge. It took me 8 minutes to get there on the 64, but over an hour an half to get back. Bus schedules are like men - can't figure them out and just when you think you have - they change on you...with no notice. I spent over NINETY dollars at the grocery store. How do I do that????? Well....I buy things like a small bag of $6 vital wheat gluten because once I walk through the grocery store doors I enter a state of delusion. All the vegan organic products transport me to a fantasy world where I am going to made homemade seitan. It isn't until I am dragging the seriously heavy bags home that reality hits me, I won't. In my defense I bought cleaning supplies and vitamins.

I'm Back

2008-02-23T00:54:00.003-03:00

Whoa - that was a LONG break. One day just turned into the next which turned into a month - with no photos and no energy. But about 6 people have told me that this blog is how they keep track of me, and I love to write and talk about me, so why not??? So for those 6 people, this one's for you!

Let's try this format....5 thoughts at a time: fitness, my adopted city, food, free time, and faith.

- I haven't worked out consistently since I moved to Boston. I am working out about 1x a week and eating way too much. I did take one class (and sign up for 20 more classes) of women's boxing at Boston Boxing. It will take me about another week to make it to class again because of work (and I work the least in the office). Even though I've only gained 3 pounds I feel like a beached whale. Myself and some coworkers signed up for a 5 mile run in Jamaica Plains on April 13th. Lets see...

- Boston was recently voted an very green/environmentally friendly city. But my biggest pet peeve is that the T (subway) is LITERED with the free newspapers, Boston Now and Metro, that are distributed every morning. There is NO recycling at any stations. So annoying. I guess there was some talk of MBTA (they run the subway) of recycling more - but that was back in 2006 and ain't nothing happened!

- I ordred the 27 dollar box of produce from Boston Organics and my first delivery was this week. Since one of my New Year's Resolutions is to eat 5-7 servings of fruits and veggies a day I thought this was a great idea. It's not - not nearly enough produce. So then I thought of buying a CSA (community supported agriculture - you buy a share of a local farm and get a weekly produce box). I was thinking about Parker Farm but then I read he doesn't have orchards and grows a lot of fennel. I hate fennel. What is an incredibly lazy but caring girl to do?

-I get about ten tv stations and still waste too much time watching tv. I got home today and after eating way too much (a falafel sandwhich, vegetarian vegetable soup, and loads of dry rice chex cereal) I proceeded to watch Two and a Half Men (disgustingly horrible and cliche), Jeopardy (I hate when contestants select 1600 and don't start at the top of the category), and Medical Mysteries on ABC - which was fear inducing and cringe worthy. Why do I do this to myself?

- It is Lent. My prayer life sucks. I'm not volunteering anywhere. I tell myself I'm going to fast every Wednesday and I only last until about 6pm. Ugh. double ugh. Not to mention I went from being surrounded by bible thumping craddle Catholics last year to progressive aetheist/agnostic coworkers this year that warily treat people of faith as just a little bit slow and seriously unenlightened. triple ugh. I've been asking myself a lot lately why I am Catholic - I don't believe homosexuality is wrong, I won't picket at abortion clinics, and I'm often ashamed of the church's stance on issues (especially historically). What I wouldn't give (sometimes) to be a straight forward liberal, unencumbered by faith. If only I didn't believe in the real presence of the eucharist (which I haven't taken for MONTHS), the importance of Mary, the reverence of saints, the holy trinity. Then....then I could be Unitarian or nondenominational. If only~

I blame the 6 inches of snow on my bahhumbug mood.

I love broccoli

2008-01-27T11:13:00.000-02:00

They look like little trees. They are green. But can broccoli help prevent heart attacks? There was a study recently that suggests that broccoli can reduce the risk of heart attack. Personally, I can eat some steamed broccoli without any encouragement - but that sure would be cool, if it were true. What I like about Medical News Today is that they evaluate the claim by summarizing the study, the results, and the researchers interpretation and then give their own. MNT isn't quite sold on the claim BUT they say broccoli can't hurt.

Since I'm speaking of broccoli I should probably post a recipe. But....I don't have one. I just steam mine and eat it - straight up. Plus, I haven't worked out or cooked much since I got to Boston - hence the reason I feel like an obese buffalo. So instead I'll just point you to the broccoli bisque at Don't Get Mad, Get Vegan. I haven't made (yet) but I have faith that it is delicious!

Work is......well.....intense. I'm totally inspired by what they do but not quite sure if I'll fit into the office culture or get the hang of mentoring. They keep telling me they don't expect me to pick up the interview/mentoring techniques naturally or by intiution but evidence is to the contrary. I haven't cooked much, as stated above, but I did bake pumpkin muffins from Vegan with a Vengeance on Friday. I'm not sure if they were a hit or not but I liked them.

Alright. Off to find and go to mass (I missed 8am mass at St. Anthony's in Portuguese), do some grocery shopping, and watch Their Will be Blood. I got my syllabus yesterday for one of my classes, which starts next Saturday. AHHHHHHH!!!! Lots and lots and lots of reading. I'll be one busy lil bee.

where did it go?

2008-01-22T23:02:00.000-02:00

time that is! It has nearly been a week since my last post.
In that time I started a new job, hosted a cousin I haven't seen in probably 15 years, attended my roommates housewarming party, reconnected with another cousin, started reading for a class that starts next Saturday, and did three loads of laundry at the sketchy laundry mat down the block.

FOOD:
I kept food nearly vegan for my cousin (who is vegetarian, and practically my twin in background, humanitarian concerns, and sense of humor). We ate breakfast at Bagel Rising and Veggie Planet. She took pics of the yummy blueberry waffles at VP but alas, I did not. (We, the cousins, discovered that not taking pictures runs in the family). My cousins also loved the Lebanese food at Reef. And I whipped up a batch of chocolate chip muffins from a Cherrybrook mix that were a hit. (the mixes happen to be on sale at Shaw's).

ACTIVITIES:
It was cold. Really, really, really cold. Bitterly so. But my cousin, from Georgia, was a trooper (and an incredibly light packer to boot). Somehow she ended up going to the MFA three of the four days she was here. I am responsible for two trips, once was to see The Axe in the Attic, a truly moving documentary on post-Katrina realities and the filmmakers point of view. The women who sat behind us were big talkers, which I decided to tolerate in the spirit of my Brasilian influences. That only lasted until they started making lunch plans for McDonald's. The second trip, the next day was to use my free museum pass and see the Napoleon exhibit for $8 instead of $23. It was well worth $8, I'm not sure I'd say the same about $23. I took her for a brief stroll around Boston Commons and for a quick look around the Boston Public Library at Copley. But mostly....we just talked. About Cuba, and Brasil, and East Asian languages, and the difference between knitting and crocheting, and family, and boys, and the weather. It was fantastic.

BEST:
-The fact that my cousin took the risk of spending nearly 300 dollars to meet a stranger. To know her is to love her. She has an infectous laugh, she is beautiful, smart, and not at all cynical. I miss her already.
-That my other cousin, who lives in eastern MA, is just as great. And can sing. Woohoo.
-When the three cousins got together we planned an AMAZING trip to the Grand Canyon from August 9th to August 16th. All the cousins are invited, but no matter how many attend I couldn't be more thrilled.
-I also really enjoyed meeting one of my roommates friends who is consider becoming vegan. I really liked showing her cookbooks, hearing her own journey to veganism, reviewing local restaurants, and articulating my own reasons for being vegan. I love being vegan!

Falling in Love

2008-01-16T20:56:00.000-02:00

Love....a racing heart, butterflies in the stomach, an inexplicable smile. I've started to notice that I'm exhibiting some of the symptoms. What is his name you ask? Well, it is a tad more complicated then that.

I feel myself falling in love....

1. BOSTON
My first week here I was regretting my decision. It's cold. SOSOSOSO cold. A MBTA bus driver is just as likely to watch you run to their bus (stopped at a red light) and drive off without opening the doors as they are to ignore your pleas for directions. I was on my fourth interview, to seemingly no avail. The vegan food scene leaves something to be desired. The museums are pathetically few. But then....something happened.....and I've started to fall in love.
I had fun walking through the beautiful newly fallen 6 inches of snow yesterday.
I got the job (and start tomorrow). Woohoo!
The grocery stores here have TONS of vegan options.
I saw people cross country skiing to work. Awesome!
They say warsh. I could listen to that accent all day.

2. LIBRARIES
If you didn't know I moved to Boston to complete my masters in Library Science at Simmons College. I was starting to wonder if that was what I wanted. At Simmons I HAVE to meet with my advisor and fill out an annoying sheet with my plan of study. The only classes I want to take are at Mt. Holyoke - TWO hours away. Every library I've walked into recently seems to be a silent tomb devoid of life. But then....something happened....and I've started to fall in love (all over again).
I signed up for my bright orange BPL (boston public library) card and was reminded of all the amazing services that libraries provide (books, dvds, internet, meeting space, classes).
I picked up a free museum pass to the MFA (museum of fine arts) using my library card.
I read about all the cool programs the main library at Copley Square offers.
I got the reading list for my "Young Adult Literature" class and am excited to read the books.
I didn't have to buy books for class because I checked them out from the library. sweet!

3. COLD WEATHER
This will come as a shock to my friends and family but it is kinda true. Sure, as I walked down the street today tears and snot were streaming down my face it was so cold. I haven't run outside since last Friday (or worked out at all) because I lose feeling in my toes after about 3 minutes. And next week an Artic Front is rolling in. Cold weather from the ARTIC - it gets much colder apparently. That is gonna be cold. But I can't help it....
I look cute in scarves, hats, and gloves.
I like how rosy my cheeks get from the near hypothermia.
I really enjoy walking fast and the weather gives me an excuse.
I adore my black clunky snow boots, despite their ugliness, and now have a reason to wear them constantly.
I have a jacket fetish and now have a legitimate reason to buy them.

I just hope I also fall in love with boys, classes, and work. That remains to be seen.....

Boston - Jan.14th to 21st....no....17th

2008-01-13T19:16:00.000-02:00

Awesome. We (me and the fellow residents of New England) are supposed to get...oh I don't know....up to 10 inches of snow between today and tomorrow. I don't know that I've seen that much snow up close this century. If I am able to open my front door there are some things I'll be looking into this week and some stuff I just think sounds cool.

MONDAY
*Wine Tasting for the Complete Novice (6:30pm)
The Boston Wine School has a 4 class series starting this Monday. I won't be attending because of price, time, and probable lack of vegan/organic wines. BUT....I thought it sounded too cool not to include. Cost - TWO hundred buckaroos. Sidenote - I used to hate wine and then I turned 28 and my vision got worse, my cellulite doubled, and now I like wine. Doesn't seem worth it......

*Eyes on the Prize: 4 Little Girls at Boston Public Library (6pm)
The Boston Public Library (I love libraries) at Copley Square will be showing 4 Little Girls at 6pm. Cost - FREE (because libraries are the best use of your tax dollars ever!). Here is a January calendar of events. Depending on the weather (moan, groan, moan) I may go.

*Madeleine Albright at the JFK Library and Museum (5:30pm)
She will be talking about her new book. I definitely respect the controversy surrounding decisions she did (or didn't) make during her tenure as secretary of state, but regardless - this woman is a powerhouse. Requires registration. Cost - free?

TUESDAY
*Hummus Taste-Off at MIT (12pm)
Ummmm....yeah. Why not? It is open to the public and free.

WEDNESDAY
*Human Rights Watch International Film Festival (16th, 19th, 20th of this week)
A description of the event and each film can be found here. I will probably be dropping in for The Axe in the Attic, Cocalero, and Nanking. I am most interested in Cocalero but it is unlikely I will make it due to work (with any luck), a long lost visiting cousin (woohoo), and house warming party that night. At my house. Cost - ranges from $8-12.

*Third by Wendy Wasserstein (various times)
Third, a play written by Wendy Wasserstein, is playing at the Hungtington Theater. The Boston Globe did a write up on the play - I think it sounds good (my sophisticated analysis reveals my deep understanding and appreciation of the performing arts). Cost - the worst seats imaginable go for $15 and the next price point seems to be $40.

*Coit Observatory at BU - "Public Open Night at the Observatory" (7:30pm)
Depending on the weather (I pray that it isn't still snowing) the observatory at BU is open to the public on Wednesday nights starting at 7:30pm (during the winter). Call 617-353-2630 at about 5:30pm to see if it is still on. I'm all about astronomy (a class that I got a 4.0 in college and yet learned absolutely NOTHING) after going to the Hayden Planetarium. I probably won't go this week since I plan on attending the HRW Film Festival opening. Cost - free?

THURSDAY
*The Winter's Concert (8pm)
Don't forget - the benefit concert for Spare Change will be Thursday night at the Paradise Lounge. The mission statement: "Spare Change and the Homeless Empowerment Project (HEP) is to play a role in ending homelessness in our community by providing income, skill development and self-advocacy opportunities to people who are homeless or at risk of homelessness." My cousin flies in from Atlanta (and hopefully doesn't pass out from hypothermia) but I'll still be going before her arrival. Cost - $10 and WELL worth it.

*Gardner After Hours (5-9pm)
A cool new nationwide museum trend is to stay open late with music and sometimes alcohol. This one occurs the third Thursday of every month. Haven't been to this museum, much less their after hours festivities, but it can't hurt to check it out. Cost - $12 for adults, $5 for students, more if you get tickets to the concert piece as well

-Third (listed above)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay. I've been at this for over 2 hours. It is really a lot of work. (especially since I don't even think anyone that lives in Boston reads my blog or can use it....) If I have time tomorrow I'll try to research some more for weekend events. If you have any ideas or insider tips feel free to pass them along.

Purpose

2008-01-12T19:44:00.000-02:00

Ugh - what is this bleepin' blog about? I love talking about myself and all my inane ideas/opinions but I need a flippin' purpose. (bear with me, i'm lovin' abbreviatin' words) On Monday I will hopefully be getting a full time job (after two in-person interviews and two phone interviews I deserve it!!!). Additionally, classes start at the end of the month which will require me getting a stinkin' shuttle at 7:15am every Saturday morning -taking two classes- and getting back to Boston at 6:15pm (stupid Simmons doesn't offer the classes i want at the times i want on main campus, oh....and....i registered for classes late). So if I don't have a lot of time to waste writing LONG aimless posts what will I do?

WON'T/CAN'T/SHOULDN'T DO.......

- Food. Posting vegan recipes is a joke when so many others do it and do it 100x better then I could. I love to cook but I don't do it all that often and feel like a dork when I take pictures of food.

-Restaurants. Would love to just review vegan food at restaurants but once again my dislike (or is it just inability?) of food photography rules this out.

-Veganism. Could post links about veganism but I'm really just a fake vegan who eats honey and wears thrift store wool sweaters. I do think feeding ducks until they nearly explode so they get fatty livers is mean but I think genocide and rape in refuge camps is meaner. So....I'll leave awareness outreach to others.

So.....hmmm.....what do I care about? What am I good at? Possibilities:

*I am going to be a librarian one day (and on that day I'll be 30,000 dollars in debt) so posting resources and/or links actually really appeals to me. But to what????

*I love health related issues - like ways to prevent type 2 diabetes (healthy diet, exercise, and over 6 hours of sleep a night), pointing out that there may be some value to processed foods (processed tomatoes may have higher lycopene bioavailability), or letting people know that calcium can decrease severity of menstrual cramps. ** just remember that 1 cup cooked collard greens has more calcium then 1 cup nonfat milk (as compared by the USDA)**

*I love cultural events. One day I hope to love Boston. I'll combine the two and review/advertise local happenings.

*I worry about social justice and hope to be a part of the solution, not just a whiner. I can also push causes I deem worthy.

I think I'll do a combo of posting/pushing/informing "you" about the three.

Alright - new blog mission statement

"blah, blah, blah" (work in progress)

How to know what is what.....LABELS!

Editorial: a post labeled editorial will be my witty, ingenius, fantastic views on some issue

Review: a post labeled review will be my witty, ingenius, fantastic views on an event or product

Health: a post labeled health will be a link or reference (that my witty, ingenius, fantastic self has selected) to an issue pertaining to diet or exercise

Plug: a post labeled plug will be my witty, ingenius, fantastic way of trying to advertise a worthwhile cause, event, or pressing issue

Bye-bye Bill - the other one

2008-01-10T12:02:00.001-02:00

Looks like New Mexico governor Bill Richardson will be dropping out of contention for president.
I personally am bummed about it. I think he was/is the most accomplished and capable of all the contenders - and Hispanic to boot. woohooo!
I, unfortunately, don't get to vote in a primary or caucus - which almost makes me wish I lived in Iowa - but I can't say that I know who I would vote for if I did.
I did get back to the U.S. just in time to hear about Hillary crying and that Oprah had selected Barack for her book club....I mean president. With all respect to Edwards it loooks like the race is between two senators that didn't really impress me as senators. Looks like in November I'll be voting for a female Clinton who knows all about villages and Republican conspiracies or a pseudo-rockstar that gets all the single women swooning. I am not quite sure who I choose.
The pundits tell me Hillary pulls in the vote for those that make less then 50,000 (ME!) and Barack for those that are considered highly educated (ME! - if I say so myself). Left me kinda liking Bill (not to be confused with Clinton).
Whoever I end up voting for, I'm just glad we have a political process that requires GADS of cash, celebrity endorsements, and good hair.

Things to do in Boston

2008-01-09T10:47:00.000-02:00

Get First Aid/CPR certified
Yesterday I spent the day at the RedCross in Cambridge receiving my Adult First Aid/CPR & AED certification. It was $75 for both certifications. Most participants were there for their jobs, just one other man and I were there to get the skills in case of an emergency. I am so glad I spent the money and time to do so. None of the skills I learned are "common sense". Last January a fellow coworker told me about a man that chocked to death on a piece of steak at a holiday party. At that time I would have had NO CLUE what to do, now I have a much better idea. I thought the program was very well organized, informative, and extremely beneficial. I highly recommend making the investment.

Run (very walkable city translates to very runnable city....dependent on temperatures)
I ran yesterday morning as well, for the first time in almost two weeks. It was nearly 50 degrees when I ran so I can't say it required a whole lot of motivation but I am glad that I did. I just ran straight down Commonwealth Ave (a.k.a. comm ave) so it wasn't adventurous but a paltry 32 minutes was still a challenge. I was cursed out by an aggressive cyclist and considered removing my name from the bike lane petition but decided to let this one slide. It rains today and gets progressively colder. Lets see if I continue to run. I stopped by a nearby gym to get some price information - $149 down, $79 a month. Whoa! At those prices I don't want to belong to a gym. But how else will I do cardio when it snows or lift weights? Ugh.

Support homeless empowerment
I recently bought a Spare Change News for $1. There is a similar paper available in DC. Their mission is "to present by our own example, that homeless and economically disadvantaged people, with proper resources, empowerment, opportunity, and encouragement are capable of creating change for ourselves in society." Who doesn't support that???? Make sure to buy the papers from vendors that wear an organge 2008 badge. Also, on January 17th, 2008 there will bea holiday benefit show "Winter's Concert" at Paradise Lounge at 8pm. Four artists will be performing: Destroy Babylon, Worlds Collide, Justin Shorey, and black button. I know nothing about any of the artists and am pretty sure they weren't chosen for their skill but for their willingness to help put. Regardless, I am going to set aside the 10 dollars and go. My lil cuz is flying in that day but I still have time to stop by for a little. I am all about empowerment - and this paper gives homeless a forum to write, publish, and distribute their issues and concerns.

Read about Mitt Romney
The papers in this city definitely cover their former governor far more then anywhere else. I'm actually impressed with Boston's political coverage. It doesn't rival DC's (for obvious reasons) but it far surpasses Southern California's. There is none of the political apathy or insanity found in my previous locales (as a gross overgeneralization). I am not sure who I want to win the Democratic nomination but I love all the interest in the political process.

First Boston Weekend

2008-01-07T10:23:00.000-02:00

I'm in Boston. because I live here. Permanently. Hmm.....
I always forget how disorienting moving to a new place can be. Luckily, whenever I move, I am always able to piece together a haphazard network to get me started. Here in Boston I have my exboyfriend - who helped me unpack, navigate the T (NOT metro), and took me on a date to the Hayden Planetarium, the movie Juno, and Veggie Planet; there is my mom's best friend and fellow ex-pat who I call "tia" in the Brasilian style - she has invited me to dinner, offered suggestions on local gyms and looked into why I got no response on a resume I put in at BU (they hired internally); there is my uncle and cousin just 30 minutes away that I hope to see soon; and a friend I met in Brasil a few years ago - she was the first vegan I ever knew. So with my ragtag group of supporters I am not alone. But being alone or with friends isn't what makes being in a new place hard for me - it is finding my niche.
Sometimes the transition can be difficult. I have found that I don't do being cold so well, or unpacking (hence all the boxes still on the floor), or working out (it has officially been a week since I've done any exercise). The first two days here I wasn't liking my decision - I would almost be done with my degree if I stayed at CUA (nevermind the fact the program had almost nothing in my field of interest), DC is familiar and loaded with friends (nevermind that there were few Brasilians and opportunities to speak portugues), DC was warmer (nevermind the oppressively suffocating summers). I was wallowing a bit.
But a few adventures have brought me around. Going to my interview on Friday I got lost by taking the wrong bus. Now - how I can navigate Sao Paulo, a megacity of about 20 million, or NYC, a city of about 8 million, or even the comparably sized DC, of about 1/2 a million, without getting lost I don't quite understand. But I did - I took the 57 bus instead of the 66. The bus driver made my day though - he gave me all sorts of advice and tips and had a whole conversation with me about how it is supposed to warm up this week (in order to cheer me up a little). He was right - 42 degrees feels like a heat wave, honestly!
And then there was the interview itself (I made sure to call and say I was going to be late). The organization really seems amazing and I couldn't be more excited about the possibility of working there. "The mission of Summer Search is to find resilient, low-income high school students and inspire them to become responsible altruistic leaders by providing year-round mentoring, life changing summer experiences, college advising, and a lasting support network." Ummm....yeah! Sounds good to me. I have my second interview today and am hoping for the best.
I'm a little disappointed in Boston's vegan restaurant scene (I've been grossly spoiled by NYC). There is no Veg-Out Boston. There is for Chicago, Washington DC, San Francisco, Seattle and Portland, Denver and Salt Lake City - but not Boston. This doesn't bode well for my new city. So far I've eaten at TJ Scallywaggle's, Grasshopper (don't recommend the vegan cheesecake - the canned fruit topping is depressing and the texture is grainy, but all other food a go), My Thai Cafe and Bubble Tea (get the vegan cheesecake here instead), and Veggie Planet.
I really want to like TJ's food but I've eaten there twice.....and.....don't. I just don't think it is good food. The vegan cheese doesn't melt and ends up in chunky flavorless pieces. The bread and meat for the chikhin cheez sub was dry. The garlic bread was really bad - image taking a burnt piece of toast and dumping garlic powder on it, with little or no vegan margarine. It isn't pretty (I didn't take pics to avoid embarrasing them). But you know what - I'm going to keep giving them my money (I mean they are like a 5 minute walk from my house). I just really appreciate their role as a vegan community resource center. I support their petition to get bike lanes in Boston, I like their library (obviously) and that they make veg magazines available for reading, I like that they have a stated mission of building a progressive community. I've had the calzone, chikhin cheez sub, and garlic bread and not been a fan - but what do I know. Lots of people love their food so take my review with a grain of salt.
But my new favorite restaurant on the PLANET is VeggiePlanet. Their brunch was amazing and their business model is inspirational (they state 70% of their ingredients are local and they earmark profits for combating homelessness in Cambridge). They aren't quite as close to my house but worth the hike. I ordered the vegan oddlot on the pizza dough - the olives, spinach, garlic, and tofu-basil mash on that whole wheat thin crust - delicious! I handed the waiter my empty plate and said - yeah, obviously not that good. He replied, with concern, "oh - what did you have?" It took him a moment to realize I actually loved it and that is why I ate everything. I wish I had taken a picture but I was so hungry I couldn't wait. I don't recommend going hungry, especially during brunch - things move at a leisurely pace. Next time I am getting vegan waffles.
If you are ever visiting Boston, or live here, I highly recommend Hayden Planetarium at the Museum of Science. I went and saw the "Night Sky" program. Darryl, our "tour guide", was animated and passionate about teaching us how to look at the sky on our own. He showed us our very own urban sky here in Boston and convinced us (or me at least) that I can go out at 6pm, or 9pm, or 11pm, and see a variety of different constellations - even Mars! If you go on Friday night at 7pm admission is reduced to $6.50 (normally $9). Either price point is well worth it - and it is a great date idea.
To round out my conversion to liking Boston was my attendance at St. Anthony's on Sunday. The mass was in Brasilian Portuguese - and the church is just a mile walk from my house. It was a beautiful mass and (unlike when I was in Brasil) I loved that I didn't quite understand everything. My fluency has a long way to go but it isn't going anywhere if I don't practice.

On the Horizon -
There are other reasons right around the corner to increase my love of this newly adopted city. Frances Moore Lappe will be at Brookline Booksmith on January 21st (she wrote Diet for a Small Planet - a sacred text for all those who eat with purpose) and the Cure will be at Agganis Arena on May 12th (I LOVE the Cure). I'm sure more will appear daily and I'll keep you all posted.

Where in the world is Melissa?

2008-01-04T11:09:00.000-02:00

Growing up I loved that computer game ~Where in the World is Carmen SanDiego~ and now I feel a little like her. One week ago I was landing on a flight that originated in Sao Paulo, Brasil. I spent three days in New York, caught a bus to Washington DC where I had a fantastic New Years Eve and tried to fit in quality time with as many friends as possible and yesterday I drove up a PACKED minivan to begin my new life in Boston. If you ever drive from DC to Boston here are my tips:

- I made one stop for gas, in New Jersey, and I'm glad it was there. It is mandatory full service (so I didn't have to stand outside) and gas was $2.88 a gallon, compared to $3.25 in NY or CT.

- When you get to the George Washington Bridge take the LOWER route (Local). I took the Upper route (express) and am still bitter about it. All trucks have to take the upper route so the traffic is much more congested (but you don't know that until after you make your choice). And once you select upper there is no switching over, unlike the lower route. If this makes no sense - that is okay - all you have to know is LOWER.

- Carry small bills and coins. I went through 8 tolls ranging from $1.25 to $6.45 for a total of $26.45. I had exact change each time so it went a little quicker. (sidenote - each and every tollbooth worker, in the freezing cold, was incredibly kind....smiling, saying hello, wishing me a great day - it was almost a pleasure to give them my few precious dollars)

- The trip isn't that long, just about 8 hours, so I brought along three sandwhiches I bought at StickyFingers Vegan Bakery ($16.34) and a bag of Tings from the supermarket ($2 - on sale). It was more food then I ate (except the fact that I almost ate a whole bag of Tings for about 800 calories, ugh). Take along food, don't waste money or calories on junk food.

- Watch out in Massachusetts. That is the state that easily had the most state troopers with radar guns just waiting to pounce.

All this travel comes at a cost. I haven't worked for 4 months, I just spent 600 to move my stuff (rental car, gas, tolls, snacks), and I've spent a huge amount of money on clothes and food this past week. I have a job interview today - lets hope I get it. I'm sick (and uninsured for the first time in my life - with any luck the wind chill out there doesn't knock me over and break my leg). And I feel discombulated - I haven't worked out since Monday (I was on such a roll), my new house just isn't my old house, and despite warnings of chilly temps I had no recollection of what 11 degrees actually felt like (it is cold). When I was in DC I didn't feel like I had a place there anymore, but I don't a place here either. No worries, I know this feeling well (3 states in the past 5 years). I adjusted really quickly to DC, I expect the same will happen here.

I plan on keeping busy. Looking for a job (and hopefully getting one) will occupy lots of time. I'm going to join the Boston Vegan Association (I've already linked up on facebook). They seem pretty active - I just wonder if a human rights activist can fit in with animal rights activists. I've already joined the Michigan State Alumni Association and hope to watch the basketball game Saturday night. I need to find a gym. I ran outside during the winter in DC but it must be at least 20 degrees colder here. I couldn't walk across a grocery store parking lot last night, I just don't know if I can run. I will say that I did see several "natives" yesterday with no jackets, hats, gloves, or scarfs - I can only hope that one day I too have lost my ability to feel as well. I saw the ex-boyfriend last night. That is complicated. I just think I don't want a boyfriend, even the old one. There is too much I want to do (including starting up a organic farm based on permaculture with a group of friends in DC). I feel selfish. I don't want to divide my time with a boy. I like feeling that way.

Okay. Off to prepare for the interview and unpack a little. I have really good feelings about 2008 and now that I am in one place I hopefully can start getting a handle on this new year and all my many resolutions.

(this is before, it may take a while before I post an after picture. teehee)

NYC wrap-up

2007-12-31T11:36:00.000-02:00

I've got just about 50 minutes until I have to try and coerce my unwiedly bags through the front door and out on the street in order to hail a cab to the bus stop. If only I could take a photo of this endeavor. Often times I enjoy being alone (a way in which I am NOT Brasilian) - I go where I want, when I want; I see the movies I like; I eat where I want to eat; I buy the groceries I like; I don't have to worry about awkward lulls in conversation. But mornings like this, with two large suitcases - one with a broken handle, a backback that weights 30 lbs, a shoulder bag, and a purse.....a little help never hurts. Oh well, I'll make it there, red-faced and sweaty, and feel all the more independent for it (solo drive from DC to Boston will fall into this category as well).

I landed in NYC on Friday morning at 6am and have been here for just about 72 hours. In that time I have been the quinessential consumer. I bought a Lara Miller sweater (100% Bamboo, made in Chicago) at Kaight. I bought Toe Warmers "On The Go" snow boots (materials unknown, made in Canada), The 2008 Vegan Guide to NYC, and the Delancey Cleo Ro0s purse (materials and site of fabrication unknown) at Mooshoes. I bought a She-Bible dress (poly/cotton/viscose blend, made in San Fransciso) at Sodafine. **Sidenote - I've heard lots about how hip Williamsburg, Brooklyn is - and it is, a veritable vegan paradise** I also made some purchases at the Whole Foods in Bowery (huge, amazing). I bought Maggies Organic Brown textured tights (100% cotton, made in Peru), derma-e's vegetarian gel moisturizer (my dermatologist told me that cream based moisturizers keep pores open), and a Livity Rip-Tide winter vest that was half off (55% Hemp, 45% P.E.T, made in China)

I also ate, lots. I had a very peaceful diner at TienGarden for $20 with tip. With vegan guide in hand I couldn't resist hitting up more vegan restaurants. I tried out Foodswings (8 pc chicken nuggets, mac-n-cheese, pb chocolate moonpie), Caravan of Dreams (miso soup, salad, and mediterranean brunch), and Liquiteria (white bean and escarole soup, pumpkin spice bread, jumbo tofu dog with mustard). I struggled with what to order at Foodswings and Caravan. I was tempted to order nachos - my unsophisticated palates favorite. I resisted, just to be disappointed. At Foodswings I got greasy nuggets, mac-n-cheese that can't compare to Soul Veg, and a dry moonpie (I did eat all the pb frosting). At Caravans the small house salad that came with the entree was superb (usually I don't like salad but the greens were fresh, the tomatoes tasted good, and the dressing was lemony and crisp). The miso soup was sweet, in an off-putting way (much like the Australian sitting next to me in a REAL rabbit fur vest) and the brunch was okay for a grand total of $23. I revisited Atlas cafe where I specifically asked what peanut butter desserts they had - again, my poor beloved pb was only sold with overbearing chocolate in a brownie form. I couldn't even taste the peanut butter. When will people learn that peanut butter is a magnificent substance all on its own. I ended the night at Liquiteria where all the food was great, and it was my cheapest meal at under $12. I really loved the tofu dog and grainy mustard.

For culture I visited the New York Historical Society Museum. The exhibit on 9/11 was breathtaking. The staff was friendly, the exhibits well organized, the information digestable. I loved it. I also watched Persepolis - a WONDERFULLY animated film about a young girl growing up in Iran during the Islamic Revolution. I thought it was wickedly (Bostonian term) clever and brilliantly illustrated. The grandma's insight into men is priceless. I'll paraphrase...
"You'll meet a lot of jerks that will hurt you. If they do, it is because they are stupid. Forgive them and don't be bitter or resentful as a result". Isn't that genius!?!

NYC was just what I needed. Now I'm ready for a rockin' New Years Eve house crawl and a new Boston life.

I heart NEW YORK CITY

2007-12-30T15:39:00.000-02:00

Boy-o-boy, girl-o-girl (for equalities sake) I LOVE this city. What a bummer that I left my camera cord in Brasil. The parents will be bringing it to me. I've been taking pics to add at a later date.

Why do I love NYC??? Well....let me break it down into a list

1. Public transportation rocks. I never wait more then 5 minutes for a bus and it runs all the time. Sometimes the bus drivers are even friendly. Imagine!

2. There are so many vegan restaurants. I went to a nonvegan restaurant yesterday and asked if they had vegan items. She pointed out a few, I ordered three. Got home, took a bite, one had tuna in the middle. Tuna is not vegan. I didn't swallow, nor did I cry or throw up. But that is just one more example of why I prefer strictly vegan restaurants - which is NO problem here.

3. (Related to #2). There are so many vegan restaurants here they have a book The Vegan Guide to New York City. All are vegetarian and about half are vegan. I've been to 7 of the top 20 favorites. I'm going to eat at Caravan Dream for brunch today.

4. No matter what color, creed, race, or religion you never stick out in this town. I love that. I hate how accents, skin tones, and religious beliefs easily mark one as an outsider in suburbia. Not so in NYC. Love this town.

5. I love that I can find mass at any time, any place, any day. I went to mass this morning at one of my favorites - St. Agnes on East 43rd. They cater to a pretty diverse crowd, the exterior of the church is extremely simple, and they have confession constantly. As a side note, it was nice to go to mass in English. In Boston I will be attending St. Anthony's, which has mass in Brasilian Portugues and I am so excited. That said - it was nice to know all the prayers and understand 100% of the homily, even if just for one Sunday.

6. Some of my favorite stores are here. Like....soda fine. I went there yesterday. The sales clerk was SUPER sweet, she even gave me a free vegan lip gloss (they had received them as a promo for loyale clothing). It isn't strictly vegan but they have local designers (I'm really getting into that), vintage, and eco friendly options. I bought the cutest dress. I wanted to buy two but wasn't looking to spend 400 dollars. Geez, it sure is easy to be a consumer.

7. My parents live here. They are still in Brasil right now, so I have the place to myself (and I like it) but it is even better when they are here.

8. SO many movie theaters. I am going to Persepolis at the Angelika just as soon as I am finished with this post. And then maybe later on today I'll go see Juno, or Charlie Wilson's War, or Michael Clayton. I love movies - and this city caters to my addiction.

9. The museums aren't free like DC but they are great. I went to the New York Historical Society yesterday and loved their exhibition on 9/11 and Lafayette.

10. There is alwasy something to do. Alone. I never feel like a freak for being a singleton in NYC.

I LOVE NYC!

First Day Back in US of A

2007-12-28T23:57:00.000-02:00

Let me begin by saying I forgot my camera cord so I can't upload any pictures. Boohoo.

My first day back in the US, and NYC nonetheless, has been fantastic, thrilling, and tiring. I don't feel sad or lonely....yet. Yesterday when I said my goodbyes I only cried when it came to my grandmother. It was/is so hard to leave her. But for the most part I'm used to saying goodbye (9 apartments in 7 years, over 4 states) and like to be on my own. That has changed a little after Brasil, and I think I may be ready to settle down for just a tad.

First let me tell you that flying out of Brasil was an adventure. I got my two cans of soy condensed milk confiscated at security, had my bag searched as I was entering the plane, and then every single person was "wanded down" entering the plane. WHAT?!? I don't go through that much security in terrorist fearing America, so it was a suprise in beach loving Brasil. Just a warning, don't underestimate security in Brasil. They enforce liquid limits and search you thoroughly.

I arrived at 6am, a little early actually. My 2nd bag was one of the last ones to be unloaded and one of the handles broke on my rolly bag. This is a recurring curse in my life that has happened with other bags, anyway....as a result I had to pay the highway extortion of 3 dollars for a cart to lug my luggage around. I took a cab and the process of reintegration began.

Being in NYC energized me and I was ready to hit the town. I got to my parents apartment in midtown Manhattan by 7:30am. I love this place - from the way it smells to the location. They have lived here under 3 years and it feels like home. I sent some emails, took some calls, opened some AWESOME xmas presents from my parents (between being with family for xmas and the presents I got this has been the best xmas ever). I went to Health Nuts on 2nd avenue - a little deli/vitamin store that I love. I often stock up on essentials there. I bought rice milk for 2.69 there and it sells for 4.99 at Gristedes. Anyway....I decided to start the first day of my vegan diet. I don't think I am fat, I am just fat for me. Meaning - I am carrying more weight then my body needs. So I decided to shop appropriately. I can't cook at my parents place, VERY limited equipment, so I bought premade items. For breakfast I had a plain soy yogurt with 2 tbsps of flax seed, a few slices of cantelope, and a eggless egg salad sandwhich. It was very good! I thought I would hit the streets but ending up falling asleep watching a Dr. Bronner documentary.

When I woke up at 3pm I had 3 phone messages from 3 of my favorite people. I ate lunch - vegan chick patties, a banana, and rice milk (oh how I have missed rice milk). And then I got the M15 bus to go shopping at Mooshoes and Kaight. Here is the funny thing about my reintegration - in Brasil I border on anti-social and unfriendly. Here, by saying please and thankyou, asking questions, and saying hello in the elevator I border on mentally ill. I love NYC but it isn't a very friendly town. Kaight was nice - there was one sales clerk and she was pretty friendly. I did buy one sweater there. Mooshoes across the street, at a new chic location, was a different story. They had 3 sales clerks that talked to eachother about an inflatable bed for a cat and were aloof (at best). I was prepared to buy multiple pairs of shoes but the help was so indifferent I only bought a purse and snowboots. I made a comment at one point about how great the purses are and she just looked at me and walked away. Wow. I felt like a dweeb. The help got me my shoes and rung me up without a wait, but.....there weren't pleasant and only said hi to people they knew. Indifference and attitude is an art here that Brasil has completely stripped away from me, and I don't know that I want it back.

On the way home I couldn't find my metrocard, but I had two dollars for the bus. When I boarded I saw they only took coins so I got back off. I walked a block, rummaging through my purse, and found my metrocard so I ran to catch up to the same bus. I then discovered the card had no money on it - and by this point the bus driver was highly annoyed with me. Luckily I was on Allen Street close to the vegan restaurant Tiengarden. It was early, around 5pm, but I decided to stop in for a snack. The waitress was so nice, and the atmosphere so relaxing, I had a meal WITH dessert (the diet will recommence tomorrow). I ordered the soup of the day - Kale, Potato, Carrot - and a side of pan fried sticky buns with soy mixture. The soup wasn't that flavorful and the buns were a little greasy but I LOVE the place (I ate there when I visited the old Mooshoes location - where the help was equally unhelpful). I ordered the pumpkin pie (I missed out on turkey day) for there and red bean sticky buns to go (I ended up eating one even though I bought them for the next day). The pie had a great texture but lacked something in terms of the seasoning. But who cares - I LOVE Tiengarden. LOVE IT! Being in Brasil taught me that I value how people treat me and I would rather feel warm and welcome with okay food then rushed and ignored with fantastic products.

The SUPER waitress gave me change in coins for 2 dollars and I caught the bus home. Before I did I stopped at the Bluestockings Bookstore, a fair trade cafe and activist center, and bought 4 posters about "People's History". I love NYC. I took the bus most of the way home but got out at 34th and 2nd to stop at a little bar that was playing the MSU football game. We lost. Boohoo. I may be a liberal hippie but I love my church and I love my football. How I speak English and my love of Michigan State sports may just be the most American things about me.

There are only little adjustments that need to be made. I have almost asked questions in portugues several times, I am not quite used to this keyboard yet, and I nearly threw my toilet paper in the trashcan several times. I find that I don't feel so cold and actually think I am cute in a hat, scarf, and gloves. My friends and loved ones continue to warn me about the Boston cold but instead of being annoyed I appreciate their loving concern. Overall I am happy to be here and ready for the next phase in my life. The blog will be pictureless for a while but I will try to do the city of New York justice in the meantime.

List-o-Mania: Best-o-Brasil

2007-12-25T22:12:00.001-02:00

I love lists. I made a list of people I had to buy presents for, I have a list of my 30some New Years resolutions, I just put a list of all the environmental friendly/vegan stores I want to visit in New York. In order to do homage to my love of lists I think my next few posts will be list based.

What have I loved MOST about Brasil????

-That I was the first vegan that most of my family had EVER met and they were very inquisitive and supportive. AND that last night my vegan Mandioca/Orange bundt cake and vegan brownies were a HIT. The brownies more so....but the poor mandioca couldn´t really compete with gooey yummy chocolate/peanut "butter" concotion(paçoca isn´t peanut butter but there is no other comparable food item). I actually prefered the mandioca but I´ve also made these brownies a good 6 or 7 times so their novelty has worn off. I´ve had many requests for the recipe. Winning people over to the cause one vegan brownie at a time.

- That I saw my grandmother every week. That yesterday I woke up worked out with my parents, ate lunch with family, visited my cousin and her beautiful two month old son, and then went to a christmas party with about 20 family members. I LOVE family. The hardest part about leaving Brasil is leaving them.
- That for the first time in my life I feel Brasilian. Not 100% and I don´t feel any less American. I just feel a connection to the place I was born and where all my maternal family resides. (I´ll be posting a list of all the ways I think I am/am not Brasilian).
- That I took português classes, improved my language skills, and met some incredible people.
- That I was able to find something in common with my biological father and find a place where I am 100% comfortable with him - cooking vegan food in the kitchen.
- That my parents and brother are here right now. I have my ups and downs with my brother but he is really just such an amazing, funny, skinny (lucky him) person. And my parents....well....I just about think they could walk on water.
- That living here, learning português, getting to know my family has been a dream I´ve had for a long time and I was almost ready to relinquish that dream (I mean, I am 28 1/2 - old, old, old). There is something about making this dream come true that has completed something within me.
- That I met some amazing, resilient, loving kids during my time volunteering. That I worked with generous, tireless adults that give and give somemore. I did very little for them and received so much in return.

- That my cousin Sylvinha and her girlfriend Vanessa are friends AND family. Getting to know them has been such a pleasure. Syl is HILARIOUS and Vanessa is so supportive and sweet.
- That I didn´t have to work.
- That I worked out 2 hours per day (and only lost 1 kilo - you can´t even imagine how much I eat here).
- That I got to eat paçoca daily. Daily. sometimes hourly.

I Love Halawa (a.k.a halva)

2007-12-22T18:02:00.000-02:00

There is large population of Lebanese descendents (also referred to as Syrio-Lebanese) in Brasil (along with Italian, German, and Japanese). I found this scholarly paper on line if you would like to know more. It is their influence that has made things like kibe and halawa common everyday items here (this is my own unscientific deduction).

I love just about everything with sesame. I´ve always prefered sesame bagels. I love hummus, made with tahini. If that isn´t proof enough (teehee) I have just fallen in love with halawa. Halawa is a sesame and sugar confection. Yummy. I had it for the first time today and am blogging just to try to keep from eating it all. Why more vegan blogs aren´t posting recipes for halawa I´ll never understand (instead many seem to be hooked on some "no chicken with dumpling" recipe from Veganomicon). I did find a recipe but I have yet to try it.

This will be yet another reason why I don´t lose weight (paçoca being the other reason). UGH!!!!

Partial Salvation and Repost

2007-12-22T17:50:00.000-02:00

My pops saves the day - once again. He read my post and cut and paste the part he wanted to share with my mom. My mom doesn´t read my blog because she worries too much (in my opinion) and gets triggered very easily. But make no mistake about it - she is the best mom around. They don´t get any smarter, supportive, sophisticated or prettier. She is the epitomy of class. And they will be here tomorrow - God willing (a very common phrase here Brasil that I love). Anyway.....here is a repost of part of my blog from yesterday.

I´ll be back in the U.S. in less then a week. Whoa. I can´t believe how quickly the past four months have passed. I have learned about the identify of my family, a culture of a country, a dynamic of a continent, and more importantly I have found an important part of myself - so closely tied to the above mentioned factors. I am an American, born in a foreign country with a foreign mother and a love for both that I can´t begin to put into words. For the very first time in my life - with all my eccentricities (liberal Catholic, indifferent animal-rights vegan, sister with not one functioning sibling relationship, singleton totally hung up on the ex) - I feel part Brasilian. And not just because I like samba and black beans (without rendered bacon fat) but because I´ve learned just a little what it means to be Brasilian.

And what does it mean???? Well, that is a complex sociological question with all the standard dangers of gross over generalizations. But in its simplest form I think it means being a part of a culture that truly values interpersonal relationships, family ties, and enjoying life. It means not being very nationalistic/patriotic except when it comes to soccer, complaining constantly about politicians, traffic, poverty but not doing much about it. For the most part Brasilians truly seem to be able to the beauty in everyone, despite the insanity of what they do to be beautiful (waxing, bleeding manicures/pedicures, hair straightening for straight hair, plastic surgery, constant dieting). It is a culture that is incredibly friendly and trusts almost no one. It´s a culture that doesn´t blink twice at effusive compliments and self promotion but at the same time has a low tolerance for egoism. It is a damaged society with tremendous inequality and corruption, a crappy education system, and a inefficient government. It is a fantastic place to visit, live, learn and grow. I`ve loved every moment here - the sad, frustrating, joyful, and rainy.

What have I gained/learnt/discovered? (some unrelated to Brasil, perse, but realized while living here)
- I don´t live in a favela because I wasn´t born in a favela. I am no smarter, prettier, or better. And as such I`ll express my gratitude for my many blessings by serving those born in different circumstances.
- I am positive homosexuality isn´t wrong. I know it is against the teachings of a religion I believe very firmly in but I don´t. I´ve become very close to my cousin Sylvinha and her girlfriend Vanessa. The simplicity and integrity of their relationship is just one more example of how God works, in my opinion.
- I don´t want a maid. Ever. God bless Maria and all the best to her. But....no.
- Even if I work out two hours a day I can´t eat whatever I want. I have been working out that much and have gained weight. Don´t give me that crap about muscle mass, blah, blah. Eat three paçocas (peanut dessert) a day and you don´t lose weight.
- If I don´t know something ask, if something isn´t right, if I´m lost= ASK! ask. ask. ask. ask. doesn´t matter which language - all that matters is not being embarrased to ask for help.
- If I want want to know if someone thinks I am pretty or my new dress is cute = ASK! Brasilians are great about this, they keep asking until they feel sure.
- Vegans are hilarious. I´m up to about 25 vegan blogs and a good portion crack me up. They have a great self depreciating saracastic humor. I hope to get around to posting all the blogs I follow before I leave.
- Don´t be afraid of conflict. Just have the guts to work it out. Not always easy, pretty, or clean - but definitely worthwhile. and a definite must for being around family.
- Patience and compassion. I had never quite experienced anything like the feeling of not being able to express myself fluently. It requires a lot of patience with oneself and others. And it´s a great reminder to be compassionate for those in similar circumstances.
- Everything happens exactly as it is supposed to. Good, bad, ugly, indifferent. I do the best I can at each and every moment. If I had more to give I would. As always, and forever, I just keep learning to love what is.

Where did it go???

2007-12-21T23:36:00.000-02:00

My dashboard shows that I posted on December 21st - my rockin´cuz Sylvinha even posted a comment. I was doing some edits, the computer died, and now it is gone.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH............
This is at least the 5th time this has happened to me while I´ve been in Brasil.
Recap:
Brasil rocks. Learned lots. Like being vegan. Love what is (hint to self).

Family filled post + odds n ends

2007-12-18T13:03:00.000-02:00

I have 9 days until I leave Brasil. I am in no way excited about it - it is just a fact. So how am I spending my last few days? With familiy! I have made some cool friends here but I find myself just wanting to be with my grandma and cousins.

Saturday = The cousins and I went to Estação da Luz, a fantastic train station. Situated besides the train station is the super duper Museu da Lingua Portuguesa. And Saturday´s are free admission. Now....if you don´t speak Portuguese I´m not sure how much of the museum you will enjoy. There is currently a Gilberto Freyre exhibit - he was a FAMOUS and prolific Brasilian sociologist that looked at issues of race and class in society. The exhibit is incredibly artistic and creative but lacked a sense of context and continuity, for me at least. The lower levels had an informative timeline in the formation of Portuguese - throughout Europe, Brasil, and Africa. Additionally there was a 10 minute video and spoken word presentation. I´ve been remiss in partaking of the incredible cultural attractions here in São Paulo - I wouldn´t call it a regret just a lesson to learn from.
Sunday = Grandma turned 85. She insisted on a pizza party at Sta. Marcelina´s, isn´t she the coolest? I will never get used to the Brasilian custom of paying for the people who attend your birthday party. It is so odd to me. Anyway - the party was small, you know....just 16 of us - but tons of fun. I ordered the vegetarian pizza without cheese and I am happy to report that it was more popular then the Portuguesa - which comes with mozzarela, ham, eggs, etc. I actually liked Sta. Marcelina pizza better then fancy pancy Leona´s (though the price was about the same).
Monday = Lunch and nap at grandma´s. I finished wrapping all the christmas gifts she is giving to people. She is giving gifts to my aunt´s maid (my grandma is SO cool that she doesn´t have a maid - she does everything for herself), to the lady that does her manicure, to the maids kids (don´t ask me why), to the doormen, to every family member, etc, etc. Brasilians buy presents for everyone. I honestly feel like I have to buy presents for my pilates instructor, the nice staff at the gym where I work out, the taxi driver I always use, the list goes on. I don´t know that I will - but I feel compelled. Anyway, I spent the day with her and it rocked.

Some observations:

- Traffic here is truly horrible, like LA horrible, but there is much less road rage. I had noticed this in my many cab trips and it was reinforced today. I almost got run over by a car in the crosswalk and started swearing in English.....and the people around me were astounded by how angry I was.

- If one more person tells me how cold it is in Boston I will scream. I KNOW!!!! Boston is cold. Super cold. Colder then sticking my head in the freezer and leaving it there for an indeterminate amount of time. Got it. Here goes the power of positive thought...I love snow, I love the cold. (never mind the fact that at the museum I was shivering when the air conditioning was on). I will keep repeating this to myself.

- Between making brownies (endlessly) and banana bread (and awesome ppk recipe that I used coconut milk for) I am now considered a chef. The risotto nightmare has been forgotten, or at least forgiven.

Grandma´s birthday and addictions

2007-12-16T10:45:00.000-02:00

Today is my grandmother´s birthday - she is 85. This is the first time I will be celebrating her birhtday with her since I was 7 months old. AND in exactly one week my parents will be here. I haven´t seen them in FOUR months. I haven´t gone this long without seeing them in over 10 years. I only get four days with them but I´m going to make the most of it. I am truly sad about saying goodbye but I am excited to go mass in English, about my job interview on the 4th, about my first party in my new apartment MLKJr. weekend, and about getting around a town that is a little more manageable.

I haven´t been up to much. To clear up any confusion I did purchase the Earth Lodge boots. I´ll need them since Boston occasionally gets like a foot of snow. Crazy. Mooshoes has some other snowboots I am interested in but I will wait until I get to NYC to try those on and buy them. The folks told me yesterday that my financial aid has gone through and I have a fancy pancy debt riddled check waiting for me. Woohoo!

I have been baking brownies (over, and over, and over) and I did make the mandioca bread. I love making bread - I love kneading, I love yeast, I love the rising, I love the mess, I love the taste. I love it all. When I grated the mandioca I was struck by how much it looked like mozzarella. The bread came out beautifully, the recipe called for a bread pan but my kitchen equipment is very limited at my aunt´s house. I like the texture of the bread, it reminds me of foccacia. The thing is that mandioca really has no flavor so it requires a lot of seasoning - much more then my recipe called for. The maid thinks it needs more salt - but Brasilians are a tad insane about salt, and sugar (beware traveling diabetics and those with high blood pressure). I think it needs herbs - like rosemary.
So the recipe: 3 cups of flour
1 tablespoon of yeast
2 cups of raw grated mandioca
1 tsp. of salt
1 cup of warm water

I proofed the yeast in the warm water for 10 minutes - BUT - the recipe doesn´t call for this. Mix together the flour, salt, mandioca, and yeast/water. Knead the dough until soft and stretchy, a minimum of 10 minutes. Make sure to add flour to table and hands and dough as needed, to avoid sticking to the surface. Put the dough in a pan, well covered, for 2 hours or until doubled in size. I lightly oil the dough and cover with a towel. Divide the dough in half and place in two oiled loaf pans. I used only one pan (the type name escapes me right now - it has a hole in the center, kind of like a bundt pan without the ridges). Bake for 30 minutes in a medium heat oven. None of the recipes in this book have pictures OR temperatures. Crazy. Remove the dough from the oven and place on cooling rack. I used the knock test to check for doughness - when you knock on the bread it should sound hollow. I highly recommend seasoning with herbs of your choice.

I have developed two addictions while living her in Brasil. I´ve been working out tons - I think I have reached the stage of addiction. I am already thinking about where I will work out when I visit DC. I run three times a week - from 35 to 45 minutes. I aim for 8.5 kilometers - which is about 5 miles. I do intervals ranging from 10.0 km/h (5.8 mph) to 12.0 km/h (7 mph). It is amazing how the body rapidly adjusts to speed. I feel very fit and I love workingout. I should since I do it at least two hours a day, 5 days a week. Besides running, I take pilates, a trampoline jump class, stretch class, and fitball - ALL twice a week. And I´ve lost one kilo (2.2 lbs). That´s it. I think I need to add weight lifting and decrease eating. But I LOVE to eat. Especially paçoca. It is to the point that when I go to the grocery store I buy the whole box. I am going to try to smuggle in as much as I can. I don´t know how I will live without it. This is a maternal family trait - when the women in my family like a food we REALLY like a food.
I´ve eaten MANY types of paçoca - and Flormel peanut and oat paçoca is the BEST by far. When I open a bakery one day this will be the house speciality.

Earth Shoes Update

2007-12-13T11:41:00.001-02:00

They are made in China. BUMMER! Here is what the company says about it:

"We do not own our factories, but we do work closely with our partner factories to ensure the highest of standards. Year after year, we work closely with our partners around the world to ensure that their individual standards are on par with the high baseline and standards of our own US offices.Specifically in China, where we've worked with regional partner factories in China's special industrialized zones for more than 10 years, our influence in this market has helped to affect progress. Our nature is to push the envelope in all aspects of our business model as we continually look for a better way of doing things, right down to the working and living conditions of our employees and those of our affiliates"

And in regards to being environmentally friendly:

"For some time, we've been ahead of the curve when it comes to incorporating environmental-friendliness into our product. Within the shoe industry, we were one of the first manufacturers to dedicate 100% of our line to using water-based adhesives. While this is an important step toward creating 'green'-er product, it is not the only one. We continuously seek to improve on all that we do, and we've recently stepped up our use of recycled cardboard shanks, and the use of more environmentally-friendly materials in our uppers. Beyond footwear production, we're also a member of the Eco-Partners Network within the industry. In this capacity, we work with other suppliers, manufacturers, and retailers to provide a transparent view into the opportunities presented by pursuing more sustainable product development."

So bottom line....lots of babble double talk. I´m sure I buy LOADS of stuff from China each day, but I try to avoid it. Why? Well, because of the government. They have an atrocious human rights record (those poor Tibetans) and the government strongly supports the genocidal regime in Sudan (mostly because oil).

I think I´m still going to buy them. Ugh. The guilt, the shame, the blantant consumerism. I just really need snowboots and I feel like these are my best choice out of a bad lot. Can I get an amen?

Seriously considering making a yeast mandioca bread today or tomorrow. Will keep you posted.

Earth Vegan Lodge Boots - ON SALE

2007-12-12T17:23:00.000-02:00

I have multiple email addresses: two gmail, one hotmail, several university emails. I check my gmail address several times a day (borders on addiction) and typically neglect the others. For some reason I was motivated to check my hotmail account today (the following story is too superficial to attribute it to divine intervention). Reading through my emails I found that I had a beautifully glorious email from Gaiam saying that Earth Vegan Lodge Boots were on sale. Normally $159, they are being sold until midnight EST time tonight for $99.

You don´t understand - I have been visiting mooshoes website for weeks now drooling over these boots. They are so much more then I can afford, but I will never forget walking around Boston´s icy streets while visitng the ex last winter, my feet were so cold I thought I needed hospitalization. If I want a shot at happiness in Boston, I need these boots (or so I have convinced myself). I even tried to cajole my mom into visiting Mooshoes grand opening and buying them for me - at a 15% discount, to no avail. (my mom hates shopping so it was like trying to tempt me to eat a corndog). I just looked on zappos yesterday to see if I could get them cheap. People - I am moving to Boston, practically the tundra - I need snowboots. On zappos they were 162.95 - with free shipping. I determined to hit up family members for gift certificates and wait it out.

Once I received that email I knew I had to buy them, there would be no waiting for me. My only dilemma was whether I should buy them in tan or black. (I chose tan - more likely to stain but cuter). I dug out my creditcard (which thanks to mom and pops hasn´t seen much use the four months I´ve been in Brasil) and I went on line to make a selfish, completely indulgent purchase. It didn´t work!?! But never fear, that did not stop me. I called the tollfree number and had them sent to my parents house. Total (drumroll please) = $110.95. Still too much but what is debt for if not warm toes and cute boots?

I don´t post on other blogs, I´m not really tapped in to the online vegan community, and I´m not really an animal rights activist (much more into the rights of humans). BUT....I´ve never been so sad that I don´t have vegans to share this information with. I can only hope and pray that some deserving vegan stumbles onto this information by 12:00amEST December 13th.

One more incentive to return to the states and this will help offset my incredible sadness in leaving Brasil. I can´t wait to try those babies on. I wish I could figure out a way to post a picture of these boots on my blog (vanessa - help me!)

Oopppsss....hold on. I just realized I forget to check if they have PVC or are made in China. Ugh!!! Must resist environmentally unfriendly explotation of human labor....but....i want them, i want them. Please let them not have been assembled by small children in dark windowless rooms. Please! I´ll let you know what I find.

Mass, the bus, vegans, and mandioca

2007-12-11T17:53:00.000-02:00

Sunday was fantastic. I woke up at 7am and went to mass. I can´t help it, I just prefer 8am mass. I usually go to the 10am or 6pm mass but those masses are so crowded, and there is so much singing, and the priest/congregation talks so much. We all have our limitations, and mine happens to be that I don´t like crowded, talkative, singy masses (unless it is St. Augustine´s in Washington Dc where the sining is AMAZING!). I want to like them, I try to like them, and I don´t. I constantly remind myself that I am at mass to thank God, not for my own pleasure....and yet....why fight to like something when I have the peaceful 8am mass? I also returned the secret santa bag I had picked up a few weeks before, filled with goodies for an impoverished 9 year old boy that I have never, and will never, met. I was suposed to buy him clothes and 1 toy. I did buy him a rocking tshirt and board shorts, 1 toy, and three books. I couldn´t help it! I had to include books. My aunt suggested that I buy him clothes from Walmart but I hate Walmart, in much the same way I hate corndogs (with a physically nauseating passion), and I didn´t want to buy him lots of cheap stuff. I know, I know - it isn´t very practical. He is poor, receiving a christmas donation for a gift, so perhaps more is better. I spent a fair share of money on him (much more then I spent on my cousin´s), so if I had gone cheap I could have definitely spent more. He is poor, but he still probably knows what is cool (if my Gotas kids are any indiation) and it was with them in mind that I bought him what I did. I only pray it serves him well.

After that early start I jumped on the bus (the bus and I are now buddies, I´ve even bought the Bilhete Unico card that allows for me to transfer for free - when I whip it out I really feel like a native) and headed to the 2nd Annual Vegan Xmas Bazar. Xmas Bazars are very typical here - churches, NGO´s, communities - you name it - and they are putting together some sort of event to sell goods in the days before xmas. This was a Vegan Bazar so all the products were animal cruelty free, and loads of activists and NGO´s were attending - I had to go. It was the most challenging bus ride to date, for sure. To get there the bus drove down a freeway type avenue called the 23rd of May and I had to randomly select a spot I thought may be good - but had no clue since I´d never been there before. Cars whizzed by as I cluelessly followed some people up a hill. The fact that I arrived, in relatively short order, must have been divine intervention. Once there I loaded up on purchases. I bought my cousin her birthday present, my roomies some rockin´ buttons, a vegan cookbook just about corn, and lots of soaps from Sampamazonia. Their stuff is so cool. It is animal free, environmentally conscious, and kinda fair tradish (not officially). I´m headed back to their official store location and loading up for my return to the states.

I can´t believe I´m headed back. I am starting to feel very sad. I´m not ready to leave my grandmother. I still have so much português to learn. I still have so much mandioca to practice preparing. I made a mandioca coconut cake last night.It wasn´t that good; undercooked and flavorless, but my aunt raved about it. (She is so sweet, I will miss her too). The recipe called for shredded coconut, I didn´t add that because I don´t really like it, but otherwise I followed the recipe exactly - even added vanilla. There just wasn´t enough flavor. I´m brainstorming and have some good ideas, once it comes out better I´ll post.

Personal Update:

-I have a second phone interview on Friday. The more I learn about the company, Summer Search, the more excited I get.

-My uncle was released from the hospital today. If you do that kinda of thing, pray for him.

-My apartment is all set, they received the check my mom sent for me. I can´t wait! Well, I can wait a little because I´m so sad to leave my family in Brasil. But...my roomie and I are already planning a party for Jan.19th (hopefully to coincide with a lil cuzin´reunion that is in the works).

-I don´t know what I would do without my mom. I CAN´T WAIT TO SEE HER AND MY POPPA!!!! My aunt is trying to say there isn´t enough room for me to meet them at the airport but wild horses aren´t keeping me away.

-Boys. Ugh. Double ugh. I don´t know what is going on with my brother, with my ex, or with my friend NYT (alias). Boys are so confusing. I am just going to keep doing the work by Byron Katie and praying. There is one male that makes me smile and doesn´t complicate anything - my Jump instructor. He is great to look at, he doesn´t talk much except to say "you can do it" and "good job melissa", and he´s always happy to see me. What more can a girl ask for. Tehee!

So much to talk about

2007-12-08T14:09:00.000-02:00

First off, the mandioca was a disaster. I don´t recommend watching a cooking program in a foreign language and then one week later trying to make the recipe by memory. Especially if you have a swiss cheese memory like me. I brought the cut up mandioca to a boil, in soy milk with some vanilla extract, and then let it simmer. After one hour the mandioca was still hard and the milk had "simmered" away. So then I added more soymilk and put it in the microwave for ten minutes. After which time the mandioca was softer but basically tasted like stringy flavorless potatoes. I put the molasses on top and that didn´t help much. Later I remembered that the chef had removed the stringy, hard center of the mandioca after boiling - a definite must. I am positive the recipe is not a sophisticated, mulit flavored one but whatever he made had to have been better then my results. Yuck! (I´ve included a before pic - the after would make you sick).
Yesterday I took the bus to Vila Madalena - a neighborhood in São Paulo that has many vegetarian and vegan options. I went to Alternativa Casa do Natural on Rua Fradique Coutinho, 910. The moment I walked in I felt at peace(much needed after a long, slow, rainy bus ride and walk there). I just felt at home with the scent of incense, new age background instrumentals, and organic quinoa. I ate lunch there. The food was good, not great, not sophisticated, not pretty, but healthy and tasty. I wrote down the names of what I ate but my dictionary doesn´t provide for a translation things like komatsuná refogada, something sauteed, and arroz integral catito, some kind of whole grain rice (just to mention a few). All but two items at the buffet were vegan, and "all you can eat" was 16 reais (about 10 dollars), a pretty good deal. It was so relaxing to be in a place with people who care about what they put in their body and how animals and humans are treated in the process. I bought a cookbook called Cozinha Vegetariana, by Caroline Bergerot, and I can´t wait to start cooking. There are over 50 bread recipes alone. The title says Vegetariana but as far as I can tell it is vegan. Woohoo. I plan on making a mandioca cake (which has to be better then my prior mandioca fiasco). The recipes are simple, don´t call for much more then fresh veggies, fruits, tofu, and oil.....so lets see.

Today was my last day for Gotas de Flor com Amor. And I forgot my camera. I´m so bitter. I made a collage of some of my favorite (old) photos to post in honor of the occassion. My last day coincided with the annual volunteer party. The 6-7 years olds sung for us, the 12-14 year olds did a cool rap/performance with cups. (Pictures would do so much more justice then I can). I loved the experience of working there and I undoubtedly received so much more then I gave. I don´t leave behind any lasting legacy and I am sure the kids don´t remember a single English word that I taught. But they have left a lasting legacy on my heart. Rose, the librarian, taught me what it means to be committed to a job above and beyond the parameters of a job description. She does so much, for so little. Amparo, the on site boss - second in command, taught me what grace truly means. Her husband recently passed away and she continues to come to work with smiles and sincere concerns for the well being of others. The kids taught me what it means to survive. They open their hearts and easily love every volunteer and worker, no matter how long they spend at Gotas. Most of these kids come from a level of poverty that NO American will ever endure and they smile, play, laugh and love, without reservation. I would be lucky to be more like each and every one of them. I will be truly blessed if God allows me to spend my life, professionally and personally, in devotion to the welfare of others, like them.

UPDATE on Boston:
- I´m excited. For new roomies, cousins, the MSU alum association of Boston, vegans of Boston, etc.
- I had a phone interview on Wednesday. I thought it went well but I just saw that they reposted the position and extended the deadline for application, not a good sign. Thinking back I realize when she asked me about my volunteer experience I wasn´t articulate. Oh well!
- I´m waitlisted for the classes I want to take most. I may end up taking classes from 7:15am to 6:15pm every Saturday. The pain, the torture!

Brasilian Vegans

2007-12-06T18:46:00.001-02:00

If you ever plan on traveling to Brasil, for any amount of time, you HAVE to set up an Orkut account. It is a way to connect with fellow students, vegans, activists, music lovers - whatever, whoever. One of my (many marvelous) cousins has an Orkut account, which Brasilians are just mad over, and she lead me to some fantastic vegan communities. Even my dentist sent me an intro email with her Orkut information! Get Orkut!
Through one of those vegan communities I found this awesome Brasilian blog, Cantino Vegetariano. As the name indicates, it is not strictly vegan, but many recipes are vegan and all are clearly labeled. I follow about 15 American vegan blogs and that community is very tight knit and right now everyone seems to be making recipes from Veganomicon. Since I don´t cook all that often (but would like to), don´t have access to that book, and am more interested in whether or not Chavez becomes a dictator then whether a stray cat finds a home (which I hope it does) I need to carve my own niche. (I´ve discussed not having a blog identify before). I´m thinking my niche may be in creating veganized Brasilian food, and continuing to blabber on about my life, views, and frustrations. As I type I am experimenting with a milk (soy)boiled mandioca that will be topped with molasses (melado da cana). I saw the dish prepared on a Brasilian cooking show called Mesa Pra Dois. They also had some tapioca recipes, all the recipes were very typical of northern Brasil. I think (with my limited expertise) the tapioca can be easily veganized as well. I´ll also plan on making paçoca - which I love. Love. LOVE. I´ll let you know how the mandioc goes. (Mandioc, by the way, is a tuber also known as cassava).
I have LOADS of free time so you would think I would be cooking up a storm - but the maid spends most of the day in the kitchen so it is not to be. I have basically finished at Gotas de Flor com Amor, this Saturday is the last day of the ônibus/bookmobile. Why? Well, most of the younger children have started vacation - because while it is miserably cold and about 20 degrees in my future home city of Boston - it is just about summer time here. Which means I can eat yummy fruits and veggies that aren´t grown too far away.
There is lots I can do with my free time. I work out a lot - which is great because I eat a LOT. I spend time with my grandmother, today I spent the whole day with her and it was fantastic. When I walked out of the kitchen today, speaking to her in português, it struck me how lucky I am to be here. What else? I hang out with my cousins Sylvinha e Vanessa, I watch moves, I find a different pizza place each week. I´m obssesed with pizza, no cheese and lots of heart of palms. I just bought an insanely expensive pizza at Pizza Leona, a very chiq and delicious pizzaria here. Recently I have been warned that some pizza doughs contain powdered milk, so I have to be more militant in my questioning. Brasilians at times, seem to go out of their way to make naturally vegan foods not vegan (like a local bakery that adds pork fat to their french bread), and will lie about it! Beware vegans.
Other food findings......I´ve discovered that if I add ripe pineapple to my maracuja juice I don´t need to add sugar - which is great because one day a week I try to avoid all refined sugar (since I eat SO much every other day). I usually go through the trouble of making fresh juice each morning because the store bought stuff just isn´t as good. Since Maria, the maid, makes a mountain of beans when she cooks I´ve been turning them into patties and eating them for breakfast, along with the juice. Not very Brasilian (a typical bfast here is bread, with cheese and ham, and coffee) but I love it!

Movie Reviews and food + boston update

2007-12-02T19:46:00.000-02:00

I´ve watched four movies in the past four days so I thought I would start my post with that. The first three are American, the last is Brasilian. I liked all but one. I use the ratings on rotten tomatoes as a reference point - it isn´t a very sophisticated system but includes a plethora of critics.

Harry Potter e a Ordem da Fênix (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) - 77% on Rotten Tomatoes. Now, I have to admit - I haven´t read a single book in the series. Imagine - me, an aspiring librarian, young adult no less, not having read a SINGLE book in the series. Don´t throw stones, I just don´t have the desire. I don´t know why - maybe because it is SO amazingly popular I just can´t bring myself to jump on the bandwagon. Plus the books are very long and I don´t like reading long books (I´m just digging myself a hole here, heim?) BUT....I love the movies. And I really liked this one. I think the dialogue is sophisticated, the acting is good, and the plot is intriguing. I almost wanted to pick up the first book when I was done watching. Almost.
Os Maiores (The Moguls/The Amateurs) - 17% on Rotten Tomatoes. I absolutely loved this movie. The acting was fantastic, the plot was easy to follow and very entertaining, and the ending was typical Hollywood fluff - but in a very fun way. It addressed feelings of inadequacy, racial stereotypes, and the perfection of imperfection. The ending was very implausible and perhaps saccharine (as one critic griped) but hey, I laughed, smiled, and felt good at the end. AND it wasn´t predictable. I think is is just about the best that Hollywood has to offer. Take that!

Os Donos da Noite (We Own the Night) - 55% on Rotten Tomatoes. How this movie received a higher rating then The Amateurs I will NEVER understand. I thought this movie was horrible. Truly. I wanted to like it. I adore Joaquim Phoenix, and who wouldn´t - he is a vegan and is River´s younger brother (may he rest in peace). Not to mention that he has a great scar and acts well. But really - the movie was the pits. The characters were totatlly lame (Joaquim goes from drug using club manager to bad to the bone cop???), the plot was improbable (the brilliant Russian drug traffickers didn´t realize that Joaquim was related to many cops AND when Joaquim had a bounty on his head he decided to have a meeting at the club where he used to work with those that wanted to kill him - just to name a few), and there were several scenes where you could see the microphones. My cousin assures me because the screen was too large - but it just added to incredible lameness that I wasn´t prone to accept that excuse. Don´t go see it in the theatre, don´t rent it, don´t watch it on tv. It was almost as ridiculously bad as dumb Miami Vice.

Ano em que meus Pais Sairam de Feira (The Year my Parents Went on Vacation) - Not reviewed on Rotten Tomatoes - don´t know why! I loved this movie. It took place in Brasil during the World Cup in 1970. It addressed, very lightly, the issue of the dictatorship (which I think is a topic that requires more thought and reflection in Brasilian society), Jews in São Paulo (something that I´ve never seen addressed), and depicted the absolute soccer madness that Brasil exhibits (and uses to mask real social inequalities and political deficiencies). It was a slow moving, almost simple movie, with no great climax but with some genuinely beautiful moments.

Despite movies, how is life?
-I think I found an apartment in Boston, and the closest Catholic Church offers two masses in Brasilian português. I think it is fate. I am not getting too invested because it has already fallen through once, but I pray it works out.
-I tried to make maracuja mousse with my agar agar. Mousse is nice and rich, with a smooth texture, this stuff came out like a cream based jello. Disgusting. I don´t know if I added too much agar agar or if agar agar is just better for jello. I used sweetened condensed soy milk, soy cream, and maracuja juice. I wish it had been good.
-I keep making brownies, pancakes, and blackbean patties (to which I added leftover brown rice and liked). The next time I make the brownies I will crumble paçoca, the love of my life, and take them to my cousins house for movie night. Hey girlies - if you are reading this - I can´t wait!
-I may have a phone interview with a very cool company in Boston next week. I´m excited.
-I thought I was getting back together with my exboyfriend. But....probably not. I may be changing, but not enough to make that relationship work - I will always want suprises and my requests fulfilled. And anyway, I don´t think that is what he wants. I feel a little sad but feel good about me regardless.

i hate blogger

2007-11-29T15:41:00.000-02:00

I just wrote an AWESOME post and lost it. It didn´t save, it didn´t publish, nothing. UGH!
I talked about:
- orkut (which is wildly popular here in Brasil) and if you travel here I recommend you set up an account
- other travel tips
- cousins (who I have reconnected with on facebook and hope to rendevous with in Boston)
- vegan brownies: i´ve made them twice. The first time I substitued the water with soy milk and added oats and expresso. I don´t recommend the oats or expresso. The second time I did half brown sugar, half white sugar. I had tried to made cashew butter but the blender wasn´t up to the task so I just tossed the crumbles ontop of the batter and baked it up. Yummy! Next time I´ll sub half the white flour for wheat. As I get older I like chocolate less and less but I do love these brownies
- LaChamba cookware (I wanted to buy it, it´s fair trade, ecofriendly and Gaiam is having a 1cent shipping sale until Dec.3rd - but it is sold out)
- I got a cool care package from the kids of one of my oldest/dearest friends
- I found a place to live in Boston, my mom is sending my check to make it official. woohoo!
I´m too devastated to do a full on repeat. Here are pictures of my AWESOME carepackage and brownies.

what do dental cleanings and manicures have in common?

2007-11-27T13:15:00.000-02:00

In the U.S. the answer would be nothing. You get your teeth cleaned (ideally) ever six months - manicures require more frequent upkeep. Dental cleanings cost more then manicures. Dentists go through more schooling then manicurists. However, in Brasil, they do have something in common - they both hurt, ALOT! Brasilians, perhaps as a result of valuing beauty so highly, must have one of the worlds highest tolerances for pain. I say this because I´ve experienced more pain here in the last 3 months then probably the past 3 years in the states. Between waxings of places that don´t see the light of day, ruthless removal of cuticles, and bleeding gums I´m suprised I am still standing.

Speaking of health (kind of)....I have a sore throat. I can´t believe it. If I get sick again it will be the third time in 3 months. Every time I get a great workout routine established - bam - sick again. WHY me?!? I eat well, drink lots of water, and sleep tons. How can this be happening? Granted the weather here is crap - it changes radically every 6-8 hours. And I´m fragile, as my aunt lovingly says. What does that mean? I´m easy prey for the germs of others. I´ve started volunteering at Gotas de Flor com Amor again and those beloved children that live in squalor and have no health insurance carry what seems to be a near cousin of the 1919 flu epidemic - I sometimes worry it is TB when they cough (and they smile and play right through it). Also, when I get stressed I get sick. I´ve been stressed lately. Not even in a bad way - just in a "learning a new language, culture, family" kind of way. That´s not to say I don´t have a GREAT, blessed, life.

My friend Leah blogs on her myspace page and I love it. Recently she posted about feeling down and out. She made a great point that I just have to borrow: "Sometimes stuff just sucks....... Granted, I am not incapacitated or starving or dying of the Bubonic plague, so some may say that I should always be happy since I have never experienced those things, but I don't feel so happy. " I too realize that my problems - in comparisons with others - are trivial. I don´t worry about where I will get my next meal, on the contrary - I worry about stopping myself from eating all the goodies in the fridge. I don´t worry about living in a war zone, I worry about whether the taxi driver will rip me off. I don´t worry seeing my loved ones unfairly imprisoned or tortured, I worry that their next elective plastic surgery will look bad. But my pops once told me that comparison is the source of most suffering. I agree. I clearly keep in perspective all my blessings and that my stresses are relatively minor, but they are still stresses for me and as a result I have a sore throat.

I just want to briefly mention that I had the best wedding food I´ve ever had in my LIFE at my biodad´s wedding on Saturday (hopefully his last). They prepared a vegan mushroom risotto just for me and I´ve never tasted anything more divine. I think the key is that they prepared it just for one - he was adamant about having food for me. When I first became vegetarian at age 15 he was very unsupportive - the exact opposite is true now. It fueled me through an after party of karaokê with friends, in the dress I had worn to the wedding. I turned a few heads - because a floor length, bright green, evening gown stands out, even in the midst of a hot, sweaty, plastic floral decorated, neon light, karaokê bar. I had fun - but I only made it until 3 or so. With this sore throat it will be no more 6am curfews for a while.

Okay - I just ate a large bowl of yummy veggie soup and am off to watch Harry Potter. It just arrived here. Cheers!

Online shopping pet peeves

2007-11-23T10:30:00.000-02:00

Between missing my parents, college football, cranberries, and having one of the worst (mock) thanksgivings in recent memory yesterday - I needed a pick me up. I decided to partake in some online retail therapy. (I hate to cater to the stereotype of females loving to shop - but you know what, I can´t lie, sometimes shopping helps). Just like I am particular about my food, I am particular about what I wear. My number one priority is avoiding clothes made in sweatshops - nearly impossible when it comes to mainstream appareal - but I try nonetheless. My number two priority is clothing that is environmentally sustainable. My number three priority is that it looks good and I can afford it. teehee.

To address these concerns online shopping is great. Faeries Dance is an online retailer that addresses the human component and environmental impact of clothing. Fair Indigo focuses on the wages that laborers receive and No Sweat is 100% union made. Websites like Greenloop and Envi focus on higher end eco-friendly clothing. And when I want to shop "vegan" I´ve got Mooshoes, Pangea (which is also great about fairly made products), and Herbivore. (there are MANY others retailers I like - like gaiam, vickerey, and lotus organics - but I will save them for other posts).

I like online shopping but I definitely have some pet peeves. I can´t stand when they don´t list the inseam length, or only have one photo of the item, or have an unclear/difficult return policy, or don´t offer free shipping when I buy more then $100 worth of goods, or don´t tell me where the item was made. But my biggest pet peeve is when the same item is sold for different prices at different sites.

The thing about fair trade environmental clothing is that it is more expensive (especially fancy pancy designer stuff like Edun, Loomstate, Stewart+Brown, Habitude, Charmone)- and that is okay with me. If someone makes a living wage and I help sustain the environment then I am happy to pay more. I just want to make sure I know why I am paying more and who is pocketing the profit. I especially ask myself this question when there is a notable discrepency in prices for the same item. Take the Emma Shirt by Of The Earth - not a style I personally like - but perfect for illustrating my point. On the Faeriesdance website the shirt sells for $49.00. On the Greenloop website the shirt is selling for $64.00. And at yet another random online retailer - Backcountry - the shirt sells for 57.45. Ugh!

So this rant was totally unrelated to Brasil. But as I was online window shopping it just struck me how annoying this phenomenon is and what better way to vent then to blog!
I hope everyone had a delicious, loving, peaceful thanksgiving filled with gratitude. I´m grateful for all of my family and friends that read this - you rock!

grateful

2007-11-22T21:08:00.000-02:00

These next few days are VERY difficult days for me but you know what - I still have lots to be grateful for. (rereading this the next day I´ve decided to edit some blatantly bitter parts - teehee!)

1. I am grateful for my faith. Even though I struggle with church dictates and often bear the brunt of others objections to Catholicism, I am so glad I believe.
2. I am so glad I have so much family that loves me.
3. I am so grateful for my parents. They are the epitomy of perfection, unconditional love, and acceptance. I thank God for them.
4. I am grateful I am in Brasil and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
5. I am grateful for pilates - it is fun.
6. I am grateful for long lost cousins and new opportunities with family.
7. I am grateful that I have three grandmothers that are alive and love me.
8. I am grateful for friends.
9. I am grateful for my health.
10. I am grateful for old friends and new beginnings.

Black bean patties

2007-11-21T19:18:00.000-02:00

When I first started this blog back in May it was for work, really. I created it with the idea that it would be about my vegan lunches and my faith (Catholicism). I soon realized that I don´t really put that much effort into lunches or being vegan (unlike this blogger) and that I don´t feel all that comfortable talking about my faith. Then I thought it could be about vegan product reviews, kind of like SuperVegan (which I love), but since I am a poor graduate student that doesn´t really buy things that idea didn´t pan out. The more I started following other vegan blogs - like Urban Vegan, The Concious Kitchen, Don´t Get Mad Get Vegan, Eat Air, Squirrel´s Vegan Kitchen, Veganfriendly.com - I realized I was never going to be apart of that type of vegan community. I´m vegan for different reasons, with different priorities - though I still read those blogs daily and am dying to make UV deconstructed monkey bread. So I started blogging about me - what I think, what I do, my insecurities, my triumphs. Not really of any larger community benefit - but it is a subject near and dear to my heart. teehee

But today - today I actually made a meal that I think can be of use on other people´s plates. It all stemmed from Maria (the maid who drinks all my goiaba juice and occasionally dislikes me) making a huge batch of black beans (with no bacon or sausage because there is none in the house). If I don´t eat it - and all of it - I offend her, but I didn´t want another night of beans on top of rice with a side of brocoli. Been there, done that. So I looked up vegan recipes with black beans, online, and found this one. I modified it, slightly, based on the ingredients I had, and I think it is worth posting about.

Black Bean Patties

* 2 1/2 c. of black beans, reserve liquid and 1/2 c beans

*1 onion, finely chopped

*1-3 cloves of garlic, minced (to taste)

* 1 c. bread crumbs, or flour

* salt and pepper to taste

I blended 2 c. of black beans with about 1/2 c. of water (since my beans were made from scratch I didn´t have that nasty can liquid that comes in handy). I then gently mixed in the remaining beans to give the patties more texture then baby food. I sauteed the onions for about 5 minutes, until translucent, and added the garlic for another two minutes. I then added the onion/garlic mixture to the bean mixture. I added about 1/4 c. bread crumbs at a time (which my biological dad provided me in the food packages he often delivers) until the mixture was thick. And then I sauteed - or fried, if you insist. With a side of brocoli it was very good. I just want to add that the patties have a crisp exterior and a oozy inside - so delicious. I don´t understand why it has to be "vegan food" and why it just isn´t good? and p.s. that pan is so old and scratched please don´t even remind me about the dangers of nonstick pans!

Now I still need to figure out how to use that agar agar and shiitake miso......

vacation for my vacation

2007-11-20T16:00:00.001-02:00

I´m in Brasil to get to know my family, improve my português, and volunteer when needed. Learning a second language, getting familiar with a different culture and handling family dynamics can be tiring....but no doubt about it - I am on vacation. So the fact that I went on vacation, while I am on vacation, is a little redundant. But while in Brasil, do as Brasilians - go to the beach! I went to Ilha Grande, an island that is a part of the state of Rio de Janeiro (also a world famous city). The weather was horrible nearly the entire time but the friends and scenery were well worth it.

Given that I was at a very remote beach, with little sun, lots of rain, and no internet connection, our entertainment options were limited. We improvised very well - with card games Uno and Spades, videokaraoke, a crazy clothing competition called "miss ridiculous" (which I came in 4th place), caipirinhas and lots of dancing. Satomi, a great woman from Japan, taught us how to use chopsticks - properly. Fred, the Swede, taught us how to sing Jingle Bells in Swedish. And Jonathan is the one who taught us how to play spades. (I´m not sure what I contributed but I definitely benefited). The vacation was a package deal, not something I prefer to do but was well worth it because we met some fantastic people. Almost everyone was impressed with our language skills and the international flavor of our group. I really had a great time with all of them.

Without a doubt my biggest concern was the food. The greatest difficulty I have with being vegan is other people´s frustrations with preparing food and traveling. I am vegan for environmental, social, and health reasons. Given those reasons, in an ideal world, I would eat all natural/local/seasonal produce, with minimal packaging or shipping, farmed by myself or those that receive a living wage. However, I don´t really have a green thumb (I nearly killed all my roomies plants when she went to Paraguay for 2 weeks), I like sweets, and when I´m traveling I don´t have the control over what type of produce people buy. As a result, I eneded up eating a lot of french fries (which I love but hardly ever eat), melon, and white rice (I actualy prefer brown) on this vacation. I hope the beans I ate weren´t made with bacon but I´d rather not think about it. I made sure to take my own food, mostly junk food consisting of amendoim (peanuts). I´ve fallen in love with "japanese" style peanuts (which satomi assures me they don´t have in Japan). All in all the trip got me thinking alot about how I eat. Sometimes I regret I can´t just go over to someone´s house and eat whatever they offer, but my desire to live a life in alignment with my values outweighs my regret. I´ve been vegetarian for almost 13 years, during which time I knew I should have be vegan - based on my values - but it wasn´t until April 2006 (after reading Great American Detox Diet) that I finally made the switch. And now I think I may need a few years to do this vegan thing well.

Unrelated to my trip:

I´ve also discovered cake mixes here that are animal product free (vegan by default - though not really in alignment with my personal values) that work with the soda can recipe. Here is how it works - you add a can of soda to the cake mix and bake. I´m not a big soda person but I LOVE guarana - a soda particular to Brasil. This type of cake is gooey, sticky, sugary, and yummy. I also bought some agar agar which I still haven´t figured out how to use and I have a large bag of shitake miso which is so salty and delicious but I have no idea how to use more then a tablesppon at a time. Any suggestions???

I´m starting to think about my 2008 resolutions. I usually make about 25 or 30. I already know one, I plan on baking some type of vegan bread once a week. Please send me recipes (pizza dough, breadsticks, rolls, etc)

I will be missing out on homemade cranberry sauce for thanksgiving. If you have some - eat up.

I look back to two months ago - when I suffering over my exboyfriend and no friends - and I couldn´t feel farther away from that time in my life. Amen!

Eating well

2007-11-12T10:11:00.000-02:00

I downloaded a free trial of photo collage in order to put together this nifty compilation of all the yummy vegan food I´ve been eating lately. My new friend Sebastain from Argentina made me vegan emapanadas. He actually made a variety - most non vegan -but he went out of his way to make sure that the milho (corn) empanadas were vegan. I thought they were very tasty. They weren´t shiny/pretty like the others because he didn´t use an egg wash but they were equally tasty - I´m sure. Then for dessert he served a fruit salad - especially for me, which made it even yummier. The next day my biological father made me some of his famous lasagna. The panko crumbs on top almost look like parmesean cheese and taste great, the filling is some brasilian nut, tofu, mushroom combo (i think). And the next day he bought me some delicious vegan Chinese dumplings that I lightly "sauteed". I love dumplings! Unfortunately I only made three and put the rest in the fridge. The next day they were moldy - I think from the temperature change. Now - if I was Maria (the maid) I would have cooked them. That is her solution to saving moldy food - cooking it. But I didn´t chance it. (ps - don´t blame me for the evil plastic bag underneath the dumplings, they were given to me with that bag - maybe I´ll make a throw pillow out of it)

Last night was my aunt´s fantastic Greek themed birthday party. She generously encouraged me to invite six of my friends and my professor from school. There were about 50 peple there - of which about 30 were family. I ate before I went, but I did make out with some black olives and tomato wedges. The best part was probably the breaking of the plates. Though the dancing and the conversation were equally as entertaining. I said hello to everyone, did my best to be social, bought my aunt a nice gift, complimented the food and festivities AND YET my aunt is mad at me. At about 10:30pm most of the family had left and the last of the cousins were leaving - Slyvia and Vanessa. They live nearby, I didn´t know how much longer my aunt would stay with her friends, so....I asked if I could get a ride home with them. Big mistake! I knew it almost as soon as I asked but I wasn´t sure. Now I am positive. My aunt ignored me this morning, left a note without saying "beijos", and has opened everyone´s gift but mine. Ughh. double ugh. I guess I was supposed to stay until the very end since I live with her. I don´t know. The challenge now is to make her happy without her flipping out on me first (also considered "expressing emotions" here in Brasil). That is a bigger test of my new Brasilian skills then reconciling with the maid! (who continues to drink my goiaba juice like it is a life saving elixir)

I´m headed to Ilha Grande on Wednesday. I refuse to look up the weather forecast - what is the point? I don´t want to know if it is going to rain at the quasi deserted beach area that I am vacationing at - because if it rains......there will be NOTHING to do. (not that laying on the beach, exposing myself to skin cancer, is a whole lot - but you know what I mean)

I keep applying for jobs - nothing to date, but I have time. I thought I had found a great apartment with a cool roomie but the current roomie decided to stick around. I remember in college signing a lease almost a year before moving into a place - I´ve moved long past that type of preplanning. Having 7 apartments in 5 years has equipped me with the abililty to pull the proverbial rabbit out my hat mere days prior to needed move in. Boys still confuse me but I have my hands full with keeping family happy so I´ll just worry about him/them tomorrow.

I have a new friend....well, two....

2007-11-08T20:20:00.000-02:00

On Tuesday I got my second tattoo. In case you haven´t heard - it hurts to get a tattoo. Hurts, hurts, hurts. And tattoos require quite a bit of care. I have to use special soap to wash it each day. I have to apply cream 2 to 3 times a day. I am not supposed to sunbathe, swim, or exercise for 10 days. I was so distraught to learn that I couldn´t exercise for ten days that the man at the tattoo shop quickly modified the number to 5. (if I don´t run for 10 days I will be a neurotic mess - see explanation below) BUT....I think she is beautiful. I know there are people on both sides of the fence when it comes to tattoo´s - hate em or love em. Either way - Nossa Senhora Aparecida is with me always, in my heart, through my faith, and on my love handle. Teehee.

I was reluctant to take a picture to show her. One reason was because I have family and friends that detest tattoos. Another reason is because I´m feeling kinda fat right now. I haven´t worked out regularly for almost two weeks, between being sick and now having a tattoo. Also, I have been eating a lot. There are these cracker "things" that have about 2000 calories per bag and I eat a bag in two days. I don´t know what it is - I don´t think they are crackers, they are more like crack. I include this picture of a quick dinner I threw together. It was japanese soba noodles (which I LOVE), with steamed brocoli, sauteed onions, soy sauce, all topped with sesame seeds. Not bad - and I actually ate a legitimate portion of noodles. The problem is the tray of brigadeiros you see behind the dinner. I used two cans of sweetened condensed soy milk and cocoa powder. I ate that tray in about two days - that seems to be the magic number. And here is a funny quirk about me - whenever I eat really badly, as I have been, I drink even MORE water (as if that will flush the toxic fat cells out of my system) and then I feel bloated, on top of feeling guilty and fat. I´m just going to go straight to TRIPLE ugh! I usually eat a lot, and not always great, but when I work out it negates the guilt. Oh well, not too much longer now.

I have definitely eaten enough today to stop for the evening but I´m not done. My new friend Sebastian, from Argentina, is cooking authentic empanada´s tonight - some specifically vegan for me. We have been inseperable. He went with me to the tattoo shop for moral support on Tuesday, he and I went to MAM (Museum of Modern Art) at Iberapuera Park yesterday, and tonight he is cooking for me. He and his significant other, and me and my friends, were going to all vacation in Porto Seguro next week, but now I am going to Ilha Grande instead. I´m not sosososo thrilled. I´ve been to Ilha Grande before but it is pretty and cheap. Yeah cheap. And it is certain. We have all booked and purchased or transportation and pousada. On a different note, Sebastian keeps trying to convince me that Argentina men are the way to go (he has no vested interest - he is definitely not interested in me). And today there was a report that ranked countries in terms of equality of the sexes. Brasil is 74th. The U.S. is 31st. And Argentina...33rd. Not bad. Sebastian may almost convince me - he opens all my doors, waits for me to walk out or in of a building first, he bought me (and his boyfriend) a rose at the park, and now he is cooking for me (which he swears all Argentinean men do). I truly love my friends here. I am pretty positive no one here - or in Argentina - is going to diminish my love for the boy back home, but I am having fun.

I´m vegan, single, Catholic, mostly American and learning what it means to be Brasilian. No boy, job, or Porto Seguro but LOTS of laughs and a very important woman watching my back. It´s been a good week. woohoo!

If Cinderella was brasilian....

2007-11-05T19:52:00.000-02:00

She wouldn´t have even left her house by the time her coach turned back into a pumpkin in the English version! No Brasilian fairy godmother would set midnight as the ultimate hour of reckoning - she would know better. I say this based on my Saturday night adventures. Let me tell you about an evening that ends at 6am (see proof to the left)....

I´ve met some amazing people, from all over the world. I truly am blessed. Saturday night we decided to head out. One of my favorite friends is Sebastian, he is from Argentina and lives with his boyfriend in a bairro (neighborhood) close to mine. (I´m not going to address the homosexuality issue - I am a practicing Catholic AND I love and accept many friends that are gay; I´ll work that out with God on my own). I said I´d be there at 9:30pm and got there at 10pm - I thought I was late. I wasn´t. They were just putting out appetizers. They thought I wanted to eat (sausage no less) at 10pm. I thought we were heading to the bar at 10pm. Oh - I have lots to learn about the Latin American way. teehee. (I will say once they found out that I am vegan they were horrified they had no food for me....but they had peanuts, and if you know me you know that nuts are one of the best food to have around). By 11:30pm we still hadn´t left and I was offered coffee. I never drink coffee but I knew it was going to be a late night and I had to do something.....so I took it. I drank the coffee, black, with just a little sugar, and......I liked it (see the incriminating substance to the right). I was horrified! I instantly worried about it being a gateway drug or becoming a terrifying habit that would lead to an evil Starbucks addiction. (I haven´t drank any since). But you know what - it did the trick (thank goodness I didn´t try it in college). As a result I was able to dance the night away until almost 5am. FIVE AM. And after we left the dance club my friends wanted to drink more coffee (I refused the liquid poison but went along for the great conversation and ride home). I didn´t get home until 6am, but it was well worth it. I heard fantastic 80´s music - American and Brasilian - and spent time with a group of people that love to dance. All thanks to my cup of cafe. But it got me thinking about the fairytale. I didn´t read much Cinderella growing up - luckily I had a mom that told me my happiness did NOT lie with a "perfect" man "saving" me - but I remember the stroke of midnight bit. They must have modified the hour in translations here.

What else?

*I rode the bus today. Woohoo. And even better, I didn´t get lost. If I decide to take classes again in December I won´t need a taxi. I´m really starting to feel like I´ve found my niche here.

* I´m not sick anymore.

* I and three other friends are going to Porto Seguro for the next holiday. And as of today we have a place to stay! Not a way to get there....yet....but I´m learning to be very flexible and have hope.

*My tattoo is scheduled for tomorrow and I am going to get it. So my next post will probably be a picture. You aren´t supposed to swim or sunbathe afterwards for almost 2 weeks so this gives me a good excuse not to wear my bikini for too long when I´m in Porto Seguro. Teehee. So why go to the beach you ask - well, because I haven´t seen the sun in São Paulo for DAYS (the weather is crazy here), I like the people going, I LOVE warm weather (don´t remind me that I´m moving to Boston....) and there is NOTHING to do in São Paulo during holidays.

* Overall, I´m happy, healthy, and loving life. (though still craving college football and cranberries)

Feriado

2007-11-02T18:20:00.000-02:00

Today is yet ANOTHER holiday here in Brasil. Now, I can´t complain too much - it is All Souls Day and I appreciate that when I went to mass at 8am this morning it was full. Granted, 75% of the congregation was over 65 but it was nice to see a full church so early in the morning.

November is just full of holidays. The 15th to the 20th of November is another (almost week long) holiday. When a holiday falls in the middle of the week Brasilians take off the rest of the week. What a great idea! (brasilians have almost as many holiday´s in November as we Americans have in a year) For the next holiday I am going to the beach. Yes, that is right, I - Melissa - am going to the beach. Not usually my thing but I know a couple that lives in Porto Seguro and four of my friends from school want to go. It is apparently a fantastic beach town. And as long as we figure out how to get there and where to stay I am going. Might sound like a lot of incredibly key details to figure out but I´m in Brasil - I´ll worry about it tomorrow. teehee.

Still no pictures. I spent all day with my grandmother - which was fantastic - and I had every intention of taking pictures. Here is the problem - I spent nearly my entire life without a camera, I just received one for my birthday 6 months ago (oh boy, that means I am 6 months closer to the big 2-9) from my dad. So I don´t have a habit of lugging a camera around and taking it out at opportune moments. Additionally - even though I have never had a camera - all of the sudden I want a smaller, faster, black one. This is the problem with buying things - it leads to wanting more things or "better" things. Ugh!

Thursday was my last day of class. It was so worthwhile: I speak more Português, I understand more, I know when I am speaking in the wrong tense (though I hardly remember what tense I should be using) AND I made friends. I may return for two weeks in December. Thanks mom and pops!

I´ve sent out two resumes. I don´t know what kind of success I will have since I am applying for jobs in Boston using my parents address in New York City and am currently in Brasil and can´t interview until the end of December, beginning of January. I am just going to keep plugging away and putting out resumes.

Being that São Paulo is a megacity, with nearly 20 million, it is not easy to get around. The metro is fantastic but nowhere near my house. My family doesn´t want me to ride the bus (but I am going to....) so instead I usually take expensive cabs that drive below the speed limit in attempts to rip me off. Today when I took a cab back from my grandma´s house it was the first time I was afraid. He´s seats were covered in plastic and the floor was covered with newspaper. He was short with glasses. I was sure he was a serial killer. (They have been showing a lot of horror movies in honor of Halloween). Don´t fear, I made it home safe and sound. Not only was he probably not a serial killer, I don´t think he has ever even been in a fight. He was only guilty of going 50 in a 60kpm hour zone. All the more incentive to take a bus (which would take twice as long, barely have standing room, and require at least transfers). I´d really show those taxi drivers then! teehee.

University of Michigan is playing against MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY tomorrow. How I wish I could see that game! Next year.....next year.....2008, in Ann Arbor, I am going to watch my first U of M, MSU game ever. I am determined!

I´m going out with friends tonight or tomorrow. I promise to work on the pics thing.

2 months

2007-10-30T16:24:00.000-02:00

I am sick again, the second time in two months. Which is how long I´ve been in Brasil. Besides being very disappointed in my immune system I am thrilled with my life here.

The update:

- This is my last week of classes, which I have been taking for a month. Today I learned composite forms of the subjunctive. What?!! I pretty much feel like I will never learn to speak Português, but that fluctuates daily so I´m learning not to take myself too seriously.

- I´m getting along very well with my aunt and her cats. My aunt is always very sweet and works incredibly hard, some days from 8 to 10pm. That, along with the fact that one of her cats (Olivivio) LOVES me, accounts for how well we get along.

- I love being around my family (grandma, aunts, cousins). Recent circumstances in my life and the lives of those around me have caused me to question what family means to me and who I consider my family. I consider family those people that I have a history - which (hopefully) includes shared memories of love and tenderness. As a result, people with whom I share no blood relation, like my pops, is one of the most important members of my family; at the same time there are several pepole with whom I am connected to by DNA who aren´t family to me. I´m always triggered by how so many people have an opinion of how I should live my life, of what is right and wrong. My aunt (the one I love living with) assured me yesterday that what is right for me, may be wrong for someone else, and vice versa. I live my life with the most honor, integrity, and compassion that I can - somedays that is a lot, others a little - but it is always the best that I have to give at that moment.

- My mom has always told me how important good health is, and I believed her but without giving it any thought. With my grandma Christina recently diagnosed with Parkinson´s (after surviving breast cancer and knee replacements) and others I distantly know struggling with different traumatic diagnoses, the truth of the statement struck me. Luckily, my cold will past - I pray for those afflicted with much greater trials and tribulations, whether they are family or not.

-I had a great time at Nossa Senhora Aparecida, especially in the car (3 hours each way) with my cousin Lu - he is hilarious! My only regret is that I forgot my camera. Ugh! But he said something that I hope to take with me - that each day he wakes up he doesn´t think about yesterday or tomorrow - he only thinks about how he can give his best today (especially in regards to his girlfriend). I thought that was beautiful and will hopefully be guided by that in my future relationships and in my life.

- Maria the maid and I have an uneasy truce. She doesn´t clean the kitchen while I am eating lunch and I say hello and goodbye. We don´t really talk besides that but I´m okay with that.

- I´ve started looking for jobs and places to live in Boston. AHHHH!!!! I´m not looking forward to writing cover letters or new craigslist roommates. I´ve had two good experiences and one crazy one - hoping for the former not the latter.

- I was working out everyday - for the past month- until this cold caught up with me. The past three days I´ve just sat around, staring into space (the tv was broken, I have no good books to read) and doing very easy crossword puzzles (anything above easy is too hard).

- I think my ex and I have successfully made the transition into friendship. At first that was INCREDIBLY depressing but now it is okay. Not great, not devastating, just okay. If you´ve be reading my blog you KNOW that this is quite the accomplishment. I´m not suffering over my ex or fretting about a future of spinsterhood. To which I say woohoo.

- I´m less obssessed with receiving mail and more obsessed with sending it - I´ve mailed 10 postcards the past week. teehee. hopefully you are one of the recipients.....teehee.....

Eco - Integrale

2007-10-27T09:34:00.000-02:00

Wow - I had fun last night. I have no idea why I woke up at 8:30am (given that I went to bed at 3:45am) but that is pretty normal for me. I am headed to the shrine of Nossa Senhora Aparecida today - my future tattoo - so hopefully I will sleep in the car (it takes about three hours to get there). So....about last night. Me and the "Fast Forward" crew (my school friends) met at the Vila Madalena metro station at 9:30p.m. We were all basically on time, how very un Brasilian of us!

I had heard of a restaurant, Eco Forneria-Integrale Pizzaria, in Vila Madalena that had whole wheat, vegan, and organic options, as well as meat. The crew was up for finding it and so off we went. We eventually made it there around 10:15pm, after several conflicting sets of directions (though I am proud to report that I was willing to ask). The setting was nice, the menu was made out of recycled paper, there was a very good (if somewhat loud) singer playing acoustic guitar. We were excited, even when the waitress said "um instantinho". (Whenever a Brasilian adds the dimunitive "-inho" to time you know you are in trouble; a "minuntinho" is usually five minutes, a "segundinho" is usually 10 minutes, and an "instantinho" - well you may as well go home).

Over a hour later, when we still had no pizza, but the table of 12 men who sat down about 20 minutes after us had eaten two pizzas, we were much less excited. We all started complaining in our native languages (Swedish, Japanese, English) with big smiles which provided a good 15 minutes of entertainment. I did complain in Portuguese, and both of the waitresses assured us that the food was on it´s way. They also tried to convince me that the men sat down at the same time but I wasn´t fooled.

I was the first to receive my food, I ordered a whole wheat calzone with tomatoes, brocoli, onions, black olives, and seitan. It took almost 15 more minutes for the rest of my table to get their food. Our spirits perked up, until we took a bite. The food was incredibly salty - and I like salty food. The black olives were whole olives, pit included, not quite conducive to eating pizza or calzones. The seitan had an odd ham like flavor. The dough was dry and the others told me their cheese wasn´t very good. That - on top of the incredibly long wait - definitely made this one restaurant I would not recommend for vegans visiting São Paulo.

Good thing we had so much fun at the party. I only lasted until about 3am - but staying out that late, eating dinner after 11pm, and trying (very poorly) to dance forro gave the night a very Brasilian feel.

Short and sweet

2007-10-26T13:59:00.000-02:00

Not much to report, and no pics to post, sorry! I am about to head off for a nap. Why? Well, I have a party to go to tonight, that gets started around 11pm or 12am and will last until 3 or 4am. Ahhhh....the Brasillian way. Prior to the festivities I am meeting up with some friends to try out an all natural pizzeria that has vegan options. I´m very excited! (about the food and friends).

This past week I have learned lots more about Brasil: CPMF (a ridiculous tax), Projeto Jovem (Lula´s project that is similar to getting a GED), PCB (the Brasilian communist party), obligatory voting, a little about the dictatorship. I definitely feel like I have a much clearer sense of the culture then I ever have before. I´m going to find some actual statistics - to augment the fact that I just ask people their opinions - before I post comments.

Things are slow going with the maid. Yesterday we didn´t talk at all. Today I gave her a box of paçoca (peanut dessert) and a pillow in the shape of a heart that says Brasil. She cooked me lunch in return. Ahhah! I would call that progress.

I feel like I am getting sick again, ugh! It may be allergies, I am not sure. I just started popping claritin, so hopefully that will help. The weather here is CRAZY and I blame it on that, not a weak immune system. teehee. I do feel like each day my portuguese improves. Which is great, but also has some pitfalls. I have to be careful, for example, with my pilates teacher. She has noticed my improved capabilities and has started talking more, BUT the more we talk the fewer exercises I do. As a generalization I would say Brasilians prioritize human interaction. My priority is flexibility, abs, and fitness - people connections are all good when I am not paying for it!

Speaking of paying....I feel like I have to acknowledge my mom and pops one more time. They have financed my schooling and transportation and Brasilian dream GENEROUSLY and without comment. But beyond their unquestioning, unwavering financial support they have provided moral support as well. I talk mostly of friends and boys, but I know for sure I won´t stay in Brasil past January, not because of an exboyfriend that I still love, or a new crush, or school, or a job - but because of them. I can´t live so far from my folks - it is the reason I transferred from University of Miami, FL to MSU, MI my freshman year, it is why I loved moving from California to DC, and it is why Boston is a viable option - it is only a few hours away from them!

Sharing the knowledge

2007-10-23T15:10:00.001-02:00

The past few days have led to improved lanuage compotency, provided some cultural insights, and brought more feuding with the maid. None of the below are scientifically validated or empirically cited but I think they are plausible observations worth passing along:

- I´ve learned the lyrics to happy birthday in portuguese.

- São Paulo has the largest population of gays in the world.

- Women greatly outnumber men in Brasil, especially in Fortaleza.

- In my opinion the above two statements account for why machismo remains so strong in this country (in addition to a long history of habit). The demand is great and the supply is low. One example of this disparity is the Brasilian phenomenon where it is okay to kiss 4 to 5 people during a night out, which often includes female friends fighting over the same man. No thanks!

- But men from Argentina are even more macho according to my very biased Brasilian sources. Apparently the men in Argentina are much better about opening doors and letting women off elevators first BUT they also (gross generalization to follow) feel entitled to any woman they want anywhere. I knew an Argentinan guy once and he wasn´t aggressive, but he definitely thought he was a very special gift to all women. Whether it is true or not the cultural rivalry between Argentina and Brasil is very amusing.

- A majority of Brasilians are born in December, about nine months after Carnaval - a time known for "freeloving".

- Southern Brasil, especially São Paulo, has a LARGE Japanese population. Today while reading a Brasilian magazine designed for people of Japanese heritage we learned that in Japan, during the summer, kids don´t eat ice cream or drink soda to cool down. They frighten eachother. Santomi, the Japanese student in my class, confirmed that this is true - again, only when it is warm. She says this partly accounts for the intense like of horror films in Japan. Ahhh....

- I grew up with a mom who always talked about how great it was to have maids. She was WRONG! My aunt´s maid and I can´t stand eachother. It isn´t all her fault, she makes $650 reais a month - a little more now that I am here. That is for about 25-30 hours of work a week. For that much money I don´t think I´d deliver a pizza, much less clean toilets, cook, and iron other peoples clothes. Since she doesn´t make that much money she often talks on the phone, invites the doormen up for lunch, eats all my good paçoca. I was fine with that until I learned that my family was paying her more to work more and that she said she couldn´t work as hard with how much I talk to her. Hilarious! Since I´ve verified this isn´t the case she´s stopped washing certain articles of my clothing, she doesn´t clean my room, she uses my phone charger, she buys the stringy tasteless mangos. And my aunt assures me she is much better then others. Despite her pathetic wages she has all the power. She has been my aunts maid for 17 years, I can´t complain about her or make her unhappy. I may sound like a paranoid conspiracy theorist but it is TRUE - she has declared war on me, in all the ways that an underpaid exploited laborer can. At first I was plotting my counter maneuvers, I was going to stop making my bed, I was going to take my phone charger with me, I was going to hide the paçoca. But alas, I´ve decided to take the higher road. I´ve actually never done this before - not liked someone and been nice to them - so I don´t know that I`ll be any good at it. I´ll keep you posted. All in all, the fact that I am even considering it lets me know that being in Brasil is having a profound affect on my personality.

-I don´t know what I`ll be like when I leave here but I know for sure I won´t be the same person that arrived.

what a difference a week makes

2007-10-21T12:24:00.001-02:00

Last weekend I was mopey dopey - this weekend I was a busy bee.

I´ve continued to have LOADS of fun with my fellow classmates. The teacher situation has been a bit more precarious though. On Thursday our teacher left in the middle of the class (never to return). I refuse to believe it was our behavior that drove her out, but we were a mite bit talkative. Thursday night her replacement had given us a ton of homework so I didn´t go to Samba Rock dance class - I have high hopes for this coming Thursday though. teehee. I have kept up with the trampoline class and just read that it combats cellulite. Wippee.

Friday morning we the crisis with teachers continued at Fast Forward but once again Dilmo came to the rescue. He is the best teacher I´ve had so far, there is only one left for me to test out. It isn´t that he puts forth SO much effort, he´s been doing this for five years - he has the material down flat. It is more that he is energetic, flexible, and doesn´t make us do every book exercise. We often play games, read interesting stories, and practice talking about our weekend and our interests. It makes class much more enjoyable. There is all of that, and his drawings. He knows English very well but doesn´t give us the definition in English - some people don´t speak English. Instead he acts out or draws the definition. The fact that he can´t really draw makes it all the more fun.

After class I met up with a very cool American, Zoe, who speaks French, Spanish, English and now Portuguese. We went to check into our hostel for the evening. It wasn´t as close or as cool as Pousada Francesa but everything was booked this weekend for Formula 1. It was clean and safe and that was what mattered. We didn´t spend much time there before heading back to downtown São Paulo to locate a bar that had been recommended for happy hour. We didn´t know the name or the exact location but we felt all the more Brasilian because of that. We were in the girls collective room and it didn´t occur to me I would have such a hard time sleeping because of all the snoring, but so it was. But....it was cheap, safe, and close to the metro (which I love!). It was worth while.

Happy hour was so much fun. I really had a fantastic time, and not just because
the caipirinhas were very good/strong. We met up at Choperia Opção near MASP - a very hip museum that is free on Tuesdays. I´ve become friends with Santomi, a Japanesse student that doesn´t speak English, so we must speak Portuguese with eachother. It is so great (before we were only speaking English). Without her as the incentive I don´t think we would be speaking nearly as much Portuguese. The picture on the left is the two German boys came with their Brasilian girlfriends (with whom they speak English - it is all very international) and Zoe. I really liked Chris and his girlfriend Catia - they are wonderful people. Catia taught me not to say muito mais melhor (it is like saying very much better). The picture on the right is of Santomi, Fred the Swede - also known as Felipe, and Zoe (again). Fred isn´t nearly as serious has he looks and all three of them are incredibly....skinny. It struck me as I posted this, but it is true. You can almost see the MASP in the background. After a few hours at happy hour Zoe, Fred, and I headed to a balada (club) to dance but things don´t really get going here until 1am and can last until 5 or 6am and we didn´t have the energy for that. Later that evening I also found out that that my cousin gave birth to her son, two months early. My grandmother has her first grandchild. He is doing well, even though he has to stay in a little incubator. No one can visit him or I would post pics. In a couple weeks I´m sure I´ll have tons.

Yesterday I went to the FABULOUS Ibirapuera park. I want to go everday! In the middle of the city is this beautiful park and planetarium (which I went to for only 5 reais). People were in VERY good shape and I was motivated to work out. I may try to go later today and run.

So I am learning lots and having a wonderful time, thanks to the floral therapy. Teehee, just kidding, but that is part of it I am sure. I´m very focused on making the most of my life here and being grateful for everything I have, even if it doesn´t seem like exactly what I want or a whole lot. Woohoo.

let´s try this again

2007-10-17T16:59:00.000-02:00

This weekend I felt depressed. Yesterday, before 7pm, I felt great. Today I feel okay. The roller coaster that is my state of affairs can be stressful but I like that my life isn´t monotonous. Two years ago I was in love with a man I thought I would marry and living in California; a year ago I was living in DC going to graduate school for librarianship; AND today....well now I am single, volunteering(jobless), in Brasil, maybe moving to Boston for a different graduate school. Given that my life is prone to change, in any feasible yet unimagineable direction, I am going to follow my grandmothers advice and "stop obsessing over lost love". Right now I am focused on being grateful for fulfilling my dream - a dream to live in Brasil, be with family, and practice Portuguese. I am doing that, yeah! Maybe it means that I don´t make romantic attachments, I get left behind by the ex, and I don´t have a lot of social interactions. And still I want to be grateful. I am also focused on feeling good about and liking me, not on how he feels about me or who he is with. I don´t know why I think I am so easily replaceable or why I would be attracted to someone that easily replaces me or stops loving me. In essence I want to work on appreciating this place, my life, who I am and what I bring to the table. What is that???? Conviction to do what I think is right, courage to make changes and be different, concern for the well being of other people, willing to learn from my mistakes, an ability to befriend people from all walks of life, and committed to retain friendships from various stages of my life. I´m not always strong in those domains, and I´m never all those things at once. But hey - at any given time I´m excelling in at least one aspect and there is also the possiblity for more. So you know what I say to that - wooho.

CULTURAL INSIGHTS:

Brasilians love pets. It is a gross generalization but I feel very comfortable making this assertion. On my walk to Gotas de Flor com Amor I pass by innumerable pet stores and vets offices. One day I will actually count. Also, I would say at least half of the houses I pass by have dogs. AND I´ve seen several dogs with shoes. It is true. The first time was at the mall. Most recently was on my way back from lunch yesterday. I hope you can see the blue booties on this dogs feet. I asked the owner, in portuguese, if I could take a picture and she graciously allowed me. Is this a testament of love or just plain ridiculous? You decide.....

Floral therapy is a phenomenon here (and not just because I am doing it). This past Saturday when I went and saw the incredibly funny "Os Homens são de Marte....e é pra lá que eu vou!" the main/only character, Fernanda, was constantly taking her floral remedy and the audience knew what it was and related with laughter. Floral therapy is the belief that the essence of flowers can help balance negative emotions. It is a homeopathic remedy that my aunt is trained in. I think the one I am taking right now is to help me realize my own value, strengthen my self esteem, and help me be calm about my (very) uncertain future. It may sound a little funky and new agey but I find it beneficial, and in conjunction with prayer and awesome words of wisdom from family and friends, I think it accounts for me feeling better. In addition to myself, my 85 year old grandmother does it, my super macho 33 year old cousin does it, and they swear by it. Hey - don´t knock it unless you´ve tried it.

Change. As long as I have been coming to Brasil there has been a shortage of change, though it is much better now then 10 years ago. I am not talking about political or social evolution or revolution. I am taking about money. I never receive the right change at the grocery store. I am usually given more, a centavo or two, but occassionally it is less. Hardly anyone has one centavo(cent) here but nothing is priced accordingly. I find it very odd. So if you travel to Brasil be aware that people don´t easily accept big denominations and are unlikely to want to make change.

bitter

2007-10-16T22:40:00.000-02:00

I will have you know that i wrote a post about dogs with shoes, floral therapy, and change in Brasil - saved the post - and when I came back to it....it wasn´t there. I am bitter. I may try again tomorrow. UGH@@@

but no worries - i wrote about feeling great.

It was a really great post - and now no one can argue differently. teehee.

The longest weekend ever....

2007-10-14T20:46:00.000-02:00

NOSSA SENHORA APARECIDA: The celebration of the patroness of Brasil was on Friday. Which means I didn´t have class on Friday, the gym where I work out at was closed, stores were closed, and the place where I volunteer on Friday and Saturday was closed as well. The city was dead, most Paulistas headed out for the beach.

WHAT DID I DO: A friend of mine - I´ve been talking to him about my frustrations about "getting over" my exboyfriend - emailed me, "have a great weekend! you´re in brasil for crying out loud, stop worrying about him and have some fun! he´s the one that is missing out." I have wonderfully supportive friends - and he´s right, I am in Brasil! But what does that mean? That I should be frolicking on the beach, in a barely there bikini, dancing samba in the waves? I WISH - well except for the barely there bikini. The reality, this weekend at least, was a little more mundane. I think that is the reality of living somewhere sometimes - beyond the exotic appeal, beautiful beaches, and attractive people - daily life can be very mundane. I ate, slept, and watched a lot of tv. If you know me, that is not my idea of a good time. I practiced taking pictures of my reflection - I think they came out pretty interesting. teehee. I woke up each morning, promising myself that I absolutely would not check my email or write my ex. Not only did I check my email each day - I checked about ten times. I also swore I wouldn´t eat any Flormel paçoca, my absolute favorite brand (my peanut obsession rears its ugly head), and of course I ate all of them and have to wait until Friday when my aunt can buy me more at the health food store. So the weight I ran off last week is definitely back where it started. I did go to the theatre Saturday night. It was a one woman play about the plight of Fernada - a 35 year old - looking for love whereever she could find it. I think I understood about 75% of the play (not bad), and for whatever I did or didn´t understand, it really was fantastic. Oh, I also made pancakes and looked at dresses online for my dad´s wedding. Tomorrow is another holiday - day of the teacher. At least the gym will be open....

HOW DO I FEEL: I feel like my life is on hold. I don´t know where I´ll live when I get back to the states or what I´ll do. I don´t know why I am moving to Boston anymore. I don´t know what I want to do as my life´s work. I don´t know how to make the most of my time here. I feel trapped by a lack of public transportation, friends, and family fear. The week flies by, with classes, volunteering, working out I hardly have time to think. But then comes the weekend, and I dread it. I sit around, think about my ex, struggling to learn from that love AND then LET GO. I worry that I am getting left behind. Honestly, I feel a little bored and a tad boring - and I`m in Brasil!?! Is that even allowed? I did talk to my pops - I put in an SOS emergency request for some phone time. And he told me how proud he is of me, how funny he thinks I am, and how much courage I have to always try and make the most out of life. He told me not to forget I am fulfilling a dream I´ve had for a long time. And that is what I feel most strongly - a desire to appreciate each day for what it offers and to love what is. Wish me well~

First week of classes

2007-10-11T16:21:00.000-03:00

FAST FORWARD: My first week of classes was great in some respects, interesting in others, and at times a tad annoying. The great = My teacher - Dilmo - is very experienced, organized, and entertaining. That is not always the case. And my classmates are fun. From left to right: "Nikolas" the German has a quasi girlfriend in Maceio and is looking to live there; Zoe is an American from N.C. who has lived in England, Portugual, and France and has a quasi boyfriend in São Paulo; "Felipe" is from Sweden (my blog from Monday mistakenly labeled him as from Switzerland - don´t tell) he is the baby of the group, working on an internship here to finish his bachelors degree; and Seppo is Finish and going to be living, with his wife, in Porto Seguro for two years. I´ve invited myself to stay at his house, his wife lived in Wisconsin for 7 years and I´m convinced I´ll really like her; and not included is Chris, another German who has a Brasilian girlfriend, who doesn´t seem interested in hanging out with anyone. Seppo´s last day was today so we ate lunch together at a kilo place (see below). I´m thinking about staying in a hostel nearby on Friday and Saturday of next week so I can go out with them (and others) at night. Even though most of my classmates have Brasilian mates (very different from Maceio) we are all interested in making friends and hanging out. I think it is great we skip the formality of "getting to know eachother" and just hang out. The interesting = We have no class tomorrow because it is a national holiday. Today during class they told us we won´t have class on Monday either, another holiday. But they are making up Monday´s classes since it isn´t a national holiday. I just find it interesting that they waited to tell us until today. The annoying = the school in São Paulo is much smaller then in Maceio so space is at a premium. That means six of us are in close quarters for the 200 minutes of instruction that we receive (they advertise their price for 4 hours of lessons but with three breaks instruction is less, and that is okay). Today, at our first break, two of the other instructors unexpectedly left, so our class and instructor joined the other class in a small hot room and watched a ridiculous film. And the fact that I live 30 minutes away with no practical way of meeting anyone for dinner or a night out is annoying, hence the hostel.

LUNCH: We ate a kilo restaurant - you are charged for your food by the kilo. I actually had quite a few options, and for the very affordable grand total of 8 reais (about $4.50), I had brown rice, chickpeas, cauliflower, tomatoes, two pieces of cucumber sushi, and goiaba juice. I actually wanted Açai na Tigela but we couldn´t find a place. The taxi driver pointed one out to me on my way home and I am headed there on Tuesday.

GOTAS DE FLOR COM AMOR: It is difficult to work at Gotas and take classes at the same time. I only worked at Gotas twice this week and will probably only work there on Monday of next week. I´m not too worried about it - I´ve put in one month and I´ll have to more months to work there when classes are done.

(Just to prove I was there...)

New Years Resolutions

2007-10-08T20:11:00.001-03:00

A little early, I know. But I can´t help it, I´ve had SO much success with keeping track of AND accomplishing my 2007 resolutions that I´m excited to repeat the process. Cooking more is definitely on the list. I keep track of about half a dozen vegan blogs all of which inspire me to wish I cooked more often! In Brasil I have found sweetened condensed soy milk and dulce de leite (from soy milk) that I eat straight out of the can but I´d rather make some type of vegan dessert to make with them. But what? In my defense I have limited options - I don´t have any access to vegan margarine and it took me forever to find baking soda (go figure). I have made brigadeiros twice with good results (Brasilian pseudo truffle). Any other ideas for something with easy to find ingredients and doesn´t take forever?

CLASSES: Today was great. I woke up at 6am, ran for 45 minutes, got ready for class and caught my cab. The amazing generosity of my mom and pops is allowing me to take FOUR weeks of portuguese lessons Monday through Friday. I have the same teacher I had when I was in Maceio (northern beach town in Brasil) almost 4 years ago. He (Dilmo) is great! There are six of us in class - two Germans, two Americans (including me), a Finnish guy, and a guy from Switzerland. I like the whole bunch - everyone is here for varying amounts of time but all seem very open to hanging out. The only downside is that we all live very far apart, but a cab ride here, and a bus ride there will likely overcome the seperation. Woohoo!

ANOTHER HOLIDAY: Friday is Day of the Child AND the celebration of Nossa Senhora Aparecida - the Catholic patroness of Brasil (and maybe my next tattoo....) I don´t have classes or work on Friday or Saturday as a result. The taxi driver (Jacinto - a GREAT guy) told me today that if there are three holiday´s in a month the city empties out. Brasilians work hard - have no doubt - but relaxation is equally a serious business. Is seems like a shame that my ONG (NGO) is doing nothing for Day of the Child, but their overworked/underpaid employees deserve the holiday as much as anyone. Here are some pictures and personality descriptions of the kids I work with - an early tribute to Day of the Child.

Lucia. She is in the 6-7 afternoon class. The others are in the 8-10 afternoon class. Very cute, well behaved, but opinionated. She seems to be friends with everyone but not close to anyone in particular. My only worry is that she is seven and you can already see the pose she is striking....

Daniella. I have a soft spot for Daniella because she took to me immediately. She asks me to buy her shoes,cell phones, or just give her money but she doesn´t seem to mind that I always say no. She puts herself down quite a bit, and others as well.

Taina. She is a very pretty young lady. She has a pretty tough exterior but, as with most of the kids, can amaze me with how loving she can be. I would say she is the bossiest of the group I´ve posted here. There is one girl in her class - Bia - that far exceeds anyone here in toughness and bossiness but she isn´t very friendly so I don´t interact with her much.

Last but definitely not least. Marianhe. She spends most of her time with Daniella. She is quiet, gentle, tender, and PERFECT. For Day of the Child she told me all she wanted was a kiss. Daniella told her that was lame - actually she called it feia (ugly) her favorite derrogatory term. Marianhe told her she was wrong - there is not better gift. She is always has something nice to say and I adore her. She usually doesn´t come to the bookmobile on Saturday´s but was allowed to this past weekend because her older brother accompanied her. He, a teenager of an undistinguished age, twirled (what is the right term?) the jump rope for the girls, set up chairs, and sat quietly watching her without ONE complaint. This mom and or dad have the magic secret.

Is this too much to ask for?

2007-10-07T09:17:00.000-03:00

My grandmother sent me a forward about the story of the parents of some guy whose name escapes me. The part of the story that I´m posting here struck me as exactly what I want. "He" doesn´t have to be Catholic, or make any certain amount of money, or even be good with directions. I´d just like someone that wants to figure out how to get there with me.

"Until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work. Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn't seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage. (Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.) He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin's Church. She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish's two priests was on duty that morning. If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home. If it was the assistant pastor, he'd take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests "Father Fast" and "Father Slow."
After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd explain: "The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored." If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream."

There is more to the story but that excerpt captures most what I´d like in my life. Two different lives, religions, interests completely intertwined. I know, I know - I´m totally messed up. I plan on getting intensive therapy when I get back to the states. Teehee.

But you know what!?! I´m healthy, I slept well last night, my family loves me, I´m doing some great volunteer work, and I received three letters last week. Woohoo! So don´t worry about me too much - life is good. There is nothing that any of us can do about the boy/love thing - but you can do something about keeping the letters coming.....

Random images of daily life in Brasil

2007-10-06T20:15:00.000-03:00

Here are some random images. The photo farthest to the left is one that I walk past everyday on my way to Gotas de Flor com Amor. I call it "poopy corner". Not very sophisticated but an apt description. The sidewalk runs along an apparently abandoned parking lot. My theory is that since there is no one to protest every dog owner in the neighborhood brings their pet here to do their business, without worrying about cleaning it up. The first few days I was walking I hadn´t quite gotten my bearings - I have a very poor sense of direction. I made the mistake of walking on that sidewalk more times then I like to remember. I´ve learned my lesson. The upper right photo is a public payphone. A large percentage of Brasilians have cell phones but as of yet the system of public payphones is still in place. I love their shape and color.
The photo below the payphone is of an avocado. Yummmy. There are a variety of avocados available here in Brasil. I like this one, because it´s huge - more to eat - and I think it has a natural sweetness that lends itself well to my avocado mash.
The photo to the far right is a stick. Yes. It also happens to be a bus stop marker. I have yet to take public transportation here in São Paulo. I walk, get a ride, or take a taxi. I´d like to but my family is very reluctant to allow me to. You might say ´well Melissa, you are a big girl (you´d never say old) - why don´t you just get on the bus?´ You see that stick. How does anyone know where they are going?
Starting Monday I´ll be taking Portuguese classes for the next four weeks. I´ve mentioned that I´ve taken intensive Portuguese classes - about 3 years ago for 2 1/2 weeks. I´m trying not to have any expectations because I´m always most pleased when I don´t have any preconceived notions (my time in DC, my roomies at 1830, my time here, etc). But I´d be lying if I didn´t admit that I´m really hoping my Portuguese improves and I´d like to make friends.
Right now that is what I miss the most. I miss going out, chatting over drinks, making fun of eachother, and commiserating over loves gained, endured, and lost. I wouldn´t change anything about my life - where I am, what I am doing. My only sadness stems from feeling like I am not making progress in moving on with my life romantically. If anything I am regressing. Friends or no I guess I have to just get over him. It is just so much easier when there is someone new! Whine, whine, pout, pout!

Happy Birthday Elena!

2007-10-04T11:50:00.000-03:00

Happy birthday amiga!

ABSENCE EXPLAINED: I´ve been sick. Just a cold, but tiring and brain numbing nonetheless. Plus I haven´t slept well the past two nights. I´ve been having dreams/nightmares about running into my exboyfriend with his new girlfriend. I wake up with an unpleasant knot in my stomach around 3am and have trouble falling back asleep - which doesn´t help the sick thing. But I realized this morning, after some "bate-papo" (chatting) with my fab exroomie Moose and some hard core working out, that if he finds happiness, love, and marriage with someone else it isn´t because something is wrong with me. I´m imperfectly perfect for someone - just not him. Taha!

DR. TIO: An interesting phenomena to being sick in Brasil is that my uncle is a doctor. Wednesday afternoon I woke up (I hadn´t slept the night before) and he had told my aunt to buy me a mountain of medicines and some drops for the left ear that has been bothering me. Immediate medical attention is not something I am used to - I struggle to find a doctor that accepts new patients much less actually make an appointment with them in the U.S. I thought it was just a cold, what´s the big deal? But to be honest - my ear is better and I almost feel great. Woohoo.

MAIL: I got two care packages on Monday. I was so excited. They know who they are - so thanks! The most useful present was the book - The Journeys of Socrates by Dan Millman. I finished the book in the wee hours of one sleepless morning. I felt like some Harry Potter crazed adolescent. It is fiction, which I don´t normally read, but I really enjoyed the book. My pops sent it to me and had previously quoted from it in an email to me, "no matter what comes your way, if you take a rigid position, you experience pain. Never oppose force with force. Instead, absorb it and use it." I´m prone to confrontation and conflict so I found that sentiment particularly profound. Most of all I was moved by the statement "Only by surrendering to God´s will does one find victory in battle and serenity in life." I believe that and I´m working on it.

UPDATE: I start Portuguese classes on Monday at the Amerispan language school in São Paulo. I´ve signed up for Pilates - based on the great experience during my free lesson and I´m learning new words in Portuguese related to the body. I taught my first English class to 6-8 year olds on Tuesday (the only day I´ve volunteered this week). That was a blast - I need to take pictures of them. I fought with my aunt and resolved some concerns - all in Portuguese. I´m so glad I´m here and not somewhere in the States where it is getting colder. Teehee!

An image of some of my favorite foods. Yummm.....

(condensed soymilk, goiaba juice, sesame bars, paçoqua with oats)

One month anniversary

2007-09-29T15:39:00.001-03:00

Me and good ole Brasil have been "dating" now for about a month. I want to reflect on what I love and what I would do differently.

MY TRUE LOVE - Brasil!
#1. I love the way people honk as they drive through intersections. It is to warn people that they are running a stop sign or not yielding but it always feels like someone is saying hi.
#2. I love the fruits - they are so delicious.
#3. I love that my family is crazy but intensely devoted to eachother.
#4. I love getting hugs everyday.
#5. I love eating lunch with my grandmother. I love her complaints, worries, and obsession with forcing me to take food with me.
#6. I love that Brasilians almost always greet eachother and say goodbye, whether an old friend or stranger, often with a hug and kiss.
#7. I love how you can always do something for free before you committ. I have a free Pilates lesson on Monday morning. I worked out at my gym for one week, no cost, and was allowed to take all the classes - to see if I liked it. I am taking a free Samba Rock lesson on Thursday night. Woohoo.
#8. I love the ALONG (stretch) class that I take. I love that the instructor asks people what their name is if they are new and strives to remember it.
#9. I love that at the bank, grocery store, etc there is one cashier dedicated to the elderly and handicapped. Much of this country is not designed for those with impairments but I believe that Brasilians genuinely care about other people.
#10. I love that my aunt lovingly forces me to be independent and treats me like I´m smart. She refused to make my hair appointment, she encouraged me to walk everywhere, she´s sending me to a favela with a stranger to see if I want to teach English. I like that she expects a lot out of me because often I feel like people treat me like I am slightly dimwitted and slow, when really it is just that I can´t speak the language very well. It´s giving me a deep sense of humility and appreciation for what foreigners must go through in the States.

IF I COULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN....
- I would take two or three weeks of language classes upon arrival. But hey - I´m going to start taking them now....
- I would stay at the bank when the ATM ripped me off and figure it out.
- I would flirt with the cousin´s friend and the cute storyteller.
And that is it! I wouldn´t even call them regrets, just lessons to learn from. It will be interesting to see what I love at the end of my time here.

p.s. I´m getting sick - boohoo! And I still haven´t received my packages. Que pena!

Food Fiasco

2007-09-28T07:12:00.000-03:00

This past Sunday I was at a birthday party for one of my cousins (Victoria). One of my other cousins - Flavia - set up a "date" with my Tia Sô for Thursday evening to come over and chat with both her and me. She speaks English perfectly, but more then that we other have similarities, and I´ve always had an affection for her. Well - we set this up in the presence of two of my other female cousins so we invited them along as well. I didn´t feel like I could stop there so I invited all my female cousins to come to dinner at my house - that I made. Only two made it - Flavia and Monica (thank goodness).

FOOD FIASCO: I decided to make the Mushroom and Sun-dried Tomato Risotto from Vegan with a Vengeance. Mistake #1= making something I had NEVER made before. I went to the grocery store and couldn´t find dried shiitake - so I bought dried porcini instead. No problem. But then I couldn´t find sun dried tomatoes, rosemary, or nutmeg. Yesterday afternoon I got home around 3pm - plenty of time for the insanely late dinner we had planned at 8ish/9ishpm (how do Brasilians do it???). I started by making scones for the strawberry shortcake. I didn´t have time to make homemade vegetable broth so I had bought a vegetable buillon cube at the grocery store....or so I thought. I couldn´t find them anywhere yesterday, and by the time I was ready to prepare the dish it was too late to run to the grocery store. Mistake #2= making something I know nothing about without several key ingredients. The recipe in VwaV serves four so I decided to double it. The whole process went fairly well. Risotto is labor intensive but I didn´t cut any corners (just ingredients) and 45 minutes later it looked like I thought most risottos should look, thought it tasted bland (obviously). Mistake #3 = letting the risotto sit in a hot pan for two hours. When it came time for dinner I was left with a gelatinous gluey mucky mess. They loaded up on cheese and olive oil and nobody said a word. My first inclination was to comment on how overcooked it was but I couldn´t decide if that would then invite more criticism or I would have to deal with protests of denial. You never know with Brasilians - they can be very nonconfrontational and complimentary or they can be brutally honest - and I wasn´t really in the mood for either. The strawberry shortcake was okay. I made the Macadamia Créme the night before and it would have been very good if I hadn´t burnt the nuts while roasting them. I didn´t have the time to redo it the day of the dinner so I didn´t serve it. I made the strawberry sauce the night before which is not a good idea - the strawberries lose texture and the taste is slightly alcoholic. Luckily I had another box of strawberries that I cut up and used. But I don´t really think it was to their taste - except for Tia Sô who ate four scones. I should have just made the avocado mouse I have perfected (we eat avocados sweet here, not salty)

On a scale of 1-10, one being the worst fiasco ever and ten being an enjoyable food fiasco, I would rank it as a 4. The food wasn´t very tasty but (hopefully) it didn´t make anyone sick and wasn´t burnt or green. What makes it SO bad is that now I will always be that American that says I like to cook but can´t really cook. It is like an affirmation that I should have just ordered out or left the cooking to the maids. AND I´m sure this information will spread like wildfire through the family: "Melissa´s dinner wasn´t very good, watch out if Melissa says she wants to cook, the food wasn´t that tasty...." But never fear - I will perservere! Teehee. Flavia plans on inviting me to dinner at her house. I am just going to make something and take it (only if it is really good) and say I am so bummed the risotto sucked and lets try this.

And don´t worry - I won´t starve. Between my aunt´s grocery shopping, my grandmothers insistence that I take food from her house, and my biological father´s very good cooking, I am only gaining weight!

Besides all that I am doing well. I received a postcard. Woohoo. I love mail.

Today was a bummer....kind of

2007-09-24T21:58:00.001-03:00

BAD NEWS: Gotas de Flor com Amor has been an non-governmental organization (ONG in portuguese) for 15 years. They have several properties - but the first and primary property is where I work on Rua Vicente Leporace. It is a place where kids go when they aren´t at school, they offer "classes" in the morning and in the afternoon. Gota´s is committed to each child´s development as citizens of their community and the world. Kids get to go to museums, they went to the fazenda last Friday, they do school exchanges (Liceu Pasteur and Mobli), they take computer classes, dance classes, they read fairytales and create art work, they go to the library and basketaball court once a week, they have access to a psychologist and dentist. Older students work to make recycled paper (I helped one day). The work is amazing. Gotas makes sure the kids are fed - either breakfast and lunch or lunch and a snack. Gotas allows them exposure to cultural realities they would not otherwise be able to access. I benefit greatly and contribute very little from volunteering there. I work three to five hours a day, I process some books and play with kids. Really, up to now I have done nothing of any consequence. Today I went to Gotas in the afternoon - there was a meeting for the teachers in the morning. When I arrived the librarian Rose told me that Gotas was experiencing financial difficulties and the meeting that morning was to fire two professors, an office administrator, and the dentist. Instead of attending Gotas everyday kids will only be able to attend twice a week. These drastic measures are in order to avoid having to close completely. It is so sad. The librarian´s job is safe because her salary is paid for by a large corporation (C&A) and apparently Gotas receives significant assistance from Oracle. I would give anything for circumstances to be different - one of the teachers leaving is the one other adult (besides Rose) that I talk to. But circumstances aren´t different and so I will do my best to assist them in this incredibly difficult transition. I´ve never been more grateful that I am here instead of somewhere else (DC, Boston, NYC - who knows with me!)

Lemonade out of lemons: (not all was bad....some highlights today)
- I got my glasses fixed. (I stepped on them Sunday) I went to the mall and they are almost returned to their original state. My tia gave me the HARD sell to buy a new pair (mine are ugly, I need a backup, my grandmother will buy them for me). I was considering it until I remembered how ridiculous it would be to spend almost 200 dollars on something I don´t need. I have contacts and I only wear glasses at night. I work with some kids at Gotas that can´t afford one pair of glasses. Paulo - one of my favorites - is blind as a bat and everytime he breaks his coke bottle glasses he has to wait weeks for them to be fixed. It is so easy to fall into the consumerism trap - especially at the mall. But I resisted and am using my perfectly fantastic glasses at this very moment.
- I found rice milk today, with NO SUGAR added. I love rice milk. And I usually try to go one day a week sugar free but I haven´t been able to since I arrived in Brasil. (everything has sugar in Brasil- soy milk, bread, etc) Now it is a possibility, woohoo!
- I ran hard. I love running. And I had a great stretch class.
- I talked to Vanja on skype. Skype rocks. Why? #1) it is FREE #2) the connection is great #3) it is free! And Vanja is great. woohoo. If you don´t have it, get it, and we´ll chat
- We got mail today. I personally didn´t get any mail but my aunt did. Which means....the two packages I am waiting for can´t be far behind.....

What I miss

2007-09-23T13:35:00.001-03:00

I´ve been in Brasil for three weeks now and there are a few things I miss. Luckily, for everything I miss there is a "replacement" of sorts.

1. I miss my mom and pops. Four months is the longest I think I will go without seeing them (in like the past 10 years). - Replacement: all my wonderful extended family and biological father.

2. I miss watching college football - especially MSU. (4-0 baby). There may be a pub where I can watch some. Keep your fingers crossed. -Replacement: rubgy. I am starting to really like it.

3. I miss my running crew (RICH). We were more then just running partners - we were motivators, cheerleaders, and friends. -Replacement: my IPOD. Not quite the same thing but keeps me motivated to run hard.

4. I miss my friends. I´ve been very lucky and I have some amazing friends. During my time in Cali I didn´t make many friends but the friends I had I was very close to (Sarah, Elena, Michelle) and I think I´ll be friends with them for life. The short time I was in DC I had a much larger network of super fun, if somewhat more casual, friends (Mike, Lauren, Kaitlyn, Alyssa, Chris, Landyn, Sallie, Moose, Chorizo, above mentioned running crew). And in both places I had the old timers (Vanja, Donaldo). Either way I always had something to do Friday/Saturday night (if I wanted) with people I really liked. -Replacement: My 85 year old grandmother. Okay - so maybe that doesn´t count, but hey - it has only been three weeks and it takes me a while to make friends. If my portuguese improves or I met some English speakers my odds increase.

5. I miss Moose and Chorizo. I miss Moose´s pasta salad and fantastic planning abilities. I miss Chorizo´s obsession with pumpkin muffins and her meat eating ways. -Replacement: gchat.

I don´t miss peanut butter or cashew butter because I can buy it here. Oh yeah!
I don´t miss any particular food. I´ve been super lucky with what I eat - from family support to dad´s great lasagna.
I don´t miss movies because Blockbuster is right down the street and my aunt has like 10 movie channels.
I don´t miss email because I do that every day - at least twice a day. (it borders on addiction).
I don´t miss mass because I can walk to church and go at least twice a week. Though I do kinda miss knowing the prayers.
I don´t miss talking on the phone because a long distance relationship cured me of liking talking on the phone.

Regardless of who or what I do miss, I ´m glad I am here. It´s been a dream of mine for years and everything in my personal and professional life aligned to make it possible. I´m truly blessed.

2007-09-21T22:29:00.000-03:00

Portuguese: I´m happy to report that I will be starting Portuguese lessons at EIGHT am on Thursday. My teacher is 90 years old and has enormous St. Bernand that hates me. I had my doubts, and I was hoping to join a school since I met such cool people the last time I was here and did that (Diana, Patricia, Cordy, Charley). But three hours later - walking home from my fantastic stretch class - I found myself repeating what she had taught me in the 5 minute introduction I´d had to her alphabetization method. That convinced me to give it a try. And really, the more time I spend with those 80 and over the better!

Love: I´m feeling really good. My exboyfriend seems less interested then ever - which probably means he is interested in someone else, so that isn´t why I feel good. (it does make the conflict over whether I will get back with him upon my return kind of a mute point) No, I feel good because I had a momumental revelation. I was watching a film this morning about a 53 year old woman looking for love. I wanted to call my exboyfriend right away. Partly because I love him and miss him, but mostly because I´m frightened of the prospect of being alone in 25 years. And that is when I realized that I am scared of being alone - not right now - but in the future and that is a cause of a lot of angst. I don´t know if my exboyfriend is the one - I think we have the ability to make any variety of people a soul mate. For example, this morning at the boomobile I developed a minicrush on the storyteller who donates his Saturday´s mornings to entertaining the kids. I don´t know if he is married, gay, or a cannibal (and I´ll never know because I don´t know how to ask)- but he was super cute and so funny and great with the kids. And I had a thought - when I get to Boston I am going to continue this type of work, I´m sure I´ll meet someone with the same values and I´ll be attracted (and I promise to flirt). I mean - before I left DC I met someone who piqued my interest - so it helps me not feel so bummed about my ex (who I dumped) moving on. Because whether he was the "one" not and even more important then finding a boyfriend or a husband, I don´t want to live in fear of being alone. I just want to live - for right here , right now. Maybe I will be alone in 25 years or maybe I´ll pass away tomorrow. All I can do is live for today. I didn´t read Bryon Katie three times, do the Landmark Forum, and watch the Peaceful Warrior twice for nothing! It does feel like everyone in my life is in love and getting married, or married and having kids. Which is great. I can´t wait to support friends, that I love like family, in these big life altering events. A big part of me wishes I had that too - but right now I don´t and that is what allows me to spend 4 months here. So for the rest of my time here instead of worrying about love - I am going to focus on living without fear of the future. Wish me luck (or pray for me if you do that) and remind me when I forget....teehee.

Food: I am so lucky - despite repeated offers to eat food that isn´t vegan (Freegells don´t have gelatin!) - my family is SUPER supportive of how I eat. Tia Lecy took my grandmother and I to Moinho de Pedra, the vegetarian restaurant I´ve been to three times now (of the four times I have eaten out). Tia Sô (who I live with) went shopping crazy at a all natural grocery store near her therapist. She must have spent 100 dollars on foods that definitely don´t have eggs or milk. Have I mentioned how much I love my family!?!

Television: Soap operas here are high class entertainment. Tia Sô is redecorating her apartment. When the interior decorator came over (an hour late - another Brasilian trait) at 9pm they sat down and watched Paraiso Tropical (this is the last week) and didn´t discuss the remodel until the soap opera was over. Soap operas are primetime television. They don´t last years, usually less then one year, and I love them. Paraiso Tropical is insanely interesting right now because tons is happening. One woman has left her husband twice this past week - the first time I don´t understand why, but the second time was because she thinks he got some other woman pregnant! What makes a soap opera different here? It´s nighttime slot, the great acting (including two actors from Primo Basilio - a pretty popular movie in theatres right now), and it´s short run gives watching it a greater sense of urgency. My favorite shows to watch on TV are soap operas or movies (like the 40 year old Virgin) dubbed in Portuguese. Hilarious!

Mail: STILL NO MAIL!!! Apparently the workers that are striking are those that deliver the mail. GREAT! But I have been mailing letters out, hope you are getting them! Even better, my Tia Sô just bought me the most beautiful postcards. They are delicious. I only have 5 but I plan on getting more.

P.S. - I know I should be a librarian because when I go to the gym I can´t help but put the weights in the right order.

Ode to maracujá

2007-09-20T18:52:00.000-03:00

Maracujá is passion fruit - but I have never seen passion fruit in the states like in Brasil. (I have to be careful with spelling and pronunciation because just one vowel separates this fruit from a swearword). It is actually incredibly ugly - inside and out. It smells wonderful but tastes somewhat bitter and unpleasant. I love it as juice - with loads of sugar.
Here is the way "we" make it (Tia Sô and me): scoop out seeds and pulp, place in blender with 8 oz. of water, blend. Strain mixture to remove grainy black seeds. Place remaining liquid, a few ice cubes, and sugar to taste back into the blender. Whirl away. Drink. Hmmmm....yummy. Unfortunately, Tia Sô´s maid doesn´t make it that way. They way she makes it is kinda gross and I don´t ask her to make it, she just does it because she knows I like it. So what can I do? I drink one glass in front of her and dump a little (or a lot depending on how bad). I made the juice to the right.

Speaking of food - I am sure I am eating non vegan foods. Why? Because for every 10 foods I refuse, I accept 1. For example, the students at Gotas love these candies called Freegells - which I am sure has gelatin. I think they are gross but I often am given some various flavor. Like I said, after about 10 refusals I am usually worn and will accept one. Usually I don´t have to eat it, I can give it away, but sometimes the ´giver´will sit there and watch me. It is really hard to refuse food being offered as a token of friendship and affection. Or food being offered as a cultural exchange. Rose - the librarian- offers me a variety of foods daily. I take my own lunch to Gotas - even though they provide food for the children and staff - which everyone finds very odd. Rose, to whom I explained I am vegan, sums it up by saying I don´t like Brasilian food. (that is NOT it). Rose will always offer me something, usually a dessert, and say "it doesn´t have meat". In my head I think - "the list of what I choose not to eat is a lot longer then that". But for the most part, as long as I don´t eat out, and pre-empt offers by taking a juice or some rice in lieu of non vegan food, I am able to maintain my nutritional lifestyle.

Speaking of Rose - she told me today she is going on the trip on Friday. Great! I´ve already refused and made other plans. Well, at least my loyality is established. And I guees I don´t regret it too much - a day long (8:30am to 6pm) trip with a bunch of (great but WILD) kids repeating what I say because they are deeply amused by my accent, with a small petting zoo or something odd on a mini fazenda isn´t exactly the day tirp of my dreams. Though I am sure it will be fun. Next time, next time....

Mail - I saw a postal delivery truck today, I think that is very promising. Additionally, I went to the post office and it was open so I mailed a card today. I can imagine letters zigzaging the Atlantic as we speak.

Ela fala mal/má, mas ela entende melhor

2007-09-19T14:09:00.000-03:00

"She speaks badly (or wrongly - I couldn´t decipher which adjective she used), but she understands better."

I went to the NGO Tertio Millennio this morning and when the director was on the phone that is how she described my Portuguese. Regardless of the adjective it´s true! But despite that, I may be teaching English to their adolescent mothers on Wednesday´s. My Portuguese may be crap but my English sure is up to par. Teehee.

The best part about today - lunch with my grandmother. She is so fantastic. Why?

#1) My very wealthy and prestigous uncle is having a birthday bash to DIE for on October 4th - no nieces, nephews or grandchildren are invited in order to keep the guest list to 200. He is turning 70 and by law must retire from his judicial position. The party is going to be uber chique (chic). So today my grandmother told me that she is worried/scared. Everyone wears high heels to be chic but she can´t - they hurt her feet too much. What is she going to do? She is seriously concerned. I hope I conveyed to her that people aren´t going to judge an 85 year old woman harshly for not wearing jewelry or high heels.

#2) I asked my grandmother how old she is. She was aghast - she will never tell! Her reaction was priceless.

#3) I took our dishes in the kitchen and started to wash mine - she ran in, with a mouth full of food, and started swatting at me with a rag, mumbling "não, não". She refused to let me clean the dishes.

#4) She always loads me up with food when I go there for lunch. I have to eat a lot, but more then that, I have to take food with me. And her argument is always "it isn´t fattening", even if it is.

#5) I asked what she was going to do with the rest of the day and she said she was going to clean the dishes, take a shower, and watch tv. Then she told me "I love TV!" She said when she watches TV she doesn´t think about anything, like how my cousin Alé - who is 6 months pregnant - is in Chicago right now on business. That worries her a lot. She especially likes detective/police tv shows. We watched Criminal Minds before lunch. She doesn´t have a thought in her head when she watches tv - that is how she described it. (Alé, Vó, Me)

#6) She tells great stories. She told me how her family are a bunch of drunks and that is why she has never had one drink, not one!

#7) The street outside of her house is undergoing major construction, which causes major traffic, and every time the cars stop she points out the window and insists I look and see the horrible traffic.

#8) She calls herself "your lazy grandmother". She is working on two crochet/knitting projects (I can´t tell the difference) but she says she is too lazy to complete them - she just wants to watch tv.

#9) She never calls anyone by the right name the first time. I´m usualy Lec-Melissa or Cami-Melissa. But she does it with everyone - and so do my aunts.

#10) She doesn´t understand my accent (I had to say nove three times today for her to understand I was saying nine) or my wrong & bad Portuguese, but she still tells me how intelligent and wonderful I am.

I am doing pretty well. I didn´t sleep well last night because I was stressed about getting a cab and going to Tertio(not sleeping as a result of worrying runs in my family). Tomorrow I have to go to the bank and try to figure out why the ATM charged me for money I didn´t take out - without a receipt or the ability to speak anywhere near fluently. I am sure I won´t sleep well tonight either. Ugh!

Strange Day

2007-09-18T20:12:00.000-03:00

Today was.....well.....odd. Why? For several reasons.
-DREAMS: Every night since I have arrived in Brasil I have had the most vivid dreams - from missing a flight to Russia, to my exboyfriend calling me and telling me about his new wife, to two former high school "frenemies" becoming good friends. Last night I had another incredibly realistic dream that had me waking up some what out of sorts, it involved serial killers and home improvements. I blame the dreams on the incredibly hard mattress that is status quo in Brasil.
-WORK: I got to work a little late today - as I was walking I ran into two students. They just got out of school and were headed home before going to Gotas de Flor com Amor. It was great to run into them but them didn´t seem to realize that English and Spanish are not the same lanuage - they asked me to teach them Spanish. Once I got to work I was excited to learn that we started computerizing our very basic bibliographic records (in essence author, title, and date). Meetings are often held in the library and today Umparo - 2nd in command - hosted some college students that were interviewing her about Gotas (just yesterday reporters were filming the library). When she saw me she said she wanted to talk later. When Rose heard that (the librarian) she leaned over and whispered that I was going to get invited to something on Friday and I had to refuse and say I was working in the library because Rose hadn´t gotten invited. I did get invited and I did refuse. I mean - I really want to go to the "mini-fazenda" but Rose has been great to me and next time I will just pretend I didn´t understand.
-BANK: I left Gotas early, and the apparently world over work drama, to go to the bank and get some money. Now - this took some courage. Brasilians have this AMAZING ability to tell the scariest most fear inducing stories prior to an action. My aunt has reportedbly told me how dangerous it is to get money from an ATM each time we drive by a bank. Addtionally, on Sunday, at my uncle´s very fancy luncheon, my aunt related my desire to go to the bank and my daily walks. This brought up the story of my cousin Rodrigo and his wife Carol. Two weeks ago they were held up. This included a revolver being held to Carol´s head, their watches, credit cards, and cellular being stolen. Even scarier, they were held by one thief while the other went to the bank and accessed their account. They were eventually released - with more emotional trauma then physical (thank God). This happened on Republique do Iraque, a street I walk on everyday. They tell me this for what reason I don´t know. Now - before my beloved ones worry, Rodrigo´s watch is worth more then my credit card, cellular, digital camera, sneakers, and backpack put together. My cousin Flavia seconded my thoughts by verbally confirming that I am not a target like her brother. I´m happy to relate that each ATM was occupied when I went to the bank and no one was held up while I was there.
-SIDEWALK: As I walked home from the bank I saw a little boy - 4 or 5 - with his mother. What made this strange? He was peeing in a bush with his underwear down by his ankles on a VERY busy street (Jose Diniz). Even odder? No one seemed to notice. My initial thought was I wish I had a camera to take a picture of this but then I realized if I posted that type of picture I would probably be arrested for child pornography. Trust me when I say it was flagarant and obvious - there was no attempt to move behind the bushes or by the mother to camoflague her son.
- EX: Almost two months after I broke up with my boyfriend and I still have days where I suffer a lot. Today was one of those days. I want him to be happy and find love and I want him to never get over me and get down on one knee and propose. I´m excited to meet someone Catholic and interested in travel and yet I feel like I never want to hold someone else´s hand. Strange day indeed.

The joys of family

2007-09-16T08:52:00.001-03:00

My cousin turned 33 on Saturday. Woohoo! I was invited to his birthday lunch at Fogo de Chão but I didn´t want to go. I was tired from my morning of ´brinca na rua´ and Fogo de Chão is basically a meat buffet. My pops loves the place so I´ve been there often. (I have two dads - so for clarification I call one pops and one dad) But refusing family invites, especially for special events, isn´t an option. So I went, and I am so glad I did. It gave me a chance to appreciate life with extended family.
Tia Sônia, my grandmother, and I walked in just after 2pm and it was Lou (the birthday boy), Lou´s girlfriend, Camilia (Lou´s sister), Tia Lecy (Lou´s mom), and Ze (Lou´s brother-in-law). All family. Except for one of Lou´s friends. Just one. Hmmm...I thought to myself, that is odd. We all sat down at the bar and chatted for a bit, waiting for my uncle. **Sidenote: thank goodness I ate a little before I went because we didn´t sit down in the restaurant until after 3pm - I would´ve been so moody and hungry. I´m still getting used to the "timing of eating", which is what I blame on why I eat a lot at 6pm (snack) and then again at 8:30pm (dinner)**. At the table Lou made sure to sit his friend across the table from me. I didn´t say much to the friend because he doesn´t speak English and I speak a disgusting Portuguese (I say things like "she come to birthday" instead of "he came to the party"). I did get to talk to Ze (who is married to Ale - the sister that wasn´t there) and Camilia. That is one of the best things about being in Brasil - spending time with family. The two of them are so funny. Laughing and getting to know my cousins didn´t give me time to think about why Lou made an exception and invited his friend - apparently they both spend a lot of time together studying to take an exam to become a judge. After lunch we went back to Lou´s house, cut some cake, and then my aunt and I had to leave to go get a pedicure. As I got in the car and my tia Lecy asked the aunt I´m living with (tia Sônia) if I liked the friend. Ah hah - my suspicion was confirmed! She then went on to tell me all the reasons I should like him - he is calm, organized, and the clincher - Catholic. She wrapped up by labeling him the kind of man one should marry. I laughed so hard. She convinced me I should be interested as I was driving away. Alas, I missed out on connecting with the kind of man I should marry. Tia Sônia thinks it is because I am too timid. Maybe, maybe. (my friends will laugh at that and I think it only applies to men). I find it very easy to flirt with guys I´m not interested in AND I´ve spent most of the past 7 years thinking I knew who I was going to spend my life with. I´m accepting that the man I thought I was going to marry, my first love, won´t ever show love the way I want so I need to move on - and flirt with the ones I actually like....but he will probably have to speak English for me to have any success. Lets see if I get any other opportunities......

The family´s attempted hookup, rather then annoying me, made me feel so loved. The fun part is I didn´t grow up with lots of family around "looking out for my best interests" - so I´m still getting into the rhythm of getting clothes they think will look good on me, being advised on haircuts, and having my weight noted each time I see someone. Along with my best interests is finding a husband. Anyway...the point being that I´m so glad I am here to have my family meddle in my life. It feels good to be called (sometimes 6 times a day), questioned, poked, prodded, encouraged, and most of all loved. Family is great!

The pics have finally arrived....

2007-09-16T08:31:00.000-03:00

Capoeira

The beloved librarian - Rose

Me having some fun

The bookmobile (Ônibus)

Favelas where most students live (one lives at the blue door)

Brinca na Rua

2007-09-15T07:02:00.001-03:00

I have gotten quite a few concerned comments by those in the know about my walk to work. Perhaps I have exasperated this by posting pictures that make the walk seem perilous, with homes fortified for guerrilla warfare. It is actually a beautiful walk. It is spring here so the weather is warm and sunny every day - but not yet quite humid (which leads to a lot of locals complaining about the dry air). And I´m in love with the mailboxes here - there is all variety and colors and styles - all located safely within a fence or gate. (sidenote - the postal workers are on strike right now, hopefully not for long)

Besides the mailboxes what else is different about Brasil?:

- MASS! The elements of mass remain the same (liturgy of the word, liturgy of the eucharist, etc) and it is still clearly recongizable as a Catholic service but there are distinctive differences. Perhaps I notice it more since I understand so little of what is being said. During the Eucharistic prayer the assembly has SIX responses - in the US we have one. On Friday we didn´t do intentions, we went straight from the homily to preparation of the offering. But more then that the feeling of mass is different. There always seems to be an added Hail Mary here or there, the singing seems more fervent (though not necessarily better), and the assembly seems more eager to participate. But, as with all my observations, they are based on a few encounters in a few places.

- Mops. Here the mops looks like a windshield wiper with a much longer handle. On the rubber end they wrap an old dry rag and sweep and then with a wet rag wash and with a clean dry rag dry. All the rags are reusable so it seems more environmentally friendly.

- The standard of cleanliness. Most middle class families have a maid to clean and cook a few times a week. The more money you have the more laborers you hire - cook, maid, nanny, driver, etc. My aunt has one maid, Maria, that comes for about 6 hours a day 4 times a week. My bathroom is cleaned four times a week. Imagine! By my standard the two of us aren´t very dirty but Maria seems to have plenty to do to keep her busy. She cooks a few items for me - beans and rice - but I try to prepare the rest. I make my bed everyday, though Maria would do it. I try to straigten up my room but when I come home she has always rearranged it to her own organizational scheme. She does my laundry and irons my clothes. There is no dust in my aunt´s house. Really, in comparison, I am a filthy dirty person. Left to my own devices I can let the floor go unswept, the clothes unwashed, and the bathroom untended for quite a while. Maria just may be the reason my aunt and I get along so well. Teehee.

- Abundance of manual labor. People can afford maids beause labor is very cheap in a Brasil. There are (too) many people with little to no education that come to São Paulo for the hope of a better life. I don´t know if what they find here is better then elsewhere, and migration has diminished, but with almost 20 million people here and a relatively high unemployment rate (10-20%), there are a lot of people that are willing to work for very little.

Obviously there are more differences, language, culture, cuisine, etc. But those are big picture differences. In my time here I am trying to capture the daily moments that constitute an entire lifetime.

Today I work at Gotas de Flor - we have a grand festival - the "brinca na rua". It is basically a street fair where all the children and their families are invited to come and enjoy. There will be face painting, free hair cuts, maincures, etc. I´m definitely going to try and get some pictures.

Short visual on fear

2007-09-12T09:36:00.000-03:00

I don´t know if you can see the images clearly but this is an example of what fear looks like in reality. Most homes have some sort of security measures in place. The property on the left has a concrete wall which is topped with broken glass and wiring that will electrocute a person upon contact. The house on the right has no surrounding fence - slighly atypical for Brasil. Instead it has the electrical wiring running along the roof and fairly impressive barb wire. There are some houses, interspersed among these well fortified homes, that simply have a short pointy fence and a mean looking dog. It is something to be walking down the street and see these type of anti-theft measures. There is a tremendous disparity of wealth in this country, and it really means something to be rich here, but it comes at a cost - constant fear that someone will attack and try to take it from you.

I don´t eat french fries but French sure sounds cool

2007-09-11T17:38:00.000-03:00

Gotas de Flor com Amor (Flower drops of love - which represents the founders belief in floral therapy) has a well established monthly exchange program with Liceu Pasteur - a very chic, and expensive, French school.
About the school:
At Liceu Pasteur all subjects, math - geography - history, are taught in French. In addition to that students are required to take English, French, and Portuguese classes 4 times a week. They must then choose between Spanish or German, which they take 3 times a week. If they plan on going to Europe they typically chose German, if they plan on staying in the Americas they choose Spanish. But that is not all - they also have the option of Latin. But only students with the aptitude for Latin are allowed to remain in that class. In theory they graduate the school fluent in up to 5 languages. Wow. The students are definitely fluent in Portuguese and French, I didn´t test their English. But I know that 5 classes a week doesn´t get most Americans anywhere near fluent. I do think their language education is more rigorous then our own. Their basketball/soccer area was larger then all of Gotas. Now mind you, Gotas isn´t a school for history, math, etc, but still... And all this costs more then what most Gotas parents make in a year. (oh, and the kids look VERY american with Blink 182 t-shirts and Nike hats)
Okay - about the exchange:
One month - like September for example - students from Gotas get on a bus and got to Liceu. Next month the students from Liceu will come to Gotas. Today at Liceu we made "Mabre" ao chocolate - a cake. What a hilarious experience. The kids were supposed to seperate the yolks and beat the egg whites. One group didn´t even bother seperating the yolks from whites, one group put in the whies and tried to beat the yolks, and most groups didn´t have the stamina to beat the whites very much. But it was fun watching the children interact - the boys were definitely much more welcoming then the girls. What is the matter with females?

Overall observations:

- When we were driving back to the school we drove past a favela (I´ll explain why I don´t take pictures later) and one girl said "that´s my house". At first I thought she was kidding, but then others chimed in and we saw one girls mom. It will never cease to amaze me what incredibly difficult circumstances these children endure.
- I could never teach in the states again. I was walking around today and Matheus - about 12 - came up and gave me a big hug. When he didn´t want to help with dishes later I laughingly dragged him into the kitchen. Later a girl I don´t even know, from Gotas, gave me a hug. Affection has ruined me for North American standards.
- Fear is a serious business here in Brasil. I get warned over and over again to watch out. I walk by a favela every morning and evening and I think my family is suprised I´m never accosted or even approached. My aunt today told me about how a man approached her as she entered a bank. He asked for directions and she said she didn´t know where the place was. The guard at the bank told her the stranger wanted to steal her purse. He didn´t but the message is clear, everyone is out to get you. I feel perfectly safe walking to and fro each day - but I keep it very simple - no jewelry, no camera (the reason I have a dearth of photos). I question Michael Moore´s legitimacy but I agree with his proposal that fear is what maintains the status quo. Poor people here live in a misery that can hardly be imagined, as is true of much of the world, and fear is a tool for keeping things the same.
- The news here is so much more interesting then in the States. They don´t talk about celebrities here. Imagine!? They report on corrupt judges and police officers accused of assassinations. They may propagate the fear but they don´t glorify the unimportant.

Sunday wrapup

2007-09-09T09:42:00.001-03:00

(all the pictures the kids have given me)

My observations for the week
RELATED TO BRASIL:

- I had some very deep conversations with my aunt this weekend - she is a psychologist or psychoanalyist or something. Anyway - we talked about several social "ills" in Brasil today. She mentioned that alcohol and drugs are a big problem here. That shocked me. Before I left the states I had read that there were several groups advocating for changing the drinking age back to 18 - the reasoning being that binge drinking is caused by too much restriction. But restriction is not a problem in Brasil. (I just found out that there is law here that you must be 21 to drink at bars and nightclubs but it isn´t really followed.) In Brasil they say the reason kids drink too much is because of not enough restriction. It seems to me if young adults are drinking whether there are strict boundaries or not, then perhaps the issue is deeper. Has technology - that which has given us so much convenience and comfort - also alienated and isolated us? Hmmm...

- This is the first time I haven´t felt fat when in Brasil. I don´t know if that means I am more comfortable with my body or the people around me are getting bigger.

- Regardless of the above statement, beauty is very important in Brasil. Small bikinis, a certain type of wax job, striking women - this is the cultural export of the country. Women spend hours at the beauty parlor getting nails done (which can be more painful then you ever imagined - they cut the cuticle here like it is a fungus), get hair colored, cut, shampooed, and teased to extremes, and then get every other hair on their body exterminated. Beauty isn´t just to look good, it is the national identity. (that along with music, dancing, and soccer). My mom told me that there has never been an Nobel Prize winner from Brasil. Imagine if America was adored and exalted for basketball, rap, and swing dancing. The worldly image of a nation shapes individual perceptions and insecurities.

- My aunt told me there is a saying here in Brasil that the Portuguese came to take what was valuable and they weren´t interested in creating a civilization here. Brasilians believe that mentality exists to this day - export the best and don´t worry about improving what remains. I´ll have to think about this one for the next 4 months.

UNRELATED TO BRASIL

- I am 28 and cannot figure out how to get along with my brother, who is almost 23. Here I am, thousands of miles away, and I still fight with him. We have ALWAYS had a very tumultous sibling relationship - but from the end of May of 2006 to June 2007 I thought we were doing great. And then it goes to crap. Ugh! The one person I would really love to love and I cannot figure it out. I can´t help but feel that is reflective of some flaw in me. Double ugh!
- My aunt has two cats. I would love a cat - but I´m so resistant to the idea of fulfilling the librarian stereotype to the letter: single, glasses, a bun, with a cat. I did cut my hair so no more buns. I wear contacts occassionally. And maybe I won´t be single forever. Teehee.

Pictures!

2007-09-08T08:43:00.000-03:00

Ahhah! So here are some pictures - finally. At the advice of my fantastic poppa I reduced the size of the images and now can post them online. Woohoo. To the left we have some essentials - my portuguese grammar (impossible!) and some frozen foods. I hope Moinho de Pedra is open today so I can buy some more or I´ll have to resort to cooking for myself. Which in theory I love to do - but in practice.....to the right is the infamous bidet. People continue to tell me that it is fantastic. But look at those three knobs - what do you do? And in the middle is the wonderful belly of my beautiful and quite pregnant prima (cousin) Alessandra.

I don´t know that I can take photos of the children at Gotas de Flor com Amor but I´ll give it a try. The first week was amazing. I have no set schedule but each day I work for a little bit in the library and with some group of kids. They are divided into 6-7, 8-10, and 11-13. I assisted with the English class for 11-13. I taught parts of the body by playing head, shoulders, knees, and toes with them. Gotas has a basketball court and some soccer nets. The 11-13 year olds asked that I teach them a basketball lesson, I hope I get to do that. The 8-10 year olds are my favorite, I have spend the most time with them. These kids are definitely survivors. Many of them are quite frank about getting hit by their parents and have no shame in living in a favela - and nor should they. Nearly every day they draw me a new picture for me to put on my fridge. I´ll take a picture of their pictures.

Yesterday was Independence day and I was quite lazy. I sat around and watched soap operas (a great way to learn the language - really!) Translating Portuguese in my head is quite exhausting, so I took naps. I received my first letter and am inspired to correspond. I love the act of writing a letter. It is almost cathartic.

But now I must go to the hairdressers - I´ve resisted nearly 7 days, though being offered many times- and must get my legs waxed. It´s been a long time, and the pain will enormous. Wish me luck.

Tia Melissa

2007-09-04T16:38:00.000-03:00

I just completed my second day of `work´at Gotas de Flor com Amor. I´ve inherited about 100 nieces and nephews. (All adults at GFA are called tia or tio). It has been a wonderful few days. I think the pattern will be - in the mornings I help out in the small library on the second floor. In the afternoons I´ll assist in the 8-10 year old classroom (they like to make fun of my portuguese and ask me to say their names in English.) Today was a little different. The amazing librarian, Rose, her husband (who drives the bookmobile), and I moved and cleaned the `onibus´-as we refer to it. I went inside a favela today with Rose and a student. We needed brooms to sweep because we were supposed to be filmed on the onibus (which didn´t happen at the last minute). The favela (which is actually much nicer than most) was another world. I can´t even imagine growing up there.
Overall, I have noticed some significant differences in the care of school children here vs. the United States.
#1) These children are very quick to fight, and that may be true of poor kids anywhere, but the teachers never yell at them and the kids get over it in an instant. Today a young, VERY energetic, boy named Paulo slapped Jose across the face when Jose said he couldn´t stay in the game. Very calmly the staff pulled the two boys aside, resolved the issue in two minutes, and let Paulo continue to play. I feel like kids get away with a lot here, but they are such great kids it can´t be too bad of a thing. #2) We have a book in the library with pictues of naked people and their genitalia - it was written for 6-10 year olds. It is about sex. Umm....I don´t think we even let 18 year olds look at books like that. #3) Teachers and adults here don´t hate teenagers. In the States, whenever I said I taught 11-14 year olds people screamed in horror. That is supposedly the worst age ever, right? Not here. Maybe the difference can be atributed to a culture that encourages people to hug and kiss each other as a greeting. It is hard to be moody and alienated when you are getting hugged all day.
Some non related observations:
- Upper class Brasilians seem to have a real self-hate of their country. My uncle thinks the English are so much better at planning and organization, my cousin thinks everything American is fantastic. It is a little odd. I am basing this on a small sample set but I know that historically Brasilians have long felt this way - they used to be Francophiles and now they are Anglophiles.
- It seems that the upper class really thinks there isn´t a race problem here. Huh? You don´t have to be in Brasil for but a few moments to realize there is a significant racial division, which would be construed by most as a problem.
- There seems to be a consensus that North Americans proved how hippocritical and racist we are with Katrina. I agree. But Brasilians seem to be blind to the fact that their own people, typically darker skinned, live in very similiar conditions every day for years and years - they´re called favelas.
- Bidets, in theory, are great. But really, how are you supposed to use one?
- If you don´t live in a very touristy spot it is hard to find postcards. I think that is true everywhere.
- Brasilians must be smarter then Americans because they have to conjugate about 1000 verbs 10milion different ways - this language is impossible! I may need to take a class.

So how am I? I´m loving it. I miss my parents and a boy I shouldn´t miss but I couldn´t be happier to be here. My family has been SO supportive of my diet and I´m lucky because vegan isn´t a word in the portuguese language. The first day I felt like I understood 80% of what people said, Sunday I thought I understood 10%, today probably 30%.
p.s.I tried to upload pictures but it won~t let me. Argh! I can´t even email them. I´m going to figure out a way.

Woohoo

2007-09-01T17:59:00.000-03:00

I´m here. Where you ask? Brasil! Teehee.
Looks like my life here will be very busy and I´m oh so glad. It will also revolve around me learning portuguese and my family fretting about what I eat. Being here makes the list of what I don´t eat seem very, very long.
I did go to a fantastic vegetarian restaurant today, Moinho de Pedra, and the head chef/owner personally told me - in English - what the vegan options were. I may just live there. They also have produtos naturais e organicos so I was able to stock up on some supplies. I have my favorite cookbook with me and plan on including a culinary adventure on my Brasilian journey.
I am off to a family party, taking my own food, and will post pics soon.
Abraços e beijos

A book review

2007-08-30T13:00:00.001-03:00

I haven't ever really written a book review - so here goes.... I just finished reading King Leopold's Ghost by Adam Hochschild and Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. They are completely unrelated in genre and subject matter but equally significant in terms of the impact they've had on me (over the course of this week). I thought I could bang out two reviews today, but seeing as I'm leaving for Brasil tomorrow, I only have time for this one.....

Hochschild's non fiction work covers the Belgian king's exploration, colonization, and exploitation of the present day Democratic Republic of the Congo. It is a sorrowful tale of unimaginable cruelty and the powerful result a few dedicated activists were able to affect. The most notable portions of the book are devoted to the exploration of the Congo by Henry Morgan Stanley, the atrocities committed in the Congo, the roles of various activists, and the defamation of King Leopold's character. On all fronts the author lays out a clear, concise sequence of events.

Congo was King Leopold's personal fief from the time the United States recognized the territory in 1884 until the time the king sold it to Belgium in 1908. While King Leopold never stepped foot in the country, he fully exploited its wealth and presided over a system of mass murder and torture. The worst of terror in Congo occurred during the late 1890's/early 1900's and it is possible that up to 10 million people died.

Hochschild does a thorough job of identifying detractors and supporters of the colonial system created by Leopold. While few people today could describe the merciless system of colonial rule, a substantial number may be familiar with Heart of Darkness, by Joseph Conrad (about the Congo). Conrad was but one of many prolific activists that exposed the colonial inhumanity in the Congo. The author humanizes the beleaguered efforts of the four key men, George Washington Williams, Edmund Dene Morel, William Sheppard, Roger Casement, and their efforts to inform the world about life in Leopold's Congo. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Hochschild definitely implicates the Catholic Church in legitimizing Leopold's reign of terror. His analysis encompasses clergy that "were mostly Belgian and loyal supporters of the king and his regime", and includes the Vatican's encouragement of American bishop James Cardinal Gibbons to lobby on Leopold's behalf.

Hochschild also, to the point of extreme, presents King Leopold as a horrible husband and father, with no concern for human life or cultural pursuits, with an architectural mania that bordered on obsession. The very real disparagement of character is effective and done so with the intent of contradicting the humanitarian image the king tried to craft for himself during his lifetime.

The notes are extensive, nearly thirty pages, but only give sources for direct quotations. That is apparently remedied by an equally impressive bibliography. However, there is no way of knowing which statistics belong to which source. Since this is a popular work, equally as likely to be read by someone with a casual interest rather than a scholar or student, it is debatable if that methodology makes sense.

The book was readable and the topic is of tremendous importance. Colonialism was a greedy racially motivated system of dictatorship that looked very different in Africa and Latin American then in North America. Africa today still struggles with issues that were exasperated by colonialism - slavery, corruption, tribal and class divisions. Hochschild does a good job addressing the lack of documented African voices and questioning the long term impact of the activism. However, with a genocide not too far in the recent past (Rwanda) and currently happening (Darfur) it is good to be reminded that if the concentrated effort of a few, black and white, could defeat machinations of a king. It is nice to think that we too can make a difference.

Faith

2007-08-29T14:25:00.000-03:00

Sometimes it is hard to have faith. And by faith I mean "belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion". When is it hard?
Institutional Shame
It is hard when "a beloved icon" - Mother Teresa - of my faith (Catholicism) is revealed to have doubted for fifty years. It is equally hard when at least 4,127 priests (4.3%) of my faith institution have been accused of sexual abuse. It is quite the challenge to look back at the actions of the Catholic Church - through the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, and during the relative institutional silence throughout slavery, colonialism and various genocides - and avoid disillusionment and disappointment with faith.
Daily Struggles
Faith is also hard in the contemplation of living daily life. My faith dictates chastity, weekly mass attendance, and being pro-life. What is hard about that? As a newly single 28 year old it is hard to contemplate dating in 2007 without the seemingly prerequisite sexual exploits that people my age indulge in. When I was 15, the age I took first communion and was confirmed, it wasn't a problem. Now it's more of a challenge. Other issues are hard for me - like homosexuality. I think people are born homo or hetero sexual and I think God doesn't make mistakes. And what about abortion? I wish no one needed one but I'm resent that more time is spent on berating people and politiking instead of creating a society of love and abundant resources.
Hardest of All
I think the greatest hardship of faith is not doing whatever I want to do, whenever I want to do it. Especially in a day and age when the popular message and lifestyle of those around me extols the virtues of premarital sex, cohabitation, convenience, and is rather critical of organized religion in general and Catholicism in particular. An atheist friend gleefully emailed me news of Mother Teresa's doubts. All of my best friends aren't practicing Catholics and ALL use birth control and sleep with whom they want when they want. There are times when I doubt and fail to feel the presence of God (though never for 50 years). There are plenty of times when I don't agree with "my" church and loads of times I stray and sin.
Perseverance
So why do I keep my faith? Because I believe - despite disappointments, failures, and hardships. I use the analogy of American democracy. The government has taken many actions I don't agree with - from assisting in assassinations of legitimately elected officials (Lumumba) to turning a blind eye to genocide (Rwanda) to the exploitation and corruption during the current Iraq war (Cheney - Halliburton) but I still believe. I still have faith in this country and what we say we believe in - even if that isn't always our practice.
The same is true with the Catholic Church.
I am willing to sacrifice for my faith - whether it be giving up dairy and eggs for a socially conscious diet that reflects a faith in human action - or if it's going to mass every Sunday, trusting current priests aren't pedophiles, and honoring the dignity of life from the womb to the tomb so as to reflect my faith in God.

Vegan Culinary Delights from Coast to Coast

2007-08-28T11:16:00.000-03:00

The past week has been filled with treats and eats from various vegan eateries coast to coast.

In NYC I was able to sample the wares of Babycakes.

In LA I made sure to visit Zen Bakery, Soul Vegetarian, and Rahel's Ethiopian.

This past week I also saw four of the coolest ladies in Southern California, rode the subway in LA for the first time (despite having lived in SoCal for 4 years) and whooped it up at the Library Bar.

I have lots of pics of people and not so many of the food. I read the chapter on the Secrets of Restaurant Reviewing from "Will Write for Food". It was very informative and got me interested in doing some formal restaurant reviewing. Given the parameters set out in that chapter I can't authentically review any of the above mentioned places. I only ate one time at each location and didn't do any required research. I will give my informal uninformed first impressions though.

My omnivore parents were actually bigger fans of Babycakes products than I was (we purchased brownies, a lemon cupcake, a slice of lemon poppy loaf, and cornbread). I eat gluten so I am not familiar with spelt products and I have to say I wasn't a fan of the result in cupcakes. I did enjoy the frosting though. I think the breakdown with vegan products that mimic nonvegan foods is that it is hard to appreciate the taste without comparison.

I loved Zen Bakery - for the simplicity, price, and abundant fiber. I purchased a banana nut muffin, two peanut butter carob cookies, and two raspberry blueberry muffins. The menu says dairy free (makes no mention of eggs) but the website and clerk at the counter confirmed that the items were vegan. Here I didn't suffer from the pains of comparing products - Zen Bakery makes and markets muffins that are "good" for you. I don't know of any butter, milk, egg and sugar "healthy" muffin that could compete. I expected healthy and got healthy. Best of all the muffins were $1.10. Can you believe that??? I got all of the above mentioned products for $6.55. That reason alone will have me going there every time I visit LA. I did heat up the muffin and top it with some coconut milk for a divine treat.

Having spent the past year in Washington DC - and a good portion of it living off of Georgia Avenue - I became very familiar with Soul Vegetarian Cafe. The experience in LA was something else all together. The location is beautiful and the atmosphere is relaxing - which is surprising given the silver paint and disco ball. And the waitress (Carmen) was so much friendlier then anyone I ever encountered in DC. I eagerly ordered grits, a biscuit, sausage patties, and scramble. I was most eager for the biscuit which came out looking like a flat greasy lump and tasted like heaven. Just goes to show - looks can be deceiving. I wasn't overly impressed with the grits, but I did grow up with a grandmother from Alabama who made some wicked grits.

Before I took off from LA I made sure to sample some food from Rahel's Ethiopian Veggie Cuisine. I had Ethiopian for the first time when I moved to DC, just over a year ago. I really can't comment intelligently on the quality of what I eat - I have very little understanding of what "good" Ethiopian food should taste like. All I know is that I love most of what and where I have eaten. I didn't notice a difference between DC and LA Ethiopian. Little Ethiopia in LA is chock full of restaurants, and while my friends went to Nyala, I felt compelled to spend my money at a vegan establishment. I didn't take pics of course (how do all those vegan bloggers remember to snap photos before eating the yummy food?). I ordered the veggie combo which came with three large pieces of injera and loads of split-pea and split-lentil stew. I think the atmosphere in Rahel's was much more pleasant than at Nyala's. And of course I think eating vegan food is much better then meat. Teehee.

Overall I had a great time in LA and while many people may not get a chance to visit some of these places I think it is important to seek out local eateries. Whether you eat veg food or not I think we can all benefit from staying away from chains!

A parting shot of the coolest friends a gal could ask for...

Who am I and what is this blog?

2007-08-21T11:38:00.000-03:00

Who am I and what is this blog?

By labeling myself vegan there seems to be a certain expectation, one being that I am an animal rights activist. I am not. I am a human rights "activist". By blogging as a vegan there seems to be a certain community standard to take pictures and talk about food. I only do that occassionally, and not very well. Bibliotecaria is portuguese for librarian but my blog in no way resembles the blogs of the library world. I am still in library school I've spent the past year working in an academic library and I can't see my blog ever being in that mold.

So who am I and what is this blog?

When pressed to identify myself I would say the most revealing label would be that of Catholic. That is the foundation that informs all my decisions, and it was my convinction about loving others that led me to veganism. I read a vegan blog earlier today that disparaged an important Catholic ritual called confirmation. I was triggered and saddened to think that people that chose a lifestyle often disparaged by others do the same in turn. It got me thinking about the question I often wrestle with, can I be a devout Catholic, AND a liberal social justice activisit, AND a vegan? I don't know if the answer is yes, but I am trying it out.

By labeling my blog in a way that identifies my Brasilian roots, my library interests, and my food choices (veganbibliotecaria) I think I've limited all the ways in which I view and see the world. I would like my blog to be more then my personal diary online - that seems too ego centric. At the same time I want share my observations and the information that I personally think matters in a larger context. Maybe no one will read this blog, maybe someone will. I am going to live (and blog) for this moment, regardless of the past or future, without restrictions or expectations according to labels and categories.

I am in NYC until August 30th (with a four day vacation in LA) and then I am off to Brasil to volunteer and spend time with family for FOUR months. Who would have thought that transferring library schools - losing 12 credits and a scholarship - and breaking up with the man I wanted to marry would lead to one of the most exciting times of my life?

NYC is amazing. Much more difficult to navigate then DC (my last port of call) or Boston (my future home, post Brasil). Determining what to do and where to go is a much greater challenge here then anywhere else I've ever lived or visited. Once I find a place I love I go back again, and again, and again.....

Currently my two favorites are Life Thyme and Franchia. I prefer Life Thyme baked goods to anything else I've ever had. I've blogged about them before, but I just can't say enough about their cramped space, quick service, and vegan mostly organic baked goods. I walked to their store on 6th ave and 8th st. from E.4oth and Lexington. I love the walk - it is easy to tell I am not a New Yorker because I look up and around in wonder the whole time but I'm not the typical tourist - I avoid 5th ave. like the plague. I had the lemon cake yesterday, a very moist cake with no cloying sweetness. Not quite lemony enough for me but I love lemon in a way most people don't. The $4.50 pricetag was comparable to DC and this is NEW YORK CITY! Sidenote: the almond cookies are superb. I have yet to experience Vegan Treats - but for a healthier sweet tooth satisfier Life Thyme is unbeatable.

I didn't take pictures when I ate at Franchia, mostly because I feel awkward taking pictures of food in public. But I swear by their assorted dumpling dish with a side of miso sauce. Even better then the food is the tea and atmosphere. It's not cheap fast food but it is well worth it.

Let me signoff with the reason why I visit Croydon, Pa as often as possible (I was just there for 4 days):

My last DC moments

2007-08-14T11:19:00.000-03:00

I really really love this town. If I'd been here for more then 13 months I would have pretended it was my hometown. And who's to say I won't return. The intellectual fervor, the activism and foment, the abililty to live car free - this was my kinda town.
There is so much I want to say about my last few days here ~ the great samosas at Indique, the incredible jazz club HR-57, the thoughtful vegan luncheons on Saturday and Sunday hosted by carnivores nonetheless, the absolutely amazing people I met in my very brief time here. But when I think about the past year it is really last night that I hope stays with me forever.
I went to the final screen on the green for the summer of 2007- a showing of Casablanca. The weather was perfect and the pasta salad was delicious. The company of friends was fun (though a few were missed) and the movie.....well, the movie was classic. This is the memory I hope to hold near and dear to my heart whenever I think of DC.

Here's looking at you kid

Pumpkin Oatmeal Vegan Pancakes are so good in my tummy

2007-08-09T07:44:00.000-03:00

When I started this blog back in May I used to blog about what I quickly assembled for my lunches but they weren't all that creative or unique. Then, I signed up for RSS Feeds through Bloglines, and I realized how many amazing vegan food blogs exist. I decided not to poorly replicate what is being done well elsewhere. I do love to cook but I often don't have the time or motivation. Right now it is very hot in D.C. - as in much of the U.S. - but humid in a way that is particular to August in this swamp (which is why all the politicans go home), so it's not a good time to use the stove. However, I came home last night determined not to eat out - I'm saving my last dimes to eat at Indique tonight for Restaurant Week. My good ole standby is pumpkin oatmeal vegan pancakes - a VWaV recipe that I've modified. I LOVE pumpkin and make muffins and breads and cookies with the squashy goodness. I braved the stove last night because this is a great recipe for me on several fronts - I love pancakes, for taste and ease of assembly, and it is a great meal to dole out single servings - which is good for a single person.

Here is my recipe (relatively thick batter):
DRY
2 c. flour (I've used whole wheat pastry flour or unbleached all-purpose)
1/2 c. oatmeal (not instant)
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
* I combine all the dry ingredients
* heat skillet at very low heat
WET
1/2 c. pumpkin
2 T canola oil (can use less)
1/3 c. water
1 1/2 soy milk (if using rice milk use LESS - it is more 'liquidy' then soy milk; I personally prefer soy milk for baking and rice milk for drinking)
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 T maple syrup (optional - I don't add)
* mix well and add to dry mixture
* do not over mix your pancakes
* plop them onto the griddle/skillet and let 'em cook away. In picture you can see that pancake turns deeper color as it cooks.

This recipe is very forgiving and you can easily modify amounts. I like pancakes that have a very bread like consistency so I like my batter thick. When I spoon it out I have to manually spread it around. Want runnier pancakes - add more liquid. I only make as many pancakes as I am going to eat and save the batter for another day. I only put Earth Balance on mine but like I said, I lack creativity and motivation.

I really am going to write up the hummus story from the Christian Science Monitor. Tomorrow maybe....

Remaining open to love and listening to the melody

2007-08-08T15:53:00.000-03:00

whoa - breaking up is hard to do. (I've heard that somewhere before....)
Since breaking up with my boyfriend of 18 months (who was also a friend of 7 and 1/2 years) I've had a few low moments. Like ignoring the man who asked for money and when he started cursing at me cursing back at him. He was most likely drunk and probably mentally ill. I on the other hand.....
So I emailed my mom and told her of my shame and she wrote me the most brilliant advice, I just had to share it. She said: "Indeed sweetheart -- sometimes life is so hard. And sometimes there is nothing we can do about it -- as hard as it is for me to say that, that's the true. Sometimes life sucks and we just have to accept it. I suggest that you rest in the pain you feel right now and don't' resist it. The old saying -- 'whatever you resist persists' -- somehow comes to mind as I am writing you this.What is really going on? Are you angry, sad, frustrated -- all of the above? Then rest in it -- punch a pillow, scream out loud when nobody can hear, cry -- give voice to your emotions. NO matter what you are feeling I recommend -- don't close your heart to love. Love the beggar even when he yells at you, and your friends even when you feel disconnected, and keep your heart open even when you hate your ex-boyfriend -- but most of all Meli (that's me) -- love your-Self and embrace your-Self even when you look back and see what you don't like about you, even when you yell back at the beggar -- love your-Self even when you think you don't have any love in your heart."
Yeah - my mom is a genius. She also clued me in to this amazing site about gratitude. And it was there that I did the practice of being grateful for my uniqueness. As I contemplated the "melody of my life" I was originally skeptical - seemed like some new age hippie stuff. But as I worked through the practice I realized mine is food. I love to eat food, I love to learn about food, I carefully contemplate each day what I put in my body and what that means for me, my community, the world, the planet. So if I am passionate about food (not necessarily making it but I like that too) - can I tie it into librarianship? Along those lines...I read a great story about hummus (oh so yummy and vegan) that I'll be posting tomorrow.
Here I am - newly single, with undefined passion, cursing at beggars. Life isn't always pretty but it keeps me on my toes.

If only I could do downward dog facing south...or something like it

2007-08-06T15:46:00.000-03:00

Sometimes I get discouraged. What is my direction? What is my purpose? And I think that is inadvertently apparent in my blog. Do I want to cull articles that highlight positive practices taking place in schools? Do I want to review vegan products? Do I want to urge social justice action? Do I want to post recipes? It changes. I am leaving for Brasil soon (August 31st) and depending on my internet access I may focus on what it means to be a vegan in a "third world country" (sorry mom - she hates it when her country of origin is referred to so disparagingly). There doesn't seem much point in doing that right now since it is being done very well by other bloggers, like: the conscious kitchen, the urban vegan, don't get mad get vegan. So for now bear with me as I flit along in whichever direction the wind takes me for that day.
Recently Pirate Booty was recalled, supposedly several ingredients sourced from China may have caused the outbreak. It amazed me to find out how far removed I could be from what I eat - figuratively and literally. I don't want to buy food with ingredients sourced in China, for ethical and health reasons. But it may just be impossible to avoid - as noted on MSNBC. Eating local is a big movement and potential alternative but unfortunately it is not the silver bullet. An op-ed in the NYTimes articulates the caveat to eating local.
There are no easy answers to the worlds problems. Social justice, environmental conservation, quality of life issues are all incredibly complex issues with incredibly complex 'solutions'. I think the underlying answer is that it is important to remain flexible. Now that I need a lot of practice with!

Darfur - take action!

2007-08-01T10:13:00.000-03:00

I wonder if you have heard about Darfur. On one hand I truly hope so - it is a geographic region of Sudan with a 'situation' that the president of the United States has declared a genocide. On the other hand - I hope not. If you haven't heard about Darfur maybe that can explain why it has been ongoing since 2002/3 and TWO years after stating that the killings in Darfur are genocide people continue to die. Whether you have, or haven't, or somewhere in between, now is the time to really pay attention. The Sudanese government (who harbored Osama Bin Laden) is very resistant to any 'foreign' involvement and their position is basically supported by China and Russia. However, the Sudanese government has more then proven they have no interest in truly resolving the problems (death, rape, forced removal) in Darfur.

Please take action. The U.N. just authorized a joint peacekeeping force (African Union + United Nations), which is great. But they've done that before (August 2006) with little resulting action. Please, please, please contact your Senator or the President and petition the secretary-general of the U.N. to follow through. It has never been easier to make your voice heard (it took me less then a minute to call the White House Comment line). And don't despair, if you've read the Tipping Point then you know that enough small action can cause tremendous change.

Jury duty, camping, and ultimate frisbee

2007-07-31T15:10:00.001-03:00

What could jury duty, camping, and ultimate frisbee have in common? Well, those are the factors that have kept me from snapping pictures and putting up posts.
I fulfilled my civic duty yesterday and reported for jury duty. No one ever wants to serve but I have to say I was shocked and disappointed by the number of people that actively complained about being there and brainstormed stories to wriggle out of it. But after reading this article in the Boston Globe I should be giving credit to all those that showed up. Hey, I may have been reluctant to miss out on the last two weeks of work but like the judge said it's a fair example of "quid pro quo"- we serve today in the hopes that if we or a loved one ever needs the service of a jury there will be citizens willing to act as impartial and fair jurors. I wasn't selected but I have a renewed conviction in the importance of the process.
I went camping in Belleplain State Park in NJ. We were there to watch and cheer on my roommates ultimate frisbee team at the Wildwood beach tournament. I'm not a big fan of beaches (I burn easily) and I've only been camping once (I don't like bugs, rodents, peeing in a hole, or sleeping on the ground) BUT I had a blast. We had quite the spread and I wish I would have taken pictures. Alas, that was not to be - I left the batteries charging at home. I did make some fun kettle corn based on a recipe I found on veg.com. I highly recommend it. I'm making some for my going away party this weekend so I'll make sure to take a picture.

A vegan fight against farm subsidies

2007-07-26T11:42:00.000-03:00

I get that question a LOT and the answer is intimately personal and constantly evolving.
I am a vegan for my health.
I am a vegan because I think it is more important to feed people than cattle.
I am a vegan because I think it is better for the environment.
I am a vegan because I think animals should be treated in a humane way.
And I have stumbled upon an issue that directly incorporates nearly every aspect of why I am a vegan: FARM SUBSIDIES.
I have mad love for the farmer that works the earth and creates nutritious food that ensures my survival (especially since I hate gardening, much less farming). I don't have any respect or desire to pay for large agribusinesses that make a profit by making us fat, mistreating animals, and compromising the land they occupy.
Here's the article that got me revved up this morning by Michael Pollan (omnivore's dilemma).
Write your representative and let him/her know that this matters. Fight the lobbyists. Let politicians know that our health and our planet matter more then the money that lines their coffers! (Lobbyists spent about 91 million in 2006)

Carnivores and vegans unite....for dinner!

2007-07-25T20:55:00.000-03:00

My beloved carnivore and I made this fantastic meal Sunday evening. He loves pasta salad - I never have until my roommate - Moose - made a vantastic sampling for our Shakespeare Free for All at Carter Baron (a truly great place). But he really only knows pasta salad as a gross creamy concotion. I had to show him the light. All he had was white pasta, which I haven't eaten with any frequency for almost five years, but I was willing to make do. We added some tomatoes, red peppers (perfectly diced thank you very much), and onion. Our dressing was an awesome Annie's Naturals Balsamic Vinaigrette, which contains honey. Since my primary motivation for my vegan lifestyle is not animal rights I just don't want to give up honey. Period. Anywho, he also grilled me some vegan grillers topped with avocado and spicy mustard, he ate turkey (gag me) burgers. The man also prepped homemade fries on the grill. I would have preferred sweet potato fries but again the meal was vantastic. I wish I had brought some pasta salad home with me.

The vantastic, the vugly, and the yummy

2007-07-24T19:16:00.000-03:00

I read today at vegan.com - reported via SFGate - that Veggie Booty and SuperTings were tainted with salmonella as a result of a seasoning ingredient possibly purchased from China. This is VUGLY for so many reasons. I realize that China is a convenient scapegoat right now, but it does bring to light the fact that prepackaged foods come from far distances and unsavory locations. I do my best to avoid purchasing Chinese products and I had no idea ingredients in Veggie Booty came from Chian. Mostly because I worry about their human rights abuses but I also feel Chinese financial support enables genocide in Darfur. I need to stop eating snacks, regardless of their vegan status, and just cook my own food. Prepackaged snacks are just so convenient.....
To that end - the urban vegan makes it easier. She compiled a list of 101 quasi 10 minute easy meals. What a genius! I find that so many vegan bloggers don't post recipes or give really valuable information - in the hopes of or in anticipation of publishing a book. Way to buck the trend urban vegan and work your tail off to create a list of authentically easy meal ideas! Vantastic!
Restaurant Review - By and by I ate at Shawarma King in Brookline, Ma on Saturday night. Yummy! I thought their tabbouleh - with so much less bulgar then I have the nerve to use - was the best on my ridiculously large combo plate. Prices are a little more then posted in the review (from 10 years ago) but still reasonable. Sidenote - the picture is not from Shawarma King but a pretty fair resemblance. And carnivore prepared a great meal for me yesterday that I'll be posting soon....

Goodbye Lunch

2007-07-19T16:06:00.001-03:00

In preparation for my last day of work - a month from now - some of my favorite coworkers took me out to lunch. Awwww.....how sweet! And they made the extra effort of locating a restaurant that caters to veg and meat eaters alike. I really work with an amazing group of people at CUA Libraries. We went to Mark's Kitchen in Takoma Park. I really like the small town slightly run down atmosphere of Takoma Park. Mark's Kitchen was definitely a no frills great deal. The waitress was slow and surly but the food came quick. But, our waitress did know her stuff. I almost ordered the veggie bacon, lettuce, and tomato but she quickly informed me the veggie bacon has egg whites. I appreciated that bit of information. So instead I ordered tofu and avocado club - which at 6.75 was a pretty good deal. The sandwich was large and came with a side of roasted potatoes. I had enough left over for dinner that night. Vantastic. Some other coworkers ordered me a peanut butter fudge cake from my great nemesis - StickyFingers. And who can blame them - I love peanut butter and vegan food. What other option did they have? I actually had brought that cake in on my birthday, before my SF boycott began. I didn't have the heart to tell them that I refuse to purchase SF's goods and that the cake is really all about chocolate and too little about pb. It was the thought that counts and for that they are most definitely vantastic. I'll miss working with these people, they are great. But I'm sure being in Brasil will lessen the sadness. Teehee! The interesting question is what will it be like to be vegan in Brasil...I'll keep you posted!

Where is the butter?

2007-07-17T11:47:00.001-03:00

I became a vegetarian at 15, for vague reasons. Over the years I have often fielded the question "why are you a vegetarian"? Given ample practice I was able to really develop a response that reflected my burgeoning ideology. I was never a vegetarian for animal rights reasons. I think animals should be treated humanely, but my priority is human welfare and environmental integrity. Slowly, but surely, I came to understand that veganism was more closely aligned with my political and moral beliefs. Bummer! I never thought I would be able to do it. Then I read The Great American Detox Diet and thought I would give it a try for a few weeks. That was in April of 2006. While I have undoubtedly, inadvertently and out of respect, consumed dairy and eggs since then I strive to be a pretty strigent vegan - though I have mixed feelings about honey which when sourced locally is a much better alternative to sugar. I really thought I would miss cheese the most, but I hardly do at all. I found early on that it was butter that I missed - and I didn't even eat that much. Since finding Earth Balance I eat much more then I did as a vegetarian. But it is so good. Earth Balance vegan spread is VANTASTIC. Most vegan baking recipes call for it. I make cinnamon-sugar pita chips with it. I often just toast some bread and slather good ole fashioned jam and "butter" all over it. I have even converted my carnivorve boyfriend and dad. The stuff tastes good! And even has vitamin E to boot.
Sidenote - does anyone own the Damn Tasty! Vegan Baking Guide? I am thinking about purchasing it for my voracious sweet tooth

Job preparation

2007-07-12T15:03:00.000-03:00

Seeing as I plan on being a librarian I better get to doing some book reviews.
Vantastic: I love this book - "Peanut Butter Planet". If you have any sort of nut allergy this book, and this blog really, are not for you. It is a vegetarian cookbook, that is in essence vegan. Ingredients such as milk are listed with soy milk as an alternative. Each recipe lists serving sizes and nutritional information that I something that I look for in purchasing cookbooks. The preparation times aren't listed, unfortunately, but the recipes I've made have been easy and relatively quick - under an hour. I've made the sweet potato and peanut stew, curried chickpea stew, peanut macaroni pie, and peanut banana bread. The two stews were phenomenal. The most exotic spices called for were cumin and curry, and those hardly qualify as exotic anymore. The preparation I made was relatively straightforward and the taste was vantastic. The other two recipes were less delicious but still fun. I highly recommend this book and will keep you updated on future forays into the peanut butter planet.

Note of caution: one recipe "linguine with spicy peanut pesto" calls for thai bird chile, lemongrass, and thai basil which will be more difficult to locate at the local grocery store.

Don't cook much...but eat a lot!

2007-07-10T07:52:00.001-03:00

Vantastic: My roomie bought Wasa crackers last night and I ate them with store bought hummus. Between flying home at 6 in the morning and working until 6:30pm (and the 90+ temp with about that much humidity) I was not about to turn on the oven and cook. It was filling and vantastic really. When I was in Boston I went to Haymarket. I was mostly disappointed, the produce prices were great and the vendors were authentic representations of Boston attitude, but the food wasn't local. And the $2 lb of cherries yielded less then 2 ounces of consumable fruit. There was a Halal market that sold all types of bread, in addition to nasty meats, olives, etc. I tried out the Armenian bread - Matnakash - from Christopher's Bakery (2 Lewis St. Lynn, MA - (781)632-6773) and loved it.

By the way - several people have sent me the NYTimes article about hipster librarians. I hate any kind of pigeon hole, I don't spin records, go to concerts, or dress that fashionably, but I'm still cool (I like to think). Check it out if you haven't and support your public library!

Have so much to say!

2007-07-08T16:27:00.000-03:00

Everyday I think of things I want to post on my blog - I just need to translate those thoughts into action.
On Wednesday - the 4th - I went to Whole Foods and saw my Tofurky sausages for $3.99 and then today I saw a comment on my blog that they are at Trader Joe's for $2.99. How dare Giant and YES Organic totally rip me off! Many people complain about the expense of Whole Food's but honestly, for the products I buy they are more affordable. Anyway, I am just happy for the good news - cheap Tofurky makes this vegan think vantastic thoughts. Prior to buying them cheaply I bought the overpriced sausages in preparation for grilling on the 4th. I bought ciabatta bread to act as rolls, not much nutritional value but not high fructose corn syrup. Yipee! I drizzled some olive oil and balsamic vinegar on the toasted rolls and sliced up the Tofurky to go on top. I served myself that with some steamed brocoli with a mustard sauce (mustard, chopped garlic, and more olive oil) along with some yummy pumpkin oatmeal cookies from PPK. Those cookies were a huge hit at the BBQ, one guy ate over 5 before learning they were vegan and had the courage to admit he liked them but wouldn't have eaten them had he know they were vegan. We had a few casualities, they were overrun by ants but I did manage to take a picture that I will upload later.....
I also made homemade cashew butter this past week. Did I already talk about that? It was amazing!
I've been in Boston this weekend. I went to Grasshopper yesterday. I so wanted to like it. Really, I want to like all establishments that promote foods I can eat and a lifestyle I believe in. I just didn't though. I thought the assorted appetizer for $8.50 was pretty darn good. But 75% of it was fried, of course it was going to be good. My boyfriend - the carnivore (some call their partners omni's but my man loves meat so much that doesn't do him justice) - has dramatically increased his willingness to experiment and loved the appetizer. The "pork" on his entree (#41)was disgusting, in looks and taste. My seitan with american broccoli (#60) was enough for thre people, incredibly generous portions. I just didn't like the texture or the taste of their seitan, which I usually love. What I really loved was the sweet service, the tasty water, and the phenomenally vantastic "peanut" sauce. It was brown heaven, I don't know what relation it has to peanuts but it was so good. Does anyone know how to make that sauce? I was afraid to try the cheesecake after the entrees. Maybe next time...

On the way home (a little out of our way) I dragged carnivore to the My Thai cafe and Bubble Tea Bistro on Harvard St. to grab vegan dessert. I've eaten there MANY times so knew that the $5 lemon poppyseed cake with lemon creamcheese frosting is VANTASTIc. The styrofoam is evil though. I have a picture of that soon to come as well. That is far and away my favorite restaurant in Beantown so far. (I found TJ's disappointing because of styrofoam and the fake cheese, but to be fair I HATE fake cheese; and Original Buddha's Delight has the same fake meat problem as Grasshopper). I'm off to eat homemade sweetpotato fries and grilled prepackaged vegan burgers (courtesty of carnivore).

Sidenote: Transformers rocked! Long live autobots

Mediocre meatballs

2007-07-03T11:33:00.001-03:00

Vkay - I realized there are things/products that are neither vantastic nor vugly. So I have a new category: vkay. Washington Deli qualifies for vkay. I really appreciate a business, a deli nonetheless, that makes an effort to cater to vegans and vegetarians. I went on Saturday and ordered the vegan meatball 'parm' hero. WITHOUT soy cheese, because I don't trust that it's vegan and because it tastes nasty. He put the soy cheese on anyway and the meatballs were flavorless, and that's being generous. He did offer to make me another one, but since I am not vegan for medical reasons but by choice I didn't want to waste the food, labor, and electricity to make another one. And I got a fifty cent discount on the price. I won't go again anytime soon but I wouldn't avoid it either.

One note of caution - I don't verify whether products are vegan or not. If it says it is vegan I will usually take them at their word. My basic question is "does it have eggs or dairy?" Otherwise I am not very hardcore. So if the purity of your product or food really matters to you then do your own additional research.

One note of concern - I went to Java Green yesterday after writing my post. They still had no Sweet -n- Natural goodies. If they stop carrying those products my esteem for them will be highly reduced.