Ela fala mal/má, mas ela entende melhor

"She speaks badly (or wrongly - I couldn´t decipher which adjective she used), but she understands better."

I went to the NGO Tertio Millennio this morning and when the director was on the phone that is how she described my Portuguese. Regardless of the adjective it´s true! But despite that, I may be teaching English to their adolescent mothers on Wednesday´s. My Portuguese may be crap but my English sure is up to par. Teehee.

The best part about today - lunch with my grandmother. She is so fantastic. Why?


#1) My very wealthy and prestigous uncle is having a birthday bash to DIE for on October 4th - no nieces, nephews or grandchildren are invited in order to keep the guest list to 200. He is turning 70 and by law must retire from his judicial position. The party is going to be uber chique (chic). So today my grandmother told me that she is worried/scared. Everyone wears high heels to be chic but she can´t - they hurt her feet too much. What is she going to do? She is seriously concerned. I hope I conveyed to her that people aren´t going to judge an 85 year old woman harshly for not wearing jewelry or high heels.

#2) I asked my grandmother how old she is. She was aghast - she will never tell! Her reaction was priceless.

#3) I took our dishes in the kitchen and started to wash mine - she ran in, with a mouth full of food, and started swatting at me with a rag, mumbling "não, não". She refused to let me clean the dishes.

#4) She always loads me up with food when I go there for lunch. I have to eat a lot, but more then that, I have to take food with me. And her argument is always "it isn´t fattening", even if it is.

#5) I asked what she was going to do with the rest of the day and she said she was going to clean the dishes, take a shower, and watch tv. Then she told me "I love TV!" She said when she watches TV she doesn´t think about anything, like how my cousin Alé - who is 6 months pregnant - is in Chicago right now on business. That worries her a lot. She especially likes detective/police tv shows. We watched Criminal Minds before lunch. She doesn´t have a thought in her head when she watches tv - that is how she described it. (Alé, Vó, Me)

#6) She tells great stories. She told me how her family are a bunch of drunks and that is why she has never had one drink, not one!

#7) The street outside of her house is undergoing major construction, which causes major traffic, and every time the cars stop she points out the window and insists I look and see the horrible traffic.

#8) She calls herself "your lazy grandmother". She is working on two crochet/knitting projects (I can´t tell the difference) but she says she is too lazy to complete them - she just wants to watch tv.

#9) She never calls anyone by the right name the first time. I´m usualy Lec-Melissa or Cami-Melissa. But she does it with everyone - and so do my aunts.

#10) She doesn´t understand my accent (I had to say nove three times today for her to understand I was saying nine) or my wrong & bad Portuguese, but she still tells me how intelligent and wonderful I am.

I am doing pretty well. I didn´t sleep well last night because I was stressed about getting a cab and going to Tertio(not sleeping as a result of worrying runs in my family). Tomorrow I have to go to the bank and try to figure out why the ATM charged me for money I didn´t take out - without a receipt or the ability to speak anywhere near fluently. I am sure I won´t sleep well tonight either. Ugh!