2 months

I am sick again, the second time in two months. Which is how long I´ve been in Brasil. Besides being very disappointed in my immune system I am thrilled with my life here.

The update:

- This is my last week of classes, which I have been taking for a month. Today I learned composite forms of the subjunctive. What?!! I pretty much feel like I will never learn to speak Português, but that fluctuates daily so I´m learning not to take myself too seriously.

- I´m getting along very well with my aunt and her cats. My aunt is always very sweet and works incredibly hard, some days from 8 to 10pm. That, along with the fact that one of her cats (Olivivio) LOVES me, accounts for how well we get along.

- I love being around my family (grandma, aunts, cousins). Recent circumstances in my life and the lives of those around me have caused me to question what family means to me and who I consider my family. I consider family those people that I have a history - which (hopefully) includes shared memories of love and tenderness. As a result, people with whom I share no blood relation, like my pops, is one of the most important members of my family; at the same time there are several pepole with whom I am connected to by DNA who aren´t family to me. I´m always triggered by how so many people have an opinion of how I should live my life, of what is right and wrong. My aunt (the one I love living with) assured me yesterday that what is right for me, may be wrong for someone else, and vice versa. I live my life with the most honor, integrity, and compassion that I can - somedays that is a lot, others a little - but it is always the best that I have to give at that moment.

- My mom has always told me how important good health is, and I believed her but without giving it any thought. With my grandma Christina recently diagnosed with Parkinson´s (after surviving breast cancer and knee replacements) and others I distantly know struggling with different traumatic diagnoses, the truth of the statement struck me. Luckily, my cold will past - I pray for those afflicted with much greater trials and tribulations, whether they are family or not.

-I had a great time at Nossa Senhora Aparecida, especially in the car (3 hours each way) with my cousin Lu - he is hilarious! My only regret is that I forgot my camera. Ugh! But he said something that I hope to take with me - that each day he wakes up he doesn´t think about yesterday or tomorrow - he only thinks about how he can give his best today (especially in regards to his girlfriend). I thought that was beautiful and will hopefully be guided by that in my future relationships and in my life.

- Maria the maid and I have an uneasy truce. She doesn´t clean the kitchen while I am eating lunch and I say hello and goodbye. We don´t really talk besides that but I´m okay with that.

- I´ve started looking for jobs and places to live in Boston. AHHHH!!!! I´m not looking forward to writing cover letters or new craigslist roommates. I´ve had two good experiences and one crazy one - hoping for the former not the latter.

- I was working out everyday - for the past month- until this cold caught up with me. The past three days I´ve just sat around, staring into space (the tv was broken, I have no good books to read) and doing very easy crossword puzzles (anything above easy is too hard).

- I think my ex and I have successfully made the transition into friendship. At first that was INCREDIBLY depressing but now it is okay. Not great, not devastating, just okay. If you´ve be reading my blog you KNOW that this is quite the accomplishment. I´m not suffering over my ex or fretting about a future of spinsterhood. To which I say woohoo.

- I´m less obssessed with receiving mail and more obsessed with sending it - I´ve mailed 10 postcards the past week. teehee. hopefully you are one of the recipients.....teehee.....

Eco - Integrale

Wow - I had fun last night. I have no idea why I woke up at 8:30am (given that I went to bed at 3:45am) but that is pretty normal for me. I am headed to the shrine of Nossa Senhora Aparecida today - my future tattoo - so hopefully I will sleep in the car (it takes about three hours to get there). So....about last night. Me and the "Fast Forward" crew (my school friends) met at the Vila Madalena metro station at 9:30p.m. We were all basically on time, how very un Brasilian of us!

I had heard of a restaurant, Eco Forneria-Integrale Pizzaria, in Vila Madalena that had whole wheat, vegan, and organic options, as well as meat. The crew was up for finding it and so off we went. We eventually made it there around 10:15pm, after several conflicting sets of directions (though I am proud to report that I was willing to ask). The setting was nice, the menu was made out of recycled paper, there was a very good (if somewhat loud) singer playing acoustic guitar. We were excited, even when the waitress said "um instantinho". (Whenever a Brasilian adds the dimunitive "-inho" to time you know you are in trouble; a "minuntinho" is usually five minutes, a "segundinho" is usually 10 minutes, and an "instantinho" - well you may as well go home).



Over a hour later, when we still had no pizza, but the table of 12 men who sat down about 20 minutes after us had eaten two pizzas, we were much less excited. We all started complaining in our native languages (Swedish, Japanese, English) with big smiles which provided a good 15 minutes of entertainment. I did complain in Portuguese, and both of the waitresses assured us that the food was on it´s way. They also tried to convince me that the men sat down at the same time but I wasn´t fooled.

I was the first to receive my food, I ordered a whole wheat calzone with tomatoes, brocoli, onions, black olives, and seitan. It took almost 15 more minutes for the rest of my table to get their food. Our spirits perked up, until we took a bite. The food was incredibly salty - and I like salty food. The black olives were whole olives, pit included, not quite conducive to eating pizza or calzones. The seitan had an odd ham like flavor. The dough was dry and the others told me their cheese wasn´t very good. That - on top of the incredibly long wait - definitely made this one restaurant I would not recommend for vegans visiting São Paulo.

Good thing we had so much fun at the party. I only lasted until about 3am - but staying out that late, eating dinner after 11pm, and trying (very poorly) to dance forro gave the night a very Brasilian feel.

Short and sweet

Not much to report, and no pics to post, sorry! I am about to head off for a nap. Why? Well, I have a party to go to tonight, that gets started around 11pm or 12am and will last until 3 or 4am. Ahhhh....the Brasillian way. Prior to the festivities I am meeting up with some friends to try out an all natural pizzeria that has vegan options. I´m very excited! (about the food and friends).

This past week I have learned lots more about Brasil: CPMF (a ridiculous tax), Projeto Jovem (Lula´s project that is similar to getting a GED), PCB (the Brasilian communist party), obligatory voting, a little about the dictatorship. I definitely feel like I have a much clearer sense of the culture then I ever have before. I´m going to find some actual statistics - to augment the fact that I just ask people their opinions - before I post comments.

Things are slow going with the maid. Yesterday we didn´t talk at all. Today I gave her a box of paçoca (peanut dessert) and a pillow in the shape of a heart that says Brasil. She cooked me lunch in return. Ahhah! I would call that progress.

I feel like I am getting sick again, ugh! It may be allergies, I am not sure. I just started popping claritin, so hopefully that will help. The weather here is CRAZY and I blame it on that, not a weak immune system. teehee. I do feel like each day my portuguese improves. Which is great, but also has some pitfalls. I have to be careful, for example, with my pilates teacher. She has noticed my improved capabilities and has started talking more, BUT the more we talk the fewer exercises I do. As a generalization I would say Brasilians prioritize human interaction. My priority is flexibility, abs, and fitness - people connections are all good when I am not paying for it!

Speaking of paying....I feel like I have to acknowledge my mom and pops one more time. They have financed my schooling and transportation and Brasilian dream GENEROUSLY and without comment. But beyond their unquestioning, unwavering financial support they have provided moral support as well. I talk mostly of friends and boys, but I know for sure I won´t stay in Brasil past January, not because of an exboyfriend that I still love, or a new crush, or school, or a job - but because of them. I can´t live so far from my folks - it is the reason I transferred from University of Miami, FL to MSU, MI my freshman year, it is why I loved moving from California to DC, and it is why Boston is a viable option - it is only a few hours away from them!

Sharing the knowledge

The past few days have led to improved lanuage compotency, provided some cultural insights, and brought more feuding with the maid. None of the below are scientifically validated or empirically cited but I think they are plausible observations worth passing along:

- I´ve learned the lyrics to happy birthday in portuguese.

- São Paulo has the largest population of gays in the world.

- Women greatly outnumber men in Brasil, especially in Fortaleza.

- In my opinion the above two statements account for why machismo remains so strong in this country (in addition to a long history of habit). The demand is great and the supply is low. One example of this disparity is the Brasilian phenomenon where it is okay to kiss 4 to 5 people during a night out, which often includes female friends fighting over the same man. No thanks!

- But men from Argentina are even more macho according to my very biased Brasilian sources. Apparently the men in Argentina are much better about opening doors and letting women off elevators first BUT they also (gross generalization to follow) feel entitled to any woman they want anywhere. I knew an Argentinan guy once and he wasn´t aggressive, but he definitely thought he was a very special gift to all women. Whether it is true or not the cultural rivalry between Argentina and Brasil is very amusing.

- A majority of Brasilians are born in December, about nine months after Carnaval - a time known for "freeloving".

- Southern Brasil, especially São Paulo, has a LARGE Japanese population. Today while reading a Brasilian magazine designed for people of Japanese heritage we learned that in Japan, during the summer, kids don´t eat ice cream or drink soda to cool down. They frighten eachother. Santomi, the Japanese student in my class, confirmed that this is true - again, only when it is warm. She says this partly accounts for the intense like of horror films in Japan. Ahhh....

- I grew up with a mom who always talked about how great it was to have maids. She was WRONG! My aunt´s maid and I can´t stand eachother. It isn´t all her fault, she makes $650 reais a month - a little more now that I am here. That is for about 25-30 hours of work a week. For that much money I don´t think I´d deliver a pizza, much less clean toilets, cook, and iron other peoples clothes. Since she doesn´t make that much money she often talks on the phone, invites the doormen up for lunch, eats all my good paçoca. I was fine with that until I learned that my family was paying her more to work more and that she said she couldn´t work as hard with how much I talk to her. Hilarious! Since I´ve verified this isn´t the case she´s stopped washing certain articles of my clothing, she doesn´t clean my room, she uses my phone charger, she buys the stringy tasteless mangos. And my aunt assures me she is much better then others. Despite her pathetic wages she has all the power. She has been my aunts maid for 17 years, I can´t complain about her or make her unhappy. I may sound like a paranoid conspiracy theorist but it is TRUE - she has declared war on me, in all the ways that an underpaid exploited laborer can. At first I was plotting my counter maneuvers, I was going to stop making my bed, I was going to take my phone charger with me, I was going to hide the paçoca. But alas, I´ve decided to take the higher road. I´ve actually never done this before - not liked someone and been nice to them - so I don´t know that I`ll be any good at it. I´ll keep you posted. All in all, the fact that I am even considering it lets me know that being in Brasil is having a profound affect on my personality.

-I don´t know what I`ll be like when I leave here but I know for sure I won´t be the same person that arrived.

what a difference a week makes

Last weekend I was mopey dopey - this weekend I was a busy bee.

I´ve continued to have LOADS of fun with my fellow classmates. The teacher situation has been a bit more precarious though. On Thursday our teacher left in the middle of the class (never to return). I refuse to believe it was our behavior that drove her out, but we were a mite bit talkative. Thursday night her replacement had given us a ton of homework so I didn´t go to Samba Rock dance class - I have high hopes for this coming Thursday though. teehee. I have kept up with the trampoline class and just read that it combats cellulite. Wippee.

Friday morning we the crisis with teachers continued at Fast Forward but once again Dilmo came to the rescue. He is the best teacher I´ve had so far, there is only one left for me to test out. It isn´t that he puts forth SO much effort, he´s been doing this for five years - he has the material down flat. It is more that he is energetic, flexible, and doesn´t make us do every book exercise. We often play games, read interesting stories, and practice talking about our weekend and our interests. It makes class much more enjoyable. There is all of that, and his drawings. He knows English very well but doesn´t give us the definition in English - some people don´t speak English. Instead he acts out or draws the definition. The fact that he can´t really draw makes it all the more fun.


After class I met up with a very cool American, Zoe, who speaks French, Spanish, English and now Portuguese. We went to check into our hostel for the evening. It wasn´t as close or as cool as Pousada Francesa but everything was booked this weekend for Formula 1. It was clean and safe and that was what mattered. We didn´t spend much time there before heading back to downtown São Paulo to locate a bar that had been recommended for happy hour. We didn´t know the name or the exact location but we felt all the more Brasilian because of that. We were in the girls collective room and it didn´t occur to me I would have such a hard time sleeping because of all the snoring, but so it was. But....it was cheap, safe, and close to the metro (which I love!). It was worth while.

Happy hour was so much fun. I really had a fantastic time, and not just because
the caipirinhas were very good/strong. We met up at Choperia Opção near MASP - a very hip museum that is free on Tuesdays. I´ve become friends with Santomi, a Japanesse student that doesn´t speak English, so we must speak Portuguese with eachother. It is so great (before we were only speaking English). Without her as the incentive I don´t think we would be speaking nearly as much Portuguese. The picture on the left is the two German boys came with their Brasilian girlfriends (with whom they speak English - it is all very international) and Zoe. I really liked Chris and his girlfriend Catia - they are wonderful people. Catia taught me not to say muito mais melhor (it is like saying very much better). The picture on the right is of Santomi, Fred the Swede - also known as Felipe, and Zoe (again). Fred isn´t nearly as serious has he looks and all three of them are incredibly....skinny. It struck me as I posted this, but it is true. You can almost see the MASP in the background. After a few hours at happy hour Zoe, Fred, and I headed to a balada (club) to dance but things don´t really get going here until 1am and can last until 5 or 6am and we didn´t have the energy for that. Later that evening I also found out that that my cousin gave birth to her son, two months early. My grandmother has her first grandchild. He is doing well, even though he has to stay in a little incubator. No one can visit him or I would post pics. In a couple weeks I´m sure I´ll have tons.

Yesterday I went to the FABULOUS Ibirapuera park. I want to go everday! In the middle of the city is this beautiful park and planetarium (which I went to for only 5 reais). People were in VERY good shape and I was motivated to work out. I may try to go later today and run.

So I am learning lots and having a wonderful time, thanks to the floral therapy. Teehee, just kidding, but that is part of it I am sure. I´m very focused on making the most of my life here and being grateful for everything I have, even if it doesn´t seem like exactly what I want or a whole lot. Woohoo.

let´s try this again

This weekend I felt depressed. Yesterday, before 7pm, I felt great. Today I feel okay. The roller coaster that is my state of affairs can be stressful but I like that my life isn´t monotonous. Two years ago I was in love with a man I thought I would marry and living in California; a year ago I was living in DC going to graduate school for librarianship; AND today....well now I am single, volunteering(jobless), in Brasil, maybe moving to Boston for a different graduate school. Given that my life is prone to change, in any feasible yet unimagineable direction, I am going to follow my grandmothers advice and "stop obsessing over lost love". Right now I am focused on being grateful for fulfilling my dream - a dream to live in Brasil, be with family, and practice Portuguese. I am doing that, yeah! Maybe it means that I don´t make romantic attachments, I get left behind by the ex, and I don´t have a lot of social interactions. And still I want to be grateful. I am also focused on feeling good about and liking me, not on how he feels about me or who he is with. I don´t know why I think I am so easily replaceable or why I would be attracted to someone that easily replaces me or stops loving me. In essence I want to work on appreciating this place, my life, who I am and what I bring to the table. What is that???? Conviction to do what I think is right, courage to make changes and be different, concern for the well being of other people, willing to learn from my mistakes, an ability to befriend people from all walks of life, and committed to retain friendships from various stages of my life. I´m not always strong in those domains, and I´m never all those things at once. But hey - at any given time I´m excelling in at least one aspect and there is also the possiblity for more. So you know what I say to that - wooho.

CULTURAL INSIGHTS:

Brasilians love pets. It is a gross generalization but I feel very comfortable making this assertion. On my walk to Gotas de Flor com Amor I pass by innumerable pet stores and vets offices. One day I will actually count. Also, I would say at least half of the houses I pass by have dogs. AND I´ve seen several dogs with shoes. It is true. The first time was at the mall. Most recently was on my way back from lunch yesterday. I hope you can see the blue booties on this dogs feet. I asked the owner, in portuguese, if I could take a picture and she graciously allowed me. Is this a testament of love or just plain ridiculous? You decide.....

Floral therapy is a phenomenon here (and not just because I am doing it). This past Saturday when I went and saw the incredibly funny "Os Homens são de Marte....e é pra lá que eu vou!" the main/only character, Fernanda, was constantly taking her floral remedy and the audience knew what it was and related with laughter. Floral therapy is the belief that the essence of flowers can help balance negative emotions. It is a homeopathic remedy that my aunt is trained in. I think the one I am taking right now is to help me realize my own value, strengthen my self esteem, and help me be calm about my (very) uncertain future. It may sound a little funky and new agey but I find it beneficial, and in conjunction with prayer and awesome words of wisdom from family and friends, I think it accounts for me feeling better. In addition to myself, my 85 year old grandmother does it, my super macho 33 year old cousin does it, and they swear by it. Hey - don´t knock it unless you´ve tried it.

Change. As long as I have been coming to Brasil there has been a shortage of change, though it is much better now then 10 years ago. I am not talking about political or social evolution or revolution. I am taking about money. I never receive the right change at the grocery store. I am usually given more, a centavo or two, but occassionally it is less. Hardly anyone has one centavo(cent) here but nothing is priced accordingly. I find it very odd. So if you travel to Brasil be aware that people don´t easily accept big denominations and are unlikely to want to make change.

bitter

I will have you know that i wrote a post about dogs with shoes, floral therapy, and change in Brasil - saved the post - and when I came back to it....it wasn´t there. I am bitter. I may try again tomorrow. UGH@@@

but no worries - i wrote about feeling great.

It was a really great post - and now no one can argue differently. teehee.

The longest weekend ever....

NOSSA SENHORA APARECIDA: The celebration of the patroness of Brasil was on Friday. Which means I didn´t have class on Friday, the gym where I work out at was closed, stores were closed, and the place where I volunteer on Friday and Saturday was closed as well. The city was dead, most Paulistas headed out for the beach.

WHAT DID I DO: A friend of mine - I´ve been talking to him about my frustrations about "getting over" my exboyfriend - emailed me, "have a great weekend! you´re in brasil for crying out loud, stop worrying about him and have some fun! he´s the one that is missing out." I have wonderfully supportive friends - and he´s right, I am in Brasil! But what does that mean? That I should be frolicking on the beach, in a barely there bikini, dancing samba in the waves? I WISH - well except for the barely there bikini. The reality, this weekend at least, was a little more mundane. I think that is the reality of living somewhere sometimes - beyond the exotic appeal, beautiful beaches, and attractive people - daily life can be very mundane. I ate, slept, and watched a lot of tv. If you know me, that is not my idea of a good time. I practiced taking pictures of my reflection - I think they came out pretty interesting. teehee. I woke up each morning, promising myself that I absolutely would not check my email or write my ex. Not only did I check my email each day - I checked about ten times. I also swore I wouldn´t eat any Flormel paçoca, my absolute favorite brand (my peanut obsession rears its ugly head), and of course I ate all of them and have to wait until Friday when my aunt can buy me more at the health food store. So the weight I ran off last week is definitely back where it started. I did go to the theatre Saturday night. It was a one woman play about the plight of Fernada - a 35 year old - looking for love whereever she could find it. I think I understood about 75% of the play (not bad), and for whatever I did or didn´t understand, it really was fantastic. Oh, I also made pancakes and looked at dresses online for my dad´s wedding. Tomorrow is another holiday - day of the teacher. At least the gym will be open....

HOW DO I FEEL: I feel like my life is on hold. I don´t know where I´ll live when I get back to the states or what I´ll do. I don´t know why I am moving to Boston anymore. I don´t know what I want to do as my life´s work. I don´t know how to make the most of my time here. I feel trapped by a lack of public transportation, friends, and family fear. The week flies by, with classes, volunteering, working out I hardly have time to think. But then comes the weekend, and I dread it. I sit around, think about my ex, struggling to learn from that love AND then LET GO. I worry that I am getting left behind. Honestly, I feel a little bored and a tad boring - and I`m in Brasil!?! Is that even allowed? I did talk to my pops - I put in an SOS emergency request for some phone time. And he told me how proud he is of me, how funny he thinks I am, and how much courage I have to always try and make the most out of life. He told me not to forget I am fulfilling a dream I´ve had for a long time. And that is what I feel most strongly - a desire to appreciate each day for what it offers and to love what is. Wish me well~

First week of classes

FAST FORWARD: My first week of classes was great in some respects, interesting in others, and at times a tad annoying. The great = My teacher - Dilmo - is very experienced, organized, and entertaining. That is not always the case. And my classmates are fun. From left to right: "Nikolas" the German has a quasi girlfriend in Maceio and is looking to live there; Zoe is an American from N.C. who has lived in England, Portugual, and France and has a quasi boyfriend in São Paulo; "Felipe" is from Sweden (my blog from Monday mistakenly labeled him as from Switzerland - don´t tell) he is the baby of the group, working on an internship here to finish his bachelors degree; and Seppo is Finish and going to be living, with his wife, in Porto Seguro for two years. I´ve invited myself to stay at his house, his wife lived in Wisconsin for 7 years and I´m convinced I´ll really like her; and not included is Chris, another German who has a Brasilian girlfriend, who doesn´t seem interested in hanging out with anyone. Seppo´s last day was today so we ate lunch together at a kilo place (see below). I´m thinking about staying in a hostel nearby on Friday and Saturday of next week so I can go out with them (and others) at night. Even though most of my classmates have Brasilian mates (very different from Maceio) we are all interested in making friends and hanging out. I think it is great we skip the formality of "getting to know eachother" and just hang out. The interesting = We have no class tomorrow because it is a national holiday. Today during class they told us we won´t have class on Monday either, another holiday. But they are making up Monday´s classes since it isn´t a national holiday. I just find it interesting that they waited to tell us until today. The annoying = the school in São Paulo is much smaller then in Maceio so space is at a premium. That means six of us are in close quarters for the 200 minutes of instruction that we receive (they advertise their price for 4 hours of lessons but with three breaks instruction is less, and that is okay). Today, at our first break, two of the other instructors unexpectedly left, so our class and instructor joined the other class in a small hot room and watched a ridiculous film. And the fact that I live 30 minutes away with no practical way of meeting anyone for dinner or a night out is annoying, hence the hostel.


LUNCH: We ate a kilo restaurant - you are charged for your food by the kilo. I actually had quite a few options, and for the very affordable grand total of 8 reais (about $4.50), I had brown rice, chickpeas, cauliflower, tomatoes, two pieces of cucumber sushi, and goiaba juice. I actually wanted Açai na Tigela but we couldn´t find a place. The taxi driver pointed one out to me on my way home and I am headed there on Tuesday.


GOTAS DE FLOR COM AMOR: It is difficult to work at Gotas and take classes at the same time. I only worked at Gotas twice this week and will probably only work there on Monday of next week. I´m not too worried about it - I´ve put in one month and I´ll have to more months to work there when classes are done.

(Just to prove I was there...)

New Years Resolutions

A little early, I know. But I can´t help it, I´ve had SO much success with keeping track of AND accomplishing my 2007 resolutions that I´m excited to repeat the process. Cooking more is definitely on the list. I keep track of about half a dozen vegan blogs all of which inspire me to wish I cooked more often! In Brasil I have found sweetened condensed soy milk and dulce de leite (from soy milk) that I eat straight out of the can but I´d rather make some type of vegan dessert to make with them. But what? In my defense I have limited options - I don´t have any access to vegan margarine and it took me forever to find baking soda (go figure). I have made brigadeiros twice with good results (Brasilian pseudo truffle). Any other ideas for something with easy to find ingredients and doesn´t take forever?

CLASSES: Today was great. I woke up at 6am, ran for 45 minutes, got ready for class and caught my cab. The amazing generosity of my mom and pops is allowing me to take FOUR weeks of portuguese lessons Monday through Friday. I have the same teacher I had when I was in Maceio (northern beach town in Brasil) almost 4 years ago. He (Dilmo) is great! There are six of us in class - two Germans, two Americans (including me), a Finnish guy, and a guy from Switzerland. I like the whole bunch - everyone is here for varying amounts of time but all seem very open to hanging out. The only downside is that we all live very far apart, but a cab ride here, and a bus ride there will likely overcome the seperation. Woohoo!

ANOTHER HOLIDAY: Friday is Day of the Child AND the celebration of Nossa Senhora Aparecida - the Catholic patroness of Brasil (and maybe my next tattoo....) I don´t have classes or work on Friday or Saturday as a result. The taxi driver (Jacinto - a GREAT guy) told me today that if there are three holiday´s in a month the city empties out. Brasilians work hard - have no doubt - but relaxation is equally a serious business. Is seems like a shame that my ONG (NGO) is doing nothing for Day of the Child, but their overworked/underpaid employees deserve the holiday as much as anyone. Here are some pictures and personality descriptions of the kids I work with - an early tribute to Day of the Child.

Lucia. She is in the 6-7 afternoon class. The others are in the 8-10 afternoon class. Very cute, well behaved, but opinionated. She seems to be friends with everyone but not close to anyone in particular. My only worry is that she is seven and you can already see the pose she is striking....

Daniella. I have a soft spot for Daniella because she took to me immediately. She asks me to buy her shoes,cell phones, or just give her money but she doesn´t seem to mind that I always say no. She puts herself down quite a bit, and others as well.

Taina. She is a very pretty young lady. She has a pretty tough exterior but, as with most of the kids, can amaze me with how loving she can be. I would say she is the bossiest of the group I´ve posted here. There is one girl in her class - Bia - that far exceeds anyone here in toughness and bossiness but she isn´t very friendly so I don´t interact with her much.

Last but definitely not least. Marianhe. She spends most of her time with Daniella. She is quiet, gentle, tender, and PERFECT. For Day of the Child she told me all she wanted was a kiss. Daniella told her that was lame - actually she called it feia (ugly) her favorite derrogatory term. Marianhe told her she was wrong - there is not better gift. She is always has something nice to say and I adore her. She usually doesn´t come to the bookmobile on Saturday´s but was allowed to this past weekend because her older brother accompanied her. He, a teenager of an undistinguished age, twirled (what is the right term?) the jump rope for the girls, set up chairs, and sat quietly watching her without ONE complaint. This mom and or dad have the magic secret.

Is this too much to ask for?

My grandmother sent me a forward about the story of the parents of some guy whose name escapes me. The part of the story that I´m posting here struck me as exactly what I want. "He" doesn´t have to be Catholic, or make any certain amount of money, or even be good with directions. I´d just like someone that wants to figure out how to get there with me.

"Until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work. Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn't seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage. (Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.) He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin's Church. She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish's two priests was on duty that morning. If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home. If it was the assistant pastor, he'd take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests "Father Fast" and "Father Slow."
After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd explain: "The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored." If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream."

There is more to the story but that excerpt captures most what I´d like in my life. Two different lives, religions, interests completely intertwined. I know, I know - I´m totally messed up. I plan on getting intensive therapy when I get back to the states. Teehee.

But you know what!?! I´m healthy, I slept well last night, my family loves me, I´m doing some great volunteer work, and I received three letters last week. Woohoo! So don´t worry about me too much - life is good. There is nothing that any of us can do about the boy/love thing - but you can do something about keeping the letters coming.....

Random images of daily life in Brasil

Here are some random images. The photo farthest to the left is one that I walk past everyday on my way to Gotas de Flor com Amor. I call it "poopy corner". Not very sophisticated but an apt description. The sidewalk runs along an apparently abandoned parking lot. My theory is that since there is no one to protest every dog owner in the neighborhood brings their pet here to do their business, without worrying about cleaning it up. The first few days I was walking I hadn´t quite gotten my bearings - I have a very poor sense of direction. I made the mistake of walking on that sidewalk more times then I like to remember. I´ve learned my lesson. The upper right photo is a public payphone. A large percentage of Brasilians have cell phones but as of yet the system of public payphones is still in place. I love their shape and color.
The photo below the payphone is of an avocado. Yummmy. There are a variety of avocados available here in Brasil. I like this one, because it´s huge - more to eat - and I think it has a natural sweetness that lends itself well to my avocado mash.
The photo to the far right is a stick. Yes. It also happens to be a bus stop marker. I have yet to take public transportation here in São Paulo. I walk, get a ride, or take a taxi. I´d like to but my family is very reluctant to allow me to. You might say ´well Melissa, you are a big girl (you´d never say old) - why don´t you just get on the bus?´ You see that stick. How does anyone know where they are going?
Starting Monday I´ll be taking Portuguese classes for the next four weeks. I´ve mentioned that I´ve taken intensive Portuguese classes - about 3 years ago for 2 1/2 weeks. I´m trying not to have any expectations because I´m always most pleased when I don´t have any preconceived notions (my time in DC, my roomies at 1830, my time here, etc). But I´d be lying if I didn´t admit that I´m really hoping my Portuguese improves and I´d like to make friends.
Right now that is what I miss the most. I miss going out, chatting over drinks, making fun of eachother, and commiserating over loves gained, endured, and lost. I wouldn´t change anything about my life - where I am, what I am doing. My only sadness stems from feeling like I am not making progress in moving on with my life romantically. If anything I am regressing. Friends or no I guess I have to just get over him. It is just so much easier when there is someone new! Whine, whine, pout, pout!

Happy Birthday Elena!

Happy birthday amiga!


ABSENCE EXPLAINED: I´ve been sick. Just a cold, but tiring and brain numbing nonetheless. Plus I haven´t slept well the past two nights. I´ve been having dreams/nightmares about running into my exboyfriend with his new girlfriend. I wake up with an unpleasant knot in my stomach around 3am and have trouble falling back asleep - which doesn´t help the sick thing. But I realized this morning, after some "bate-papo" (chatting) with my fab exroomie Moose and some hard core working out, that if he finds happiness, love, and marriage with someone else it isn´t because something is wrong with me. I´m imperfectly perfect for someone - just not him. Taha!


DR. TIO: An interesting phenomena to being sick in Brasil is that my uncle is a doctor. Wednesday afternoon I woke up (I hadn´t slept the night before) and he had told my aunt to buy me a mountain of medicines and some drops for the left ear that has been bothering me. Immediate medical attention is not something I am used to - I struggle to find a doctor that accepts new patients much less actually make an appointment with them in the U.S. I thought it was just a cold, what´s the big deal? But to be honest - my ear is better and I almost feel great. Woohoo.



MAIL: I got two care packages on Monday. I was so excited. They know who they are - so thanks! The most useful present was the book - The Journeys of Socrates by Dan Millman. I finished the book in the wee hours of one sleepless morning. I felt like some Harry Potter crazed adolescent. It is fiction, which I don´t normally read, but I really enjoyed the book. My pops sent it to me and had previously quoted from it in an email to me, "no matter what comes your way, if you take a rigid position, you experience pain. Never oppose force with force. Instead, absorb it and use it." I´m prone to confrontation and conflict so I found that sentiment particularly profound. Most of all I was moved by the statement "Only by surrendering to God´s will does one find victory in battle and serenity in life." I believe that and I´m working on it.



UPDATE: I start Portuguese classes on Monday at the Amerispan language school in São Paulo. I´ve signed up for Pilates - based on the great experience during my free lesson and I´m learning new words in Portuguese related to the body. I taught my first English class to 6-8 year olds on Tuesday (the only day I´ve volunteered this week). That was a blast - I need to take pictures of them. I fought with my aunt and resolved some concerns - all in Portuguese. I´m so glad I´m here and not somewhere in the States where it is getting colder. Teehee!

An image of some of my favorite foods. Yummm.....

(condensed soymilk, goiaba juice, sesame bars, paçoqua with oats)