Remaining open to love and listening to the melody

whoa - breaking up is hard to do. (I've heard that somewhere before....)
Since breaking up with my boyfriend of 18 months (who was also a friend of 7 and 1/2 years) I've had a few low moments. Like ignoring the man who asked for money and when he started cursing at me cursing back at him. He was most likely drunk and probably mentally ill. I on the other hand.....
So I emailed my mom and told her of my shame and she wrote me the most brilliant advice, I just had to share it. She said: "Indeed sweetheart -- sometimes life is so hard. And sometimes there is nothing we can do about it -- as hard as it is for me to say that, that's the true. Sometimes life sucks and we just have to accept it. I suggest that you rest in the pain you feel right now and don't' resist it. The old saying -- 'whatever you resist persists' -- somehow comes to mind as I am writing you this.What is really going on? Are you angry, sad, frustrated -- all of the above? Then rest in it -- punch a pillow, scream out loud when nobody can hear, cry -- give voice to your emotions. NO matter what you are feeling I recommend -- don't close your heart to love. Love the beggar even when he yells at you, and your friends even when you feel disconnected, and keep your heart open even when you hate your ex-boyfriend -- but most of all Meli (that's me) -- love your-Self and embrace your-Self even when you look back and see what you don't like about you, even when you yell back at the beggar -- love your-Self even when you think you don't have any love in your heart."
Yeah - my mom is a genius. She also clued me in to this amazing site about gratitude. And it was there that I did the practice of being grateful for my uniqueness. As I contemplated the "melody of my life" I was originally skeptical - seemed like some new age hippie stuff. But as I worked through the practice I realized mine is food. I love to eat food, I love to learn about food, I carefully contemplate each day what I put in my body and what that means for me, my community, the world, the planet. So if I am passionate about food (not necessarily making it but I like that too) - can I tie it into librarianship? Along those lines...I read a great story about hummus (oh so yummy and vegan) that I'll be posting tomorrow.
Here I am - newly single, with undefined passion, cursing at beggars. Life isn't always pretty but it keeps me on my toes.